BLOGGWATCH: PrusSim Blue

Credit where credit is due, I absolutely had to put this fellow blogger's site on blast. Conceptually this thing is brilliant, -using screengrabs from "The Sims" video game as the visuals for virtual soap opera about everyone's favorite pre-teen whitepower band Prussian Blue! Check it out: PruSim Blue Blog

EITHER / OR VOLUME 2

Alright people, strap on your thinking caps; -LET'S DO THIS! I'm gonna set off round 2 off like this:
The scenario is this: you have to take a Greyhound bus from Bangor Maine to San Diego California sitting next to either Ann Coulter while she's having her period (assuming she actually has one), or Jar Jar Binks who's taken about 9 different hits of extasy and is just bugging the fuck out. From Start to finish the entire trip will take about 4 days, with intermittent stops to eat, get food, use the restroom etc. If you complete your mission, you will recieve a million dollars cash and will be able to magically have sex with whoever you want for 72 hours. However, if you fail, you will get both kneecaps smashed backwards by a sledgehammer, and be forced to listen to the song "Pretty fly (for a white guy)" by The Offspring on constant loop for 72 hours. -GOOD LUCK!-This one is tough...

Go on the record and state your choices AND reasons for your decision in the comments section below. (Please leave your name or alias at the end if you have not already established yourself as a regular on the blog)

UNPROTECTED SEX WITH COMPLETE STRANGERS: IT'S MY ANTI-DRUG

TRUE MILE-HIGH STORY: THE STOLEN SPEAKERS SAGA

At the gas station today.......

Frat-Looking Dudes: "Hey guy, wanna buy some speakers?"
Me: "Sorry, I don't buy stolen speakers"
Dudes: "They're not stolen...is YOUR car stolen?"
Me: "Yeah it is. So It'll go good with those stolen speakers!"
Dudes: "Go Fuck yourself!" (screeching tires as they peel out)

(Story by A. Nye)

DOES HEAVEN HAVE A GHETTO?

I'm just saying.....

THIS ONE IS FOR RASTROY.

Likka shot pon drum knowledge Seen!!
BO BO BO pom pom.

WHITE KNOWLEDGE

Which one do you exterminate first?

The little Funyon inhaling bag of shitdouche, or the flabby tentacled soon-to-be-housebound marshmellow scuplture?
I know Vice has cornered the market on this kind of observational humor, but, DID YOU SEE HIS SHIRT?
Also, she's doing the invisible crown poplock to further stimulate his well deserved sense of 11 year old macho superiority.
You should have heard the digital flashbulbs popping when these two sauntered past.

SERIOUSLY THOUGH...YUCK

EITHER / OR round one:
Allright here it is folks. We've got a brand new interactive game for the site. This is the extreme, 'virtual' version of the classic "EITHER / OR" game, where you you present someone with an impossible lose/lose situation, and the person has to make a choice between worst and REALLY WORST. For example, imagine a presidential election between George W. Bush and lets just say... -Scott Peterson. I mean... It could go either way really...Like yeah, Peterson murdered his pregnant wife and unborn child, but shit, he might have some really good ideas on foriegn policy? I dunno, I can't even call it...
So here we go, ROUND 1- your situation is:
Both Anne Coulter and Kelly Osbourne are completely obsessed with you- they're both total nymphos and want your cock in the worst way possible. You must pick one of them, and be in an intimate monogamous sexual relationship with her for exactly one year. If you are able to complete your mission, you will recieve 100 million dollars (tax-free) in an offshore Swiss bank account. If not, you and every member of your family (grandparents too) will be savagely beaten to death with shovels and bats, and then buried in a cornfield (like that Joe Pesci scene from the movie Casino). For many of you, I suspect that this may be one of the most difficult choices you will ever have to make, but therein lies the beauty of the game.

Go on the record and state your choices and reasons for your decision in the comments section below. (Please leave your name or alias at the end if you have not already established yourself as a regular on the blog)

SPECIAL! "EITHER / OR" LADIES EDITION

We are progressive thinkers here at LORDS OF APATHY blog. We believe in a woman's right to choose. Alright Ladies, choose away: -Same rules as the men's version: 100 Million bucks in an offshore Swiss account if you have a one-year intimate monogamous sexual relationship with either that Nazi from Raiders of the Lost Ark, or Donald Trump. If you bail out before your year is up, you and your entire family get savagely beaten to death in a cornfield. Also note, in this scenario, both Trump and Major Toht (the Nazi) are MAJOR freaks in the sack, and are popping Viagaras like crazy. For the sake of fairplay, let's just say that both these dudes are in a dead heat financially (-since that's all you bloodsucking hoes really seem to care about) .

