i've never been so inspired in my life

i never thought a 40 second youtube clip could make me wanna get my life together like this is.

LAUREN LONDON UPDATE!

Pardon my couching this week's Lauren London update within a Pharrell video, but nevermind his skateboarding midget ass... Just keep your eyes on the prizz-ize. -Ya Hearddd??

SENSUAL SEDUCTION

Man, I dunno what kind of fucked up drugs snoop was on when he decided to make this song, but let's hope that he keeps taking them. T-Pain, watch ya back son!!

Sensual seduction, Snoop Dogg, drugs, pimping, Josh Lazcano

ISRAEL AND US FORIEGN POLICY

Can you say 'Proxy War'?

DICKMOUF

Um, Snickers and Jersey, since when did this blog turn into a corporate sponsored commercial funfest? I hope your checks from Direct TV and the FX Channel are fat. I knew you guys were making backroom internet deals. Shitsharks.
Heres some REAL blogging.

LEMME-LEMME UPGRADE YA!!!

I'll tell you what Beyonce... If you really want to 'Upgrade me', how's about you stop making music alltogether. Do the things that other non-singing pretty girls do: wear bikinis, have a shitty attitude, shop... -You know stuff like that. This might run the risk of sounding a little bit dick, but I gotta keep it real here; I think that every song that Beyonce has ever made is absolutely horrible. There is a difference between being able to sing well and being able to make a good song. Until you can figure the formula out, I'd think about making a run at Playboy. And for Christ's sake, no more Direct TV commercials. -I've experienced all the 'upgrading' I can stand for now...

It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia

I been watching this on DVD. This show is the shit!

is Jennifer Love Hewitt hot?

these are new photos. people are saying Jennifer let herself go... i know how i feel about these photos, what y'all thinkin'?

MOTHERFUCKING BACKBENDS...-YA HEARD!??

I wonder if there's a yoga pose that helps ease self-loathing?

German Science

"With our technology we could spray a condom on an erect elephant"

deeeeeee-licious!!

The New England Journal of Medicine has devoted part of its Thanksgiving issue to a giant hairball -- and not the feline kind. The prestigious journal details the case of a previously healthy 18-year-old woman who consulted a team of gastrointestinal specialists. She complained of a five-month history of pain and swelling in her abdomen, vomiting after eating and a 40-pound weight loss. After a scan of the woman's abdomen showed a large mass, doctors lowered a scope through her esophagus. It revealed "a large bezoar occluding nearly the entire stomach," wrote Drs. Ronald M. Levy and Srinadh Komanduri, gastroenterologists at Rush University Medical Center in Chicago, Illinois. For the uninitiated, a bezoar is a hairball. "On questioning, the patient stated that she had had a habit of eating her hair for many years -- a condition called trichophagia," they wrote. "It seemed like she'd been doing this for several years," Levy told CNN. The woman underwent surgery to remove the mass of black, curly hair, which weighed 10 pounds and measured 15 inches by 7 inches by 7 inches, the doctors said. Five days later, she was eating normally and was sent home. A year later, the pain and vomiting were gone, the patient had regained 20 pounds "and reports that she has stopped eating her hair."

just think how rad it would be had i found out abut this yesterday and posted it JUST as you gave LOA one last look before sitting down to your thanksgiving day feast!! i really dropped the (hair) ball on that one. but really, thanksgiving or not, this is gonna ruin anything you eat for like the next month.

nice shot ProjectMatt!

all new C.H.U.D. desktop wall paper!!

The views expressed in this desktop wall paper are solely those of T.H.L.A.T. and do not reflect the views of Snickerdoodles McPoppycock or anyone else that posts on LOA.

Click on the image to enlarge and then drag it into your computer's 'desktops' folder.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

Thanksgiving is such a lovely holiday; It celebrates the Indians' hospitality and generosity in keeping the Pilgrims from starving to death, and returns the favor with an all-out genocide and religious crusade. Hooray for that!... -I know to some of you that sounds a little bit uncool, but trust me on this one,-Jesus signed off on it.. -so it's all good. I can't wait til they make a new national holiday celebrating the current ongoing Republican crusade against poor people and the middle class. -It's gonna be amazing!
(Good looking out Young Arien)

Do yourself a kindness and watch this...

"SMELL YO DICK" -THE SMASH HIT SINGLE!

Apparently, this is what music has come to... We went from Marvin Gaye and Curtis Mayfield to "Smell Yo Dick"... Enjoy! (I think?)
(Big ups John from Myspace!)

KID'S GOT MAD HOPS!

I stole this clip from a The Loss Prevention blog. Check it out and visit often.

GET UP, GET OUT, AND INVENT A NEW TOILET BOWL OR SOMETHING...

This will be one of the funniest / dumbest things you'll ever hear. Tell me I'm wrong..."REAL HYGENE TALK WITH GHOSTFACE"

MIDNIGHT MARAUDERS

You'd be hard-pressed to find a much better song/ group/ video than this, -peep gameboy:

Also peep this live version; So fucking dope!

MR. NASTY RAPS' BLOG! -AS PUFFY WOULD SAY: "YOUR DREAMS HAVE NOW BEEN FULFILLED!"

Peep Esteemed colleague/ LOA O.G. Blogger Mr. Nasty Raps' brand "New Blog"where you will be able to feast thine eyes on delectable YouTube jems such as this.: Homeboy is a blogging LEGEND!! -Love him or leave him alone...

