go to about the 15 munite point... heavy duty.
February 28, 2007
February 27, 2007
HERE YA GO FREIGHTMAN...(now get off my motherfucking back already)
As always, Lords of Apathy remains committed to supplying you with all the important 'need-to-know' information thats going on out there; as well as keeping you up-to-date on hot asian girls. It was suggested by one of our regular guests, 'freightman', in a recent post, that I somehow had a problem showcasing girls with gigantic asses. As many of you can imagine, this is about as absurd a notion as can be imagined. It's like; you show a video of a girl taking a shower in a black bikini, -she doesn't exactly have the greatest ass in the world, -and all of a sudden I'm made out to be Joseph Goebbels up in this bitch... Jeezus... -Gimme a goddamned break already
February 26, 2007
EX-NAZI WAR CRIMINAL MAKING COOL ART INSTALLATION
Actually, I dont think he's a war criminal at all... I'm just trying to market this shit, ya feel me?
February 25, 2007
"THROW SOME Ds ON THAT BITCH" Featuring Dakota Fanning
In the wake of Rich Boy's smash hit "Throw Some Ds on That Bitch", and Kanye's subsequent remix (Click title for link), I decided to introduce a brand new feature for L.O.A. It's pretty much self-explanatory, but for those of you out of the proverbial 'loop', it's basically a hypothetical situation involving rather substantial breast augmentation. In order to accomodate this week's lucky celebrity critically acclaimed actress, Dakota Fanning, I needed to create some specialized software for my computer that would create a likely projection of what Dakota would look like as a legal adult (with Ds). It's similar to the software the FBI uses to help approximate the appearance of missing children in order to positively identify them many years later. It took me pretty much all weekend, but I think I've taken the technology one huge step foreward by enabling us not only to see an approximate age projection, but one with a full voluptuous cleavage to boot.
February 24, 2007
February 23, 2007
JOE LIEBERMAN IS A PHENOMENAL ASSHOLE
100% SELLOUT... -Thanks a lot for ruining America Connecticut voters.
February 20, 2007
WORD 2.0
So the other day, I mentioned some slang that needs to be brought back from the dead and since then, I have not been able to stop thinking about it. This may be due to me being sort of old as well as my utter lack of rap type friends here in Screwston. I kinda get bummed out when I hear a dude in an Arctic Monkeys t shirt saying "Holla!" I'm totally aware that this is beyond my control, but maybe that's why I want to dig up the old isht. Hipsters cant keep up with my style........so without further delay, here's my choices for Hall of Fame status.
Bozak....as in, "Get up offa my bozak!" I wish that someone around here started using this as their graf name as well just so I could walk around town (with the pound strapped down) saying shit like "Geez...BOZAK really gets up round here" That shit is priceless.
Half Step....as in "Aint No Half Steppin'" You know the deal. Telling someone that they're half steppin is the verbal equivalent to rubbing your balls and then slapping their face with the nutt hand.
Dipped...as in, "I was dipped in the flyest gear" This one may still be around, but my grey haired ass never hears anyone say it. Except, of course, the man in the mirror. Oosh.
Fly....see above. I was at a coffee shop (first mistake) the other day and I was talking to the girl behind the counter.(mistake two) I refered to a car parked outside as fly and this chick looked at me like I was showing a dog a card trick. I decided not to discuss the Juice Crew and their collective discography.
Since I already have many aliases, more pop up with alarming speed and the new one is my R&B Akon style fuck jam name.........Flipnotiq. I just heard panties drop all over the globe. Don't worry, ladies.....Big Flip will be home soon.
Bozak....as in, "Get up offa my bozak!" I wish that someone around here started using this as their graf name as well just so I could walk around town (with the pound strapped down) saying shit like "Geez...BOZAK really gets up round here" That shit is priceless.
Half Step....as in "Aint No Half Steppin'" You know the deal. Telling someone that they're half steppin is the verbal equivalent to rubbing your balls and then slapping their face with the nutt hand.
Dipped...as in, "I was dipped in the flyest gear" This one may still be around, but my grey haired ass never hears anyone say it. Except, of course, the man in the mirror. Oosh.
Fly....see above. I was at a coffee shop (first mistake) the other day and I was talking to the girl behind the counter.(mistake two) I refered to a car parked outside as fly and this chick looked at me like I was showing a dog a card trick. I decided not to discuss the Juice Crew and their collective discography.
Since I already have many aliases, more pop up with alarming speed and the new one is my R&B Akon style fuck jam name.........Flipnotiq. I just heard panties drop all over the globe. Don't worry, ladies.....Big Flip will be home soon.
THE ANNA NICOLE NONSENSE CONTINUES...
This is a video shot while she was allegedly eight months pregnant. I honest to Lucifer don't even know what to say here. There are a lot of Ronald McDonald and I.C.P. jokes coming into my head, but the video speaks for itself. Unfuckingbelievable.
As always, stay tuned to the L.O.A. for more updates.
As always, stay tuned to the L.O.A. for more updates.
MAKING JOSH LAZCANO AN OFFER HE CAN'T REFUSE... (MAYBE)
After several failed attempts at getting longtime L.O.A. reader and goth enthusiast Josh Lazcano to become officially knighted a Lords of Apathy Gangsta, I think I've finally sweetened the pot enough where he wont be able to resist any longer. Actually, I dont even know, I haven't bothered watching the video yet... I just got the impression that it had something to do with a teenaged goth murderer, and that seemed pretty neat... so yeah. I hope it's good. I'm about to watch it right after I finish writing about it. Holla back Josh. -L.O.A. all day. Handling goth biz in the streets; -fuck makin' records...
I OFFICIALLY DECLARE IT TIM RYAN WEEK ON L.O.A.
I've been singing this guy's praises for several months now, so I think it's about high time "Pretty Timmy" got his own week dedicated to him. Peep his closing line, and how he flips the script on the classic Don Rumsfeld line "You go to war with the army you have; not the army you wish you have"...He's a bad motherfucker. (not bad meaning 'bad', but bad meaning 'good')
HOT ASIAN COIFF Du JOUR
Tell me that this nigga isn't getting more pussy than he knows what to do with. I bet bitches are lined up around the block waiting to run their fingers through his 14-inch-tall bleach-blond pompadour. They literally start ovulating when they see that skraggly mullet whipping around the back of his neck on a windy Harajuku afternoon. I can only pray that his armband is emblazoned with some type of swastica of some sort. That'd be simply... DELICIOUS!
February 19, 2007
100% HETEROSEXUAL MUTHAFUCKAZ...
For all the Doubting Thomas-ass homophobes out there trying to hate on our boy Carl, I just wanted to submit this little piece of video to let all y'all know what time it is. Like the title says, 100% Heterosexual...-Just like our boy Ted Haggard, former leader of the biggest Evangelical megachurch in the country, these dudes are boning bitches on the reg duke... That's real; -hallelujah holla back!!
I DUNNO WHAT YOU HEARD ABOUT TIM RYAN, BUT HE'S A MOTHERFUCKIN' P-I-M-P.
Real talk from Pretty Timmy, regulating on hoes in the house of representatives. His game is so airtight, he lets his mink coat drag on the floor...
CARL LEWIS UPDATE.
In case you were wonderig what Carl Lewis has been up to lately, peep game... IT'LL BLOW YOUR MIND!!
February 17, 2007
ok?
Britney Spears not to have her vagina flashing and K-Fed break-up be outdone by Anna Nicoles death AND the 7 potential fathers of Annas baby (one as you all know may be her OWN dead son) checks herself into rehab only to check herself out of rehab after a ONE day stay to shave her head bald and pop into a tattoo joint to get all inked back. im not too sure what any of this means and i dont know if i wanna know, but i DO hope that todays celebrities keep this shit up!! lookin' good Britt!!
BROTHA LYNCH'S CORNER- SPECIAL LOST IN TRANSLATION EDITION!
I decided to bring back an old favorite for the blog this week. In case you've been slippin on past Brotha Lynch's corner posts, I am continuing my series where I translate his lyrics from English to Japanese and then back to English. I cant exactly remember why I initially started doing this, but I think it had something to do with trying to bone a girl. So yeah... Enjoy Brotha Lynch's re-translated verse from his hit song "Loc'ed 2 da Brain": The slug which is I for fact is put on your throat, your internal organs are put in my coat, the grave you see in my me that my tube, in that night decrease per sack of indo inside of my leather string of your vision Bout everyday is EBK to day, it hit it cannot see and, I where locc to cuz of brain is some collisions from spliff of that all redrum purple am of brain as for locc to every of [wa] niggas without being the game which is one group those niggas with thatDecorate the nut of Nigga of brain is my measuring pump 12 accurately in me who as for the internal organs which we murder the north cal how obtain sickness those, are being ram liquor and fifth workin of the coke which being killed, as for those that thang that of mama for reputation without of being it is not the thing method, me with those reps that of rockin those of em'bustin from us, through your set, 12 o clocks of the spliff of that ammunition of my glock-nine Creepin hit sufficiently sufficiently me who the feeling gat 24 c's from the slug of my 9 the breeze… I those niggas Cuz which has lived throw out at the place where it is the rib of niggas which is bustin of side of the stop sign which the fact that you make go to bed in peace now is seen, permit
February 16, 2007
HOLLA AT YOUR BOY...-LITERALLY...- HOLLER AT HIM
This is an oldie, but goodie... What a fucking asshole.By the way, just a quick follow-up Mr. President... What in the mother of fuck are you talkiing about???
February 15, 2007
Funky Enough
Sorry Todd, I know your intentions were good, but I just can't hang with the Belle & Sebastian acoustic campfire Dre covers. Here's that "Real Schitt™"
February 14, 2007
February 12, 2007
Anna, Zsa Zsa, a baby, some royal fool...
Husband of 90 year old Zsa Zsa Gabor, Prince Frederic Von Anhalt says he had a decade-long affair with Anna Nicole Smith. He said he is more likely to be the father than either Stern, Birkhead or her dead son because he was with Smith during the period when the child was conceived.
Von Anhalt, who is Gabor's eighth husband, said he and Smith met in the 1990s when Smith was still married to elderly oil tycoon J. Howard Marshall II.
this couldnt get any weirder, altho im SURE it will... stay tuned to LOA for updates.
The winter has been awful to me.
Bout two months ago I was hit by a car while riding my scooter through my neighborhood. The culprit was a drunken teenager who fled the scene. Nothing really happened to me but my scooter got pretty fucked up. Last month I crashed again while riding in the rain on my way to work. This time I was hurt. I broke my right collarbone and sprained my left wrist. The only upside to any of this was that I'd saved enough money to not be totally screwed by missing work. I was also prescribed some awesome drugs.
The point of that little back story was to give you all an idea of the pain I was in for the better part of two months. Two months of backaches, bruised ribs and broken stuff. Also two months of "We Fly High" by Jim Jones and it's subsequent shitty non-remix.
I don't like this guy one bit and that fucking song has had enough time in the light. Both need to hide out for a while. While I'm hating this dude, I'd also like to ask that New York rap guys stop using up the best Southern rappers (read: Lil Wayne) to beef up your wack song. No amount of Nolia charisma and clever ass lyrics can save you. Besides, most Southern rap is fucking boring and when one of the few talented ones waste a good verse on your next flop, that pretty much equals one more stupid song about dubs on the next Cash Money release. And for the record, I liked Fat Joe better when he wasn't repping Miami. Don't try to steal Trick Daddy's light.