(Footnote: -Assume the Nazi's face will remain as pictured above.)

Go on the record and state your choices and reasons for your decision in the comments section below. (Please leave your name or alias at the end if you have not already established yourself as a regular on the blog)

MARK CUBAN GOES NUTS(ER) AFTER THE MAVERICKS DROP 4 STRAIGHT IN THE NBA FINALS

TOFURKY is DA' BOMB!!!

I'm about to go make a sandwich out of that shit right now...

SAM ROSEN: HALF MAN, HALF JEWISH, HALF AMAZING

WHAT IT DO...This fool Sam is about to get blogged on... In case any of yall Rip Van Winkle-ass motherfuckers out there slept on the critically acclaimed 2001, box-office smash 'Herman USA', you missed S-dot Rosen's Spellbinding performance as 'Eddie' the Bellhop, -where Rosen takes you on a psychological thrillride that will leave you on the edge of your fucking seat, gasping for more. The fact of the matter is, Sam pretty much brings the drama to your diaphragm EVERY time he acts..-No Joke. -Sometimes he'll even come with DOUBLE DRAMA in a very DJ K Slay-type manner. This dude is so fucking talented that if you see one of his plays, you wont even be annoyed when they do that thing where they stare off into the abyss...-like,towards the crowd, -as if you're not there, and it's just an imaginary continuation of the play's set). -Straight up, this fool has got chops. He's like A white Denzell Washington meets a younger, more 'hip' Ed Begley Jr. The word on the skreet is that S.R. just wrapped up his latest production 'Ham Lake'-a play that he wrote and stars in. If you weren't fortunate enough to see it, peep the trailer from his forthcoming full-length movie based on the play Ham Lake. Rumor has it that there may even be a role for yours truly, -Snickerdoodles Mcoppycock, up in that piece -probably playing a bellhop of some sort...-But like a thugged-out bellhop that makes out with hella asian bitches.

Click to read New York Times Review of 'Ham Lake'

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU HEARD ABOUT VILI....

-But he's a motherfucking P.I.M.P...

YOU MUST WATCH THIS. IT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE

CLICK TO WATCH VIDEO

PAULA ZAHN GETS THE GAS FACE

If you are one of the 12 remaining people left on earth that believes major television networks give an unbiased portrayal of the 'news' as opposed to a 'script' faxed over from Karl Rove's office; please take a moment to remove your head from your very own ass:ZAHN: "Your party is getting creamed as the party of cut-and- runners, the wobbly, the weak. Some Democrats want the immediate withdrawal of U.S. troops from Iraq. Some think they should be out a year from now. And some think setting a timetable, period, is irresponsible. So, do you understand why that divisiveness compromises the credibility of your party?"

SENATOR JOE BIDEN: "Well, I don't think it does compromise the credibility. I understand the divisiveness, because they look at a united Republican Party in a failed policy."

Click to watch video courtesy Media Matters for America

TED NUGENT IS A FUCKING LUNATIC... AND A WORLD CLASS ASSHOLE TOO

Lately, during my free time, I have been mentally narrowing down the roster for my worthless dipshit hall of fame team;. -A loose batch of names that keep bouncing around in my head, each person vying for a spot in the starting rotation. Some of the regulars include Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly, perennial favorite Anne Coulter, Pat Robertson, and a host of other vile stomach churning individuals. However one person has dominated the arena of repulsive scummyness for decades. Ted Nugent has virtually written the book on being an asshole... -So much so, that i'm almost considering sending O'Reilly down to the minors to work on his game. Nugent's very existence is so breathtakingly repulsive it's a mere hop skip and a jump from mindboggling. Here are a few poignant examples of 'The Nuge's' mastery of the fine art of being an all-around terrible person:

[Nugent's] conversations are peppered with the word 'nigger'. He refers to his upcoming tour of Japan the "Jap Whack Tour". -Detroit Free Press Magazine , July 15, 1990

"My being there (South Africa) isn't going to affect any political structure. Besides, apartheid isn't that cut-and-dry. All men are not created equal." - Detroit Free Press Magazine , July 15, 1990

"Yeah, we want to go to Saudi Arabia, man, and see if we can't get a four iron and knock people's laundry off the top of their heads. Wear laundry on your head and die, is the basic theme of the Damn Yankees" (The Damn Yankees was Ted's band in the '90s)

"The government must stay out of my life. If there are weenies who are in the liability column of our nation, tough shit." -(Regardingt national healthcare)

"Yeah they love me (in Japan) - they're still assholes. These people they don't know what life is. I don't have a following, -they need me; they don't like me they need me ... -Foreigners are assholes; foreigners are scum; I don't like 'em; I don't want 'em in this country; I don't want 'em selling me doughnuts; I don't want 'em pumping my gas; I don't want 'em downwind of my life-OK?"

