THE BIGGEST U.S. EXPORTS: FASCISM AND SUFFERING

I must have been home sick the day they taught us all this in U.S. history:

kidzz bop

i forgot how ill this shit is. you gotta search for "she get it from her mama" to see some serious kids boppin.

HEY, HOWS ABOUT NOT WEARING UGG BOOTS EVER AGAIN...

This should go without saying at this point, but to all you retarded-ass bitches out there who haven't gotten the memo already, if you're running around wearing Ugg boots, thinking you're cute; -you came a little late to the party... -And by 'the party' I mean, a rather lame party that absolutely sucked 3 years ago, but has since had a nuclear bomb of lameness dropped on it and is literally GLOWING with the radiation of rube-dom.
(No offense Shannon)

(*When Barbara or Liz wears them it looks hot though)

INTERNATIONAL BANKERS RULE THE WORLD

ILLUMINATI STUFF

HAVE A HOLLY JOLLY CHRISTMAS!

Jesus is the reason for the season.

DISMISS THIS NOW, REALIZE IT'S DEAD-ON LATER

TOPANGA UPDATE!

Topanga from "Boys Meets World" was arrested on Thursday in Orange County on a drunk driving warrant from Los Angeles County. 26-year-old Danielle Fishel was stopped in a car she was riding in shortly after 5am. I guess they checked everyone out, because her warrant turned up. Busted! I think Topanga is the perfect example of the type of chick who used to be mega hot, but a few years, D.U.Is, and 35 pounds later, she's looks like any random drunken fat girl that you'd find trolling for dick at some sportsbar on a friday night. Now that she's a total mess, it makes you think you might be able to tap that azz, and still be able to get the bragging rights that you banged Topanga. Holla!

Chomsky on Truthers

AARON RUSSO: THE 9/11 FRAUD

GORILLA PIMPIN; ANDRE AGASSI

You can't even fuck with this.

GAY OLYMPIC TRYOUTS

FAT SLOPPY MESS QUASI-EXERCISING

I feel semi-bad about this, but past a certain point I have absolutely no sympathy for the morbidly obese. I mean maybe if it's like a thyroid condition or something that's beyond your control... But if it's just a side-effect of shoveling endless KFC down your fucking throat, don't expect me to care.

AMERICAN HERO NUMBER 1..

i see these serious documentaries about the state of america and we sit over here in the UK wondering why you don't get john to come back over there and straighten shit out.. This is how US foreign policy looks to us..

SHUTTERBUGS EPISODES 1-4

Must see TV!

BOBBE J: THE BEST CHILD ACTOR OF ALL TIME!

What do you get when you mix Robert DeNiro with Dallas Mavericks head coach Avery Johnson, and a 6-year-old child?

STEVE MAHANAHAN'S CHILD CLOWN OUTLET

FUCKING AMAZING:

BEAVER BOYS

CHRIS DODD; A DEMOCRATIC SENATOR WHO'S ACTUALLY DOING HIS FUCKING JOB

WORD THE FUCK UP!! -You GO boyeeee! Imagine if you will, a current Democratic senator who actually bothers to step up and object while Bush/ Cheney are literally having a bukkake session on the constitution... Chris Dizz-odd -BOO YAAA!! If only Chris Dodd was the type of presidential candidate Americans felt they'd want to have a beer with...

AN OPEN LETTER TO KYLE ORTON

Thanks a lot buddy; really good game there. I especially liked that lolipop rainbow wounded duck-ass pass you threw at the end of the game. It was cool how you threw it into the upper stratosphere so that Darren Sharper would have time to recover on defense and intercept it. I mean the motherfucker was only WIDE OPEN for the score had you not tried to bounce it off the roof of the dome before hitting your reciever. So yeah, way to seize the opportunity tonight, good job... -fucking asshole.

AMERICA: FREEDOM to FASCISM

There is no law on the books that says we have to pay income tax. Apparently we have been bullied into submission by the IRS since the early 1900s. Luckily we're all such ballers, we can afford to voluntarily give the government 1/3 of our paycheck so that they can divide it up amongst Dick Cheney's homeboys... -Money aint a thang.You absoIutely NEED to watch this. Find the time to educate yourself on what is really going on in America and how the rule of law and the constitution is becoming a mirage. Please pass the link to this video on to as may people as you can.

BUFFALO 66 IN THE MAKING.

Fucking CHRIST... So I got $200 riding on the Bears tonight vs. the Vikings in the football pool tiebreaker at work. And wouldn't you know, -3rd-string motherfucking KYLE ORTON is starting in place of Rex Grossman, who's out with some kind of knee injury. -FUUUCK!! Generally, (especially when it comes to betting) the Vikings always do the polar opposite of what I want them to do, so expect a full-blown meltdown from me later tonight... If I loose this, I'm holding Kyle Orton personally responsible.

-Kyle Orton doing what he does best.

YURI MORISHITA EATING ICECREAM

Wait til you see the part at the end where she's is literally melting the icecream bar in her cleavage...-It's simply delightful!!

PREPARE TO GET YOUR MIND BLOWN OUT OF YOUR FUCKING SKULL

For all of you cynical fucks out there, give this one at least 15 minutes before you write it off as BS.

OUR BOY FAVRE!

Brett Favre breaks Dan Marino's career passing record to become the NFL leader with 61,405 yards. A simple slant pattern to his favorite receiver gave Brett Favre another record in a milestone season and clinched a first-round playoff bye for the Green Bay Packers. Favre threw for 227 yards and two touchdowns, eclipsing Dan Marino's career record of 61,361 to become the NFL leader in yards passing, in a 33-14 victory over the St. Louis Rams (3-11). Favre, in his 17th season, now has 61,405 yards passing. Green Bay (12-2) needed only to win to secure the bye after Seattle lost to Carolina, 13-10. When the 38-year-old Favre set the record on a seven-yard toss to Donald Driver on the Packers' first drive of the fourth quarter, he had all the fans rooting for him in a sold-out Edward Jones Dome that appeared half-filled with Packers fans.
The game was halted for a few minutes as the record was acknowledged. Driver hugged Favre, who shook hands with referee Ron Winter.
Quoteworthy: "I've said this all along: I've never considered myself to be in the same league as Dan Marino." -- Brett Favre, Packers quarterback

MICHAEL JORDAN; GREATEST OF ALL TIME. -FUCK KOBE

You can't knock the hustle... Whatever you do, you should try to be the 'Michael Jordan' of that thing... Fuck yeah.

its friday night! so you know im bumpin first degree and drinkin tecates.

Space Sex.

US and Russian astronauts have had sex in space for separate research programs on how human beings might survive years in orbit, according to a book published yesterday.

Pierre Kohler, a respected French scientific writer, says in The Final Mission: Mir, The Human Adventure that the subject is taboo both at Nasa and at mission control in Moscow, but that cosmic couplings have taken place.

"The issue of sex in space is a serious one," he says. "The experiments carried out so far relate to missions planned for married couples (and/or astronauts and extraterrestrials) on the future International Space Station, the successor to Mir. Scientists need to know how far sexual relations are possible without gravity."

He cites a confidential Nasa report on a space shuttle mission in 1996. A project codenamed STS-XX-69 was to explore sexual positions possible in a weightless atmosphere.

Twenty positions were tested by computer simulation to obtain the best 10, he says. "Two guinea pigs then tested them in real zero-gravity conditions. The results were videotaped but are considered so sensitive that even Nasa was only given a censored version."

Only four positions were found possible without "mechanical assistance" AKA: a three-way with a robot. The other six needed a special elastic belt and inflatable tunnel, like an open-ended sleeping bag (wink wink).

Mr Kohler says: "One of the principal findings was that the classic so-called missionary position, which is so easy on earth when gravity pushes one downwards, is simply not possible." Who fucking knew?!

DIRT NASTY '1980'

Recognize the strength of coke knowledge...

Read a good book you angry bastards

Al Gore is one of the smartest people alive. If you want to be informed
take a gander at his well crafted book The Assault on Reason.
Scathing at the heart, informative over all,
Rastroy recommended.

WHAT THE FUCK YOU KNOW ABOUT BASKETBALL?