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME MOTHERFUCKING DIVISION 3 FOOTBALL!!!??

Despite this being some bullshit half-assed college football, this clip is pretty dope. These commentators really know how to get it krunk, -Listen for when the 2nd announcer says "ohhh goddd.." after they score. -I think he literally ejaculated, judging by the sound of his voice.
(I found this clip on the manoeuvre bored blog. Check it out -shit's jamming over there!)

POOCH PUNT??..-NAH SON, WE AINT HAVIN IT!

If you think the Pack is gonna fall for the okee-doke, you're trippin holmes...The Pack is back, -Don't get it twisted.

BEOWULF

I've never read the book, so I'm not positive; but from what I've gathered thus far, Beowulf is a story about Angelina Jolie's digitally enhanced breasts.

HOT ASIAN GIRL DuJOUR: MIKIE HARA

I BET I COULD OUTLAST ANY ONE OF THESE GIRLS

I know we've said on here before that some clips we've posted are the best thing that the internet has ever offered. But seriously, I really don't think I'm exaggerating this time (porn not included). Just sit back and try to not let the 8 boners you're about to pop hit you in the chin.

REAL TALK.

STOP USING SEX AS A WEAPON! THE BONADUCE ASSULT CASE.

Closed circuit to Jonny Fairplay, -You don't want Danny B. to retaliate for real. He might wrap his musclebound cock around your windpipe and choke you out... (He's a grower, not a show-er)

RECOGNIZE GAME...-NO I AM SERIOUS; -REGOGNIZE IT!

MOVE OVER SOULJA BOY! -There's a new sherriff in town! -GET IT SHAWTY!. (good lookin' out John)

BEAR GRYLLS IS STILL A SURVIVOR

We interrupt Danny Bonaduce week to bring you this clip of Bear Grylls keeping shit really real one more time. You might remember a while back I posted a clip of him showing how to hydrate yourself in the wild.

Well this time, he shows us how to shelter ourselves in a sandstorm, Luke Skywalker style. The original Luke Skywalker, not Uncle Luke.

BONADUCE WEEK RAGES ON! -ACT LIKE YA KNOW BITCH!!

Peep game young Chuddstas... When LOA throws a Bonaduce week, we don't half step -Ya Heardd?? We bring the raw uncut Danny 'Brown Magic©' Bonaduce to your collective chestpiece. LOA's very own Black Squirrel Alliance, choppin it up with Danny B: Welcome to the good life...

AND THE WINNER OF THE 'GOLDEN GLOBES' AWARD GOES TO...

It's Bonaduce week (and everybody's celebratin')

SOMEBODY MAKE THESE TWO FIGHT!

On one hand you got Bonaduce, a raging drug addict, alchoholic, roid-raging psychopath; and on the other hand you got Carrot Top. I'm not exactly sure what his problem is, but both these motherfuckers are total goofballs. Oh man, what I wouldn't give to see these 2 firecrotched freaks duke it out mano y mano, to the death! Somebody get in touch with Pay-Per-View, and let's make this happen!! I wonder who the Vegas oddsmakers would give the advantage to? Personally, I think you gotta give Bonaduce the edge, simply because he's just so fucking nuts... What do you guys think?

ATTENTION LADIES, BONADUCE WEEK IS IN FULL MUTHAFUCKIN E-F-F-E-C-T!!!

YO! LOA isn't the ol' boys' club anymore! -Make way for the new improved Ladies Night at Club Apathy -PARTY OVER HERE! -OOH!-OOOH! That's right ladies, feast your eyes on this fine-ass specimen of a man. Go ahead -You know you want it! -GET IT SHAWTY!!

(Good lookin' out J-Mart)

AWWW SNAP! -DON'T MAKE ME DECLARE A FULL-BLOWN DANNY BONADUCE WEEK ON Y'ALL!

Showing you more clips of Bonaduce being a complete deusch-bag is kind of redundant at this point. It's sort of just running up the score (like the Packers/ Vikings 34-0 tilt this Sunday), but nonetheless, his life spiraling into mania is like a car wreck you simply cannot peel your eyes away from. -Enjoy!

Danny Bonaduce Kicks Ass!!

Let me just set this post up by letting all y'all out in internet land know that im posting via an RV driving from SD to Washington, satellite internet connection, thats how we motherfunky roll at LOA.

ok, Danny Bonaduce Kicks Ass!! well not really, he sucks as bad as he ever did, BUT... and you may have seen this already, guess its a few months old, but watch him demolish Jonny Fairplays face!! not only does he smash homeboys head in, but the way he struts his stuff after?! what a FUCKING baller!! also, finishing it all off with a peace sign... classy!


thanks Lance

BRETT FAVRE VIDEO GAME MOONWALK

BRING BACK TICE!

I feel bad for the Vikings fans; really I do. Personally, I've always hated the Vikings; but I at least want them to be competitive. I mean it's a lot more fun ripping their hearts out on a freakish overtime play to Antonio Freeman, when there's actually something at stake. Now it's just like, "Ho hum... wake me up when Favre breaks another NFL record." I mean Jeezus; It would almost make a Vikes fan long for the glory days of Mike Tice... When the squad could maybe go 8-8 -or even 9-7. Please join me in this tear-jerking walk down Vikings memory lane... Enjoy!

A modern classic remade

TIGHