October 31, 2006
ASIAN GIRLS HAUNT ME TO MY FREAKING CORE...
It's a pretty daunting task to try to sum up one of the greatest travel experiences of your life in a blog entry, or even a series of blog entries. It has been a wierd adjustment coming back to all of the wierd shit that I have become accustomed to surrounding myself on a day to day basis. Beyond the zombie-like jetlag, and chronic insomnia/ narcolepsy I've felt since I've been back, I also have this overwhelming sinking feeling of homesickness. It's wierd when you have that feeling once you've actually come home. I generally start missing the familiarity of home, and stupid stuff like watching TV and being able to check my e-mail a jillion times a day after about a week or so, but this time I'm feeling homesick for a place I've never lived. I am about a hop skip and a jump away from saying fuck it all and moving to Tokyo pemanently. This may sound hella gay, but being there really makes me appreciate being alive. When I'm here it just seems like I'm paying the bills, going through the motions. Goddamn you Japanese girls... I'm back motherfuckers, let's do this...
October 27, 2006
Maybe I've been out of the loop but....
The b-girl look needs to come the fuck back. At least where I live. Most of the girls I see in my neighborhood look like some combination of Ric Ocasek and Pat Benetar. What's with the puffy shoulders, ladies?
Gimme a bitch in a swishy track suit and some door knockers. Silver hoops if you're latina or white. Adidas Stan Smiths. NO shelltoes,girls. I still want your feet to look small and when you rock the Superstars, your dogs look like they came off of Voltron.
I could just be feeling nostalgic, but girls look cute as hell when they dress like this. I know I'm right.
Gimme a bitch in a swishy track suit and some door knockers. Silver hoops if you're latina or white. Adidas Stan Smiths. NO shelltoes,girls. I still want your feet to look small and when you rock the Superstars, your dogs look like they came off of Voltron.
I could just be feeling nostalgic, but girls look cute as hell when they dress like this. I know I'm right.
October 25, 2006
October 24, 2006
Sparks Update To Keep It Trill.
As y'all may be aware, Sparks has recently introduced Sparks Plus. If Sparks Regs wont cut it for you anymore, this is truly the way to go.There's a higher alcohol content as well as more of the "energy" (read 'trucker speed' ) stuff that they throw in there. Insane.I was at a Hot Snakes show a while back and for whatever reason, the club was selling these volitile little fuckers for a dollar. I drank eight of them, almost beat the hell out of a guy, and walked like five miles home all fucking charged up and probably clenching my everything.
Also, if you'd care to experience one of the illest buzzes on the planet, I suggest you try putting a lil Codine Syrup up in your Sparks. It will turn you into a stumbling fool,but you'll be stumblin' and a mumblin' super fucking fast and lucid. That is the best and worst part of the whole trip.
Also, if you'd care to experience one of the illest buzzes on the planet, I suggest you try putting a lil Codine Syrup up in your Sparks. It will turn you into a stumbling fool,but you'll be stumblin' and a mumblin' super fucking fast and lucid. That is the best and worst part of the whole trip.
October 22, 2006
To The East, My Brother, To The East!
I would've put up "Fire & Earth", but I can't find a video for it.
October 18, 2006
I wanna fuck Lady Soverign
The British generally have a goofy way of messing up things that are purely American. Take 'grime' for example. It's like they took some hip-hop,added terrible drum and bass,threw in some unnecessary dub stylee,banged some mash and there you have it.Crummy.
I don't know where "The Streets" falls in this category, but he's all right with me. That Dizzee Razzcal dude? He's gotta go. He sucks.
Lady Soverign, though. I saw a picture of her in Blender rocking some gold fronts on just her bottom teefs and BOOM........Boner City.
I can't say that I'm all that fond of her music, but I really want to bang that bird. The same goes for Lily Allen.
I don't know where "The Streets" falls in this category, but he's all right with me. That Dizzee Razzcal dude? He's gotta go. He sucks.
Lady Soverign, though. I saw a picture of her in Blender rocking some gold fronts on just her bottom teefs and BOOM........Boner City.
I can't say that I'm all that fond of her music, but I really want to bang that bird. The same goes for Lily Allen.
October 16, 2006
Sparks: Gasoline For Your Mouth
3 reasons why I love Sparks:
1. After 3 or 4 cans, I get amped out of my fucking mind.
2. It tastes like Sweet-Tarts. That shit brings me back every time.
3. When you drink it AND take the Vicodin that you've been legally prescribed, your world gets turned upside down in a really, really good way.
3 reasons why I hate Sparks:
1. It leaves you with a hard hangover the next morning.
2. The can looks like a battery. I understand the marketing, but come on.
3. When you drink 6 cans then fall asleep, you wake up 3 hours later choking whomever is lying next to you. You're not even drunk when you're doing this, you're just still hyped out of your fucking mind.
October 13, 2006
Mr. Nasty Raps Presents "Great People of the World - Cytherea"
This week we take a look at one of my favorite starlets, “The Goddess of Gush”, Cytherea. Cytherea is an adult film star that broke onto the scene in the 2003 movie, Secrets Exposed. She doesn’t look like your average porn star. She stands only 5’3” tall and has average-sized, natural breasts. She does however have one talent that separates her from any woman that I’ve ever seen. She can squirt female ejaculate out of her vagina at a distance of up to twelve feet.
Now I’ve been with some girls that get all slippery, but this broad is insane! Basically, she can orgasm as many times as she wants during a scene and leaves the whole set drenched. You’ll be watching and think it’s like any other scene, and then all of a sudden, BAM! She gets to quivering, yells a little bit, her labia spreads, and TADOW!!! It’s like a fucking fire-hose.
I’ve realized over time that her appeal isn’t actually her ability to squirt. It’s the fact that she has multiple, real orgasms during any given scene. It’s a different experience when you realize that the girl onscreen isn’t just some coked up broad who got conned into fucking on camera. She’s a true innovator.
Recommended Work: Squirtwoman Volume 2, Semen Demons, Barely Legal All-Stars 3, If It Ain’t Black Take It Back 4
Oktoberfest,y'all !!!
So, here in The City of Syrup, some folks like to get they buzz on the old fashioned way. By brewing their own beer. Who needs Miller telling you what's good? Even the so called "microbreweries" are mostly owned by one of the huge ones. Don't be fooled!! You wanna get fucked up? Make your own. It's cheaper, tastes better, and it's stronger. All you need is a little bit of patience and you can get yourself all twisted D.I.Y. style.
If you happen to be in the Houston area this weekend, CCSD is hosting the illest display of homemade beer you're likley to see anytime soon. Jimmie's Icehouse. 2-10 p.m. H-Town hold it down.
Something tells me a few of you wont be able to make it.
I made Malt Liquor. "Dead Homies Malt Liquor"
Dang.
If you happen to be in the Houston area this weekend, CCSD is hosting the illest display of homemade beer you're likley to see anytime soon. Jimmie's Icehouse. 2-10 p.m. H-Town hold it down.
Something tells me a few of you wont be able to make it.
I made Malt Liquor. "Dead Homies Malt Liquor"
Dang.
October 11, 2006
Things I regret saying about music
* Onyx is really on to something.
* Q-Tip could totally go solo.
* The Beatles "White Album" stinks.
* Elton John sucks.
* Q-Tip could totally go solo.
* The Beatles "White Album" stinks.
* Elton John sucks.
TOKYO OR BUST!
YO! It's your boy S-dot; -I'm gonna be overseas handling various assorted powermoves for the next 2 weeks and will most likely be unable to supply you with the usual Mark Foley updates, celebrity vaginas, hot asians, and other worthless bits of trivia that you have come to rely on. When I come back I'm sure I'll have plenty of ill photos and stories to share; but in the meantime I'm handing over the keys to the whip to my very capable staff of fellow LOA gangstas. Let's keep theis thing moving till I get back ok? -That means you Rabid Rappin Rabit, Black Squirrel Aliance, Rykwon, Mr. Nasty Raps etc... Who knows, maybe we'll even get a new installment of 'America' from our boy "Nutty B"-A.K.A. Todd Bratrud. Hold it down, Represent the LOA- All day erry day!
October 10, 2006
October 8, 2006
October 7, 2006
October 6, 2006
EXCLUSIVE GANGSTA-ASS L.O.A. SCREENSAVER! (KENYEH'S BIRFDAY EDITION)
When you're down with the L.O.A, you are rollin' with some trill-ass muthafuckaz. Shit's always blowing up, like real-life fire-type explosions. My man Mike Davis has got the pistolgrip mossberg pump on his lap (at all times) -except for when he's waving it around wildly shooting shit. It's crazy man... Shouts out to my girl Kenyeh in the Chi, holdin it down. It's her birfday on tuesday so if you know her and you're on myspace, holler at her one time...
October 5, 2006
ONCE AGAIN, INDIA IS KICKING OUR COLLECTIVE ASSES
This may be the best thing to happen since the original Thriller video.
October 4, 2006
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'VE HEARD ABOUT (MARK) FO-LEY, BUT HE'S A MUTHAFUCKIN' P.I.M.P.
(A predatory congressional P.I.M.P. of teenage boys)
October 3, 2006
ASHTON KUTCHER NARCING OUT THE BUSH TWINS
Actor Ashton Kutcher is revealing details -- sort of -- about how he got President George W. Bush's twin girls to go back to his place after a party a year and a half ago in Los Angeles.The "That '70s Show" star told Rolling Stone in its new issue that Jenna and Barbara Bush were drinking at his house, even though they were underage.He also implies that he caught them smoking pot with a friend of his.He told Rolling Stone that he could "smell the green wafing out" from his friend's door, and when he opened it, he saw the friend "smoking out the Bush twins on his hookah."Kutcher told the magazine that he thinks the Secret Service has been tapping his phone ever since.Kutcher has played Michael Kelso on "That '70s Show" since 1998. He's also starred in the movies "Dude, Where's My Car?" and "Just Married."
October 2, 2006
THE CARTER BROTHERS HAVING THEIR PERIODS ALL OVER EACH OTHER
I'm not even sure why these dudes are famous. I think one of them was in a horrible boy band about 9 years ago, and the other one is his brother. The brother may have made some awful music himself, by virtue of being related to a quasi famous person with little or no talent. Watch as these two mongoloids go at it, bumping their man-vaginas together like a mosh pit at a Melissa Ethridge concert.
MESSAGE TO OUR TROOPS IN IRAQ: JUST TRY TO STAY ALIVE UNTIL AFTER THE ELECTIONS... -THEN MAYBE WE CAN FIGURE SOMETHING OUT...
Either I'm on crack right now, or one of the 'journalists' at Fox news just went off the reservation and is actually trying to get loathesome Neo-Con Bill Kristol, to fess-up to how miserably his boys are handling the war in Iraq. As expected, he assumes everyone is completely braindead, and will still believe the official line of bullshit, in spite of all facts, logic and rational thought. These Neo-Con Republicans are truly disgusting people.
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