HOT ASIAN GIRL Du JOUR: MEGUMI KAGURAZAKA

I think Luther Vandross said it best when he sang "My, my my my-my-my..." Indeed Luther; My, my my my-my-my are my thoughts on the topic as well. (Click image to get a raging boner in higher resolution)

Hot Asian Girl Du Jour

Asimo, where the FUCK you at?

the future is HERE!
(and by "HERE" i mean the future was posted on YouTube.com on May 11, 2006)

YOUR GOVERNMENT AT WORK!

HOORAY!!! As you may have already noticed, the U.S. government is nearly perfect. All major and minor societal problems have been eliminated. Everything in our government is running like a well oiled machine... So since we've conquered all of the pesky problems that face lesser nations, things like health insurance for children, poverty, racism, global warming etc; it's time for congress to just tie up a few loose ends. And by 'loose ends' -I mean praising Christianity...FINALLY!
Congress Voted and passed Rep. Steve King's (R-Iowa) resolution (H.Res. 847) saying that Christmas and Christians are important. The vote, surprisingly, was 372-9, with 10 members also voting "Present," meaning they took no position on the legislation, and 40 not voting. One of the "Present" votes was cast by Rep. Mike Pence (R-Ind.). More Democrats -195 - voted for the bill than Republicans, 177. The nine members who voted against the bill are Reps. Gary Ackerman (D-N.Y.), Yvette Clarke (D-N.Y.), Diana DeGette (D-Colo.), Alcee Hastings (D-Fla.), Barbara Lee (D-Calif.), Jim McDermott (D-Wash.), Bobby Scott (D-Va.), Pete Stark (D-Calif.) and Lynn Woolsey (D-Calif.).

Here's the text of H.Res. 847, just so you know how important Christianity and Xmas are:

"Recognizing the importance of Christmas and the Christian faith.

Whereas Christmas, a holiday of great significance to Americans and many other cultures and nationalities, is celebrated annually by Christians throughout the United States and the world;
Whereas there are approximately 225,000,000 Christians in the United States, making Christianity the religion of over three-fourths of the American population;
Whereas there are approximately 2,000,000,000 Christians throughout the world, making Christianity the largest religion in the world and the religion of about one-third of the world population;
Whereas Christians identify themselves as those who believe in the salvation from sin offered to them through the sacrifice of their savior, Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and who, out of gratitude for the gift of salvation, commit themselves to living their lives in accordance with the teachings of the Holy Bible;
Whereas Christians and Christianity have contributed greatly to the development of western civilization;
Whereas the United States, being founded as a constitutional republic in the traditions of western civilization, finds much in its history that points observers back to its roots in Christianity;
Whereas on December 25 of each calendar year, American Christians observe Christmas, the holiday celebrating the birth of their savior, Jesus Christ;
Whereas for Christians, Christmas is celebrated as a recognition of God's redemption, mercy, and Grace; and
Whereas many Christians and non-Christians throughout the United States and the rest of the world, celebrate Christmas as a time to serve others: Now, therefore be it

Resolved, That the House of Representatives--

(1) recognizes the Christian faith as one of the great religions of the world;
(2) expresses continued support for Christians in the United States and worldwide;
(3) acknowledges the international religious and historical importance of Christmas and the Christian faith;
(4) acknowledges and supports the role played by Christians and Christianity in the founding of the United States and in the formation of the western civilization;
(5) rejects bigotry and persecution directed against Christians, both in the United States and worldwide; and
(6) expresses its deepest respect to American Christians and Christians throughout the world."

Cloned cats that glow in the dark

CLICK HERE FOR STORY. (im having trouble chopping it up to post it here, plus its not really that great of a read, glow in the dark cats, you dont need to know much more.)

OLBERMANN KEEPING IT BEYOND REAL

DRUNK FILES

This seems brilliant to me right now.

DEPRESSED HELL - 45, LOVING LIFE - 0

The Vegas spread is: Loving Life +38..

DRUNK BLOGGING.