"Anybody that doesn't think it is better to blow someones brains out than to be raped, deserves to be raped! If you don't think your life is worth it then please go out there, don't wear any underpants and get RAPED!! Cuz you deserve it ..."

About Hillary Clinton: "You probably can't use the term 'toxic cunt' in your magazine, but that's what she is. Her very existence insults the spirit of individualism in this country. This bitch is nothing but a two-bit whore for Fidel Castro."

"I have a brain and I work that brain and it works and it knows the difference between right and wrong and it's got a thread of common sense. And that it's not Ted's opinion. It is how it is ... we're just working hard, playing hard and anybody that wants to get in our way does not deserve anything less than a bullet between the eyes ..."

Regarding Military Service: He claims that 30 days before his draft board physical, he stopped all forms of personal hygiene. The last 10 days, he ingested nothing but Vienna sausages and Pepsi; and a week before his physical, he stopped using bathrooms altogether, virtually living inside pants caked with his own excrement, stained by his urine. That spectacle won Nugent a deferment, he says. "If I would have gone over there, I'd have been killed, or I'd have killed, or I'd killed all the hippies in the foxholes...I would have killed everybody."

PAUL WELLSTONE: AMERICAN HERO

“Politics isn't about big money or power games; it's about the improvement of people's lives” -Paul Wellstone

HOT ASIAN GIRL Du JOUR: JUN NATSUKAWA

Hey, how fucked was that scene in the last Star Wars movie 'Return of the Sith' (or whatever), -where Darth Vader learns that Pad Mei croaked during childbirth? -"NOOOO!!!". That was incredible, I could hardly believe my eyes/ ears on that shit. Then he goes and tops it off with that wierd-looking stiff-legged robot walk as he rips out of his restraints... -how fucking gay. Honestly though, that Natalie Portman has blossomed into hot lil' piece of ass on us all of a sudden. I totally want to move to Tokyo and just bang hot chicks all the time. That'd be awesome

PRUSSIAN BLUE: PRETEEN WHITE POWER SINGING DUO

Lamb and Lynx Gaede, adolescent twin girls who make up the band Prussian Blue, have gained recognition in white supremacist circles, by singing about preserving the white race and Nazi heroes.Prussian Blue is the name of the blue residue left over by the use of Zyklon B, the poison the Nazis employed to kill millions of Jews and others in concentration camps during World War II. The two girls learned their white supremacist ideology from their mother, April Gaede, who home schooled them and is their manager. April Gaede has been active in the white supremacist movement for a number of years, and claims to have grown up in a "racially conscious" home herself. She first gained attention while a member of the neo-Nazi National Alliance in California. Gaede vigorously promoted Prussian Blue and the duo became a regular fixture at a variety of white power events, including National Alliance meetings, white power concerts, Holocaust denial events and European cultural festivals where the planners were often not aware of the girls' white supremacist ideology. In April 2005, April Gaede, along with a number of other members, was expelled from the National Alliance. She later helped form the National Vanguard, which absorbed many of the chapters that once belonged to the Alliance. In 2005, Prussian Blue played at various white supremacist gatherings, including events organized by the National Vanguard. Most recently the group performed on October 15 at Euro Fest, sponsored by the Phoenix unit of the National Vanguard, and at Hammerfest 2005, a white power festival held this year near Atlanta on October 1-2, which attracted racist skinheads and white supremacists from around the country. In the same month, they appeared on a nationally televised news magazine show, and received tremendous attention from the mainstream media, both nationally and internationally. Prussian Blue maintains a Web site which sells their CDs and music videos, as well as white supremacist and Holocaust denial literature. They are currently working on a their new album which is being produced by Kevin Federline, with cameo appearances by Toby Keith and Ann Coulter.

Peep Prussian Bleezy's hot new joint "I WILL BLEED FOR YOU" on the player below. That shit is bangin' son!!