Everyone knows that live hip hop shows usually suck, so I shouldn't have been surprised when after plunking down 35 (!) bucks to see Slick Rick, Doug E. Fresh, and Big Daddy Kane it would turn out to be horse shit. Nevertheless, I fell for it. I showed up pretty early at the club only to be informed that the show had been cancelled. I was predictably pissed off and wondered how it would have turned out if, say, UGK was on the bill. Anyhow, I hope the same thing doesn't happen next month when Public Enemy is scheduled to appear. With X-Clan no less.
Why did people stop saying "knockin boots"? That phrase, along with the Guru approved "Herb" need to make a fast comeback. I'm not saying that folks have gotten lazy with their slang but those are classics. Speaking of slang.........
"Ghost Rider" will be stinking up a theater near you sooner than you think so you'll probably be subjected to more than your share of marketing. Notice that in the new trailer,when the release date appears on the screen, the announcer fella says"ghost ride the whip". Something that has nothing to do with any aspect of that movie. It just happens to have the same words and marks the death of this goofy fad. I think that whole phenomenon started in Oakland as did "hyphy" which is the funniest rap trend since krumping and is right up there with the "donks" of Miami. I think it's great that rap dudes are going so far out of their way to appear ridiculous.
My new rap name is Mr. Stoneface Stucco. My new b-boy name is a toss up between HAZMAT and Amazin' B. Fresh. Buhlee dat.
The point of that little back story was to give you all an idea of the pain I was in for the better part of two months. Two months of backaches, bruised ribs and broken stuff. Also two months of "We Fly High" by Jim Jones and it's subsequent shitty non-remix.
I don't like this guy one bit and that fucking song has had enough time in the light. Both need to hide out for a while. While I'm hating this dude, I'd also like to ask that New York rap guys stop using up the best Southern rappers (read: Lil Wayne) to beef up your wack song. No amount of Nolia charisma and clever ass lyrics can save you. Besides, most Southern rap is fucking boring and when one of the few talented ones waste a good verse on your next flop, that pretty much equals one more stupid song about dubs on the next Cash Money release. And for the record, I liked Fat Joe better when he wasn't repping Miami. Don't try to steal Trick Daddy's light.
Everyone knows that live hip hop shows usually suck, so I shouldn't have been surprised when after plunking down 35 (!) bucks to see Slick Rick, Doug E. Fresh, and Big Daddy Kane it would turn out to be horse shit. Nevertheless, I fell for it. I showed up pretty early at the club only to be informed that the show had been cancelled. I was predictably pissed off and wondered how it would have turned out if, say, UGK was on the bill. Anyhow, I hope the same thing doesn't happen next month when Public Enemy is scheduled to appear. With X-Clan no less.
Why did people stop saying "knockin boots"? That phrase, along with the Guru approved "Herb" need to make a fast comeback. I'm not saying that folks have gotten lazy with their slang but those are classics. Speaking of slang.........
"Ghost Rider" will be stinking up a theater near you sooner than you think so you'll probably be subjected to more than your share of marketing. Notice that in the new trailer,when the release date appears on the screen, the announcer fella says"ghost ride the whip". Something that has nothing to do with any aspect of that movie. It just happens to have the same words and marks the death of this goofy fad. I think that whole phenomenon started in Oakland as did "hyphy" which is the funniest rap trend since krumping and is right up there with the "donks" of Miami. I think it's great that rap dudes are going so far out of their way to appear ridiculous.
My new rap name is Mr. Stoneface Stucco. My new b-boy name is a toss up between HAZMAT and Amazin' B. Fresh. Buhlee dat.
February 10, 2007
February 9, 2007
ANNA NICOLE SMITH MAY HAVE BONED HER OWN SON AND HAD HIS BABY!!
I don't think that you can rule this out. I mean until there is a DNA test done on her newborn baby to find out who the real babydaddy is, the world may never know. But think about it: -She was a complete headcase, and her son always seemed like a total creep-bag to me. I know it's bad to speak ill of the dead, but I gotta keep it Fair and Balanced y'all...
February 8, 2007
DONT EVER SHOP AT WAL-MART...-EVER.
Watch the WAL-MART VIDEO here. Foreward this link to anyone who will watch it.
ANNA NICOLE SMITH DEAD AT 39 (with her big-ass tits)
Anna Nicole Smith, the former Playboy playmate whose bizarre life careened from marrying an octogenarian billionaire to the untimely death of her son, died Thursday after collapsing in a Florida hotel room, one of her lawyers said. Smith, 39, collapsed and was unresponsive while staying at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino, said the attorney, Ron Rale. Edwina Johnson, chief investigator of the Broward County Medical Examiner's Office, said the cause of death was under investigation and an autopsy would be done on Friday. A private nurse called 911 after finding Smith unresponsive in her sixth-floor room, said Seminole Police Chief Charlie Tiger. He said Smith's bodyguard administered cardiopulmonary resuscitation about an hour before she was declared dead at 2:49 p.m.
February 7, 2007
100% HETEROSEXUAL MUTHAFUCKAS!!; TED HAGGARD BACK IN JESUS' GOOD GRACES AGAIN -NO MORE BONING MALE PROSTITUTES AND SMOKING METH
(-I meant just BUYING meth, but then simply throwing it away) Can I get some 'self-hating' one time for my mind!!?? Can I get some overcompensation and total denial up in this bitch!!? -WHOOOMP WOOOOOOO!!!!!
February 5, 2007
ATTENTION LADIES; IF YOU SEE CONGRESSMAN TIM RYAN ON THE STREET, GIVE HIM A BLOW JOB
This guy is awesome... If I just read the transcript of this speech, I'd surely think it was written by Warren G, based on how much he's 'Regulating'.
February 4, 2007
ATTENTION ALL GAYS... LISTEN UP, THIS SELF-HATING EX-GAY SINGER/SONGWRITER HAS A MESSAGE FROM GOD FOR YOU.
(Apparently, this is not even a joke)
VISIT 'DEAD TO THE WORLD' BLOG
Unless you've been in a constant vegetative state for the past few weeks, then you probably already know about my boy T.H.L.A.T.'s new Blog DEAD TO THE WORLD GANGSTA BLOG. If you haven't seen it by now then do yourself a huge favor and go peep it, and continue supporting our growing network of gang blogs. Tell some bitches about it as well...
February 3, 2007
February 2, 2007
GERMANS ARE UBER-NUTS
From the country that brought you Hitler, pornography that incorporates doo-doo, and the Volkswagon golf, Lords of Apathy Gangsta Blog proudly presents this motherfucking deutsch-bag psychopath. Enjoy!
Turns out K-Fed is rad...
(if you clicked the link in the Title, please make sure you read that first comment)
FAVRE TO RETURN IN 2007!!!!!
"Brett Favre informed me this morning that he plans to return for a 17th NFL season," General Manager Ted Thompson said. "The Packers are excited by his decision and look forward to a successful 2007 campaign." With Favre's return, the Packers hope to continue the success they were building at the end of 2006, when they finished the season with a four-game winning streak to reach the .500 mark at 8-8. "I am so excited about coming back," Favre told the Biloxi Sun Herald newspaper. "We have a good nucleus of young players. We were 8-8 last year and that's encouraging. "My offensive line looks good, the defense played good down the stretch. I'm excited about playing for a talented young football team."
February 1, 2007
2 MAJOR DOMESTIC TERRORISTS NABBED; THE GLOBAL WAR ON TERROR RAGES ON!
Call me crazy, but I could have sworn that I saw a roadside bomb embedded in a Dora the Explorer play kitchen set at Target the other day...A true testament to the stupidity of the American media.
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