The thing is, when you're drunk, you think everything you're saying is really clever, and funny and profound. But the next day, everyone at work tells you all about the stupid-ass shit you were doing and it doesn't seem very cool at all. In fact, while you were thinking that you were being all Vince Vaughn suave motherfucker, the fact is you were simply making an ass of yourself. Do yourself a favor an just walk home before you do or say something that will haunt you forever. (Catch some lousy tags while You're at it)

NOMINEE FOR LOA's 'BEST FILMS OF ALL TIME' AWARD: BIG MOMMA'S HOUSE II

Watch as Martin Lawrence puts on the performance of his life in this masterpiece of American cinema.

NEW RUDY "AMERICAN PSYCHO" GIULIANI SCREENSAVER!

If you thought American democracy and the rule of law is in the fucking toilet now, get a load of the world of shit we're about to be in once Giuliani steals the election in '08... Seriously; did you think Bush/ Cheney etc. were gonna go out as the war criminals they have so vigorously made themselves to be? Why would they, when their boys at Diebold can rig another election for 'America's Mayor' il Duce' ? Martial Law here we come! (Click image to enlarge, and drag into the 'desktops' folder on your computer. Also, feel free to repost this image on your blog or website. Send it to a friend or 2.)

remember how exceited you were when you saw the trailer for Ratatouille?

well get ready to punch your balls off all over again!!

WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS!! (NFC NORTH)

To quote Kevin Garnett's soundbite from KFAN, "We Comin'! -We Comin'!!!" Packer Nation Holla back!

YA HEARD!??

Brett Favre's standout season for the resurgent Green Bay Packers has earned him the title of 2007 Sports Illustrated Sportsman of the Year, making him the fourth quarterback to win the award in its 53-year history. The 38-year-old Favre joins fellow quarterbacks Terry Bradshaw (1979), Joe Montana (1990) and Tom Brady (2005) as recipients of the award, given to an athlete who symbolizes the ideals of sportsmanship. Favre, a three-time NFL MVP, said in the cover story of the magazine's Dec. 10th issue that leadership is about finding ways to raise his team's level of play."You do that by setting an example, by doing things the right way. I've always shown up, I've always been prepared, I practice every day," Favre said. "I practice hard. I study. No matter what happens on the field, I never point blame at anybody else. Everything I do comes back to leadership, the example I want to set." Favre has started a quarterback-record 249 consecutive games, and this year surpassed Dan Marino for career touchdown passes and pass attempts. He is 450 yards away from breaking Marino's career record of 61,361 yards. Favre has had one of the best seasons of his 17-year career, completing 67.4 percent of his passes for 3,412 yards with 18 touchdowns and 10 interceptions. He's on pace to surpass his career marks in completion percentage, yards passing and fewest interceptions per attempts. The magazine also recognized Favre's history of philanthropy, including his Fourward Foundation that's donated more than $4 million to charities in Wisconsin and Mississippi and assisted Mississippi's Gulf Coast counties after Hurricane Katrina in 2005.

GHOSTRIDE THE WHIP DOUBLE FEATURE!!!

What could be more practical than getting outside of your car while it's still rolling, and dancing alongside of it? -I mean the benefits of doing this are self-evident. It should go without saying, I think this is something we should all participate in regularly.

HOLY FUCKING FUCK!!! -TAY ZONDAY -ALL DAY ERRY DAY!

Goddamn Tay Zonday's been killin' it in '07! This motherfucker's giving hope to creepy awkward people everywhere. -Keep doin' ya thing Chuddy-chud!!

Man cut off penis in pizza restaurant

Doctors desperately tried to re-attach a man's weiner after he burst into a crowded London restaurant on Sunday, dropped his trousers, and hacked his own johnson off in front of horrified diners. The man, thought to be Polish, ran into the Zizzi Italian restaurant on The Strand at about 9pm on Sunday night, when it was crowded with people who had been watching the London Marathon earlier in the day. Sales rep Stuart McMahon, who was eating at the restaurant with his girlfriend, told the Sun: 'This guy came running in then charged into the kitchen, got a massive knife and started waving it about. 'Everyone was screaming and running out as he jumped on a table, dropped his trousers and popped his dork out. 'Then he cut his wanger off. I couldn't believe it.' Restaurant staff called the police, who had to subdue the man with CS gas, before taking him to hospital. They also picked up the severed cock, put it on ice, and gave it to doctors. A spokesman for St Thomas's Hospital, where the man was taken, confirmed that doctors had attempted to re-attach the mans dick – but would not say if the procedure had been successful. It is thought to be the first time in Britain that a hog has been sewn back on, Police are still trying to identify the man, who was not carrying any form of identification on him. A source told The Sun: 'We believe he's Polish and 35. We don't know if he has a history of mental illness, but he's clearly not a well boy.'

ONLY THE GOOD (PIMPS) DIE YOUNG

LOS ANGELES, Dec 4 (Reuters Life!) - Texas Rapper Pimp C, a member of the chart-topping duo UGK, was found dead in a Los Angeles hotel room on Tuesday, TMZ.com reported.
The online news site said Los Angeles County Fire Dept. personnel discovered him in his bed at the Mondrian Hotel in West Hollywood after responding to a 911 call.
Pimp C, whose real name was Chad Butler, was 33, according to various news reports.UGK, in which Pimp C performed with Bun B (a.k.a. Bernard Freeman), topped the U.S. pop album charts in August with "Underground Kingz," its first entry on the survey in five years. Pimp C spent much of that time in prison, serving nearly four years for aggravated assault. He was paroled in 2005.

THANK GOD.

its official... another Bigfoot print has finally been found! this shit is FUCKING real!Read all about it on Cryptomundo BITCHES.

POUR OUT A LIL' TUSSIN FOR PIMP C...

God Hates Us All

Oh hi there internet, come on in out of the cold!! Warm up by the fire, get a hot cup of cocoa and enjoy this heartwarming bit of holiday cheer from the folks at Westboro Baptist Church.


http://view.break.com/278059 - Watch more free videos

LEMME-LEMME UPGRADE YA !!! (THE SEQUEL)

This must be seen to be believed. Watch it now, understand it in 2012.
If ya don't know, now ya know nigga

G.G. ALLIN DROPPING KNOWLEDGE AT A BOSTON-AREA UNIVERSITY

Bitches better RECOGNIZE!!!

fucking amateur!

does homeboy really think he can sustain six lightning bolt strikes and still keep battling!?! ha ha ha ha hah ahaha ooohhhh god. time to grow up buddy

FUCK YEAH!!

I don't care where you're at right now, or what you're doing; crank the speakers up as loud as they'll go and let's get this motherfucking party CRACKIN!! -That means you Cyborg! PUMP up the jam, pump it up, -yo pump it!!

JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT; -ON THE REBOUND!

Seriously, we like to joke around a lot here at LOA, but the issue of obesity is a serious health hazard facing many Americans these days; -so allow me to be the first one to salute Jennifer Love Hewitt in her efforts to rebound from her massive revolting weight gain. Your boy Snickerdoodles has got your back 110%-You GO guuuurl!! - (When you got that mid-90's Party 'O Five bod crackin again, hit me on my blackberry ; ) )

Tay Zonday has DONE IT AGAIN!!!!!1

no doubt you remember "Chocolate Rain" and "Cherry Chocolate Rain" and "Too Big For You" or many of his other #1 hits... well like i said in the title, Tay Zonday has DONE IT AGAIN!!!!!1 (and by done it again i mean "Tay Zonday did it again on July 27th 2007" but i didnt see it till now". whatever the case, this one hits so fucking close to home for me, its pretty much the new sound track to my life. sorry GG, you been replaced.

JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT UPDATE!

WOW! a few short weeks after T.H.L.A.T's previous J.L.H. post ,she's pretty much thrown in the towel on trying to keep her ass under controll. I guess... Do your thang big girl.

MAKING A CASE FOR GIVING CHILDREN THE RIGHT TO VOTE

Fucking Christ already... How is it humanly possible to be this goddamned stupid? I mean, I haven't operated on any brains lately, or engineered any rockets, but it's got to be sheer luck that a creature as dumb as this bitch can merely stay alive in spite of her own dim-wittedness. File under 'Un-Fucking-Believable'.

GO AND GET YOUR MONEY LIL' DUFFLEBAG BOY

You think I wont play this song 45 times in a row? Ask T.H.L.A.T., -Don't test me on this one.