KNOW the LEDGE

You know; maybe we've been a bit too harsh on the prez lately... I mean yeah, 60,000 people dead in Iraq and everything... -But Indian mangoes?? C'mon now... If you've ever had a mango lassie from an Indian restaurant, you know what the fuck I'm talking about. Those shits are delicious.

BELT BUCKLE OF THE YEAR

To the best of my knowledge, I don't think this can be topped in the categories of concept and comedic value. If you think you've got something better, come with it....

SOULMAN BRINGS YOU "The Real Schitt™"

This is ZZ Jamboarder writing, not Mr. McPoppycock.

Gotta give it up to the homie SOULMAN from Philadelphia, who's been K-I-L-L-I-N-G IT with the ill Photoshop collages for his eBay auctions. Here are some of the best...

PACKER LEGEND: LeROY BUTLER

LeRoy Butler was one of my alltime favorite Packers players. He was, in my opinion, the Ray Lewis of the 90's. Well, not quite as good as Lewis, but as far as defensive backs are concerned those are the top two guys I can think of I'd not want to get tackled by. Butler would knock people's fucking blocks off. He was awesome, and played a huge role in the Packers' Domination in the late 90's. I get goosebumps thinking about the squad they had back then... Favre, Antonio Freeman, Reggie White, Mark 'the babysitter fucker' Chmura, Desmond Howard, Gilbert Brown... -fuck... It makes me wanna party like it's 1997 ( Jan. 26 1997 to be more specific).

QUOTE OF THE MONTH

98% of what this dude says is 100% brilliant. Politically and socially. Check out Cenk's blog on Huffington Post and his radio/ video show 'The Young Turks' online. 3:00-6:00 (Pacific time) Weekdays. I watch that shit like errryday...
www.huffingtonpost.com/cenk-uygur/
www.theyoungturks.com

KNOW the LEDGE

Click below for audio

TUCKER GERRICK PENCIL DRAWING OF KATE MOSS

Once again Tucker bringing it to our collective chest pieces with this off the chain drawing of waif supermodel Kate Moss. I love the way he was able to capture that 'coked-out frenzy' look in her eye. -Nice...

THE WORST PLACES IN THE WORLD

(in order)

1. Las Vegas airport
2. Abu Ghraib
3. Every bathroom in the Life Sucks Die / Burlesque office building.
4. This sports bar I went to last night in New Brighton, MN that had Walleye Fingers and Cheeseburger Salad on the menu.

THE FOLLOWING PEOPLE SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO SPEAK INTO MICROPHONES EVER

1. Lindsay Lohan.
Her voice is like that annoying girl you went to Hebrew school with but had started smoking in like 2nd grade. Cut her off please.

End of list.

A TRULY DISGUSTING HUMAN BEING

Sean Hannity has the knack for taking false infomation and saying it with such conviction, that to the uninitiated, you might think that he actually believes it himself. -The fact of the matter is he doesn't... He doesn't view inforamtion as a way to enlightenment, but rather a tool to try to decieve people and push his psychotic bigoted elitist agenda for his masters at Fox News.

PENCIL DRAWING BY AYE JAY MORANO

Aye Jay Has got me stuck off some mindboggling realness with this pencil drawing of Brotha Lynch. -Where you at Tucker!? Peep even more realness at www.ayejay.com

MID-WEEK WARM-UP RAP PICTOGRAM

Fellow L.O.A. soldier / artistic mastermind behind the world famous "Gangsta Rap Coloring Book" Aye Jay 'Soprano' 'Borriqua' Morano Submitted this special mid-week rap pictogram. This pictogram is inteneded to keep your skills on point however this is not an officially sanctioned Lords of Apathy rap pictogram, -Meaning, this is more of a scrimmage. It does not go towards the L.O.A. Rap Pictograms World Championship. Speaking of scrimmages, what's up with the Packers' training camp? -Anybody? How's A.J. Hawk shaping up?... Jeezus... How many A.J.s are there? I just heard about former Minnesota Twins catcher A.J. Pierzinski getting in a lil skirmish after getting his fucking block knocked off trying to lock down home plate. I haven't heard about any "A.C's" lately... -O.J.'s Homie A.C. Al Cowlings was the last one... But there was Notorious middle-aged virgin / former L.A. Laker / former Jherri curl haver A.C. Green. I'm gonna go listen to a lil' G-n'-R. Later...(CLICK IMAGE TO ENLARGE)

KNOW the LEDGE

Click below for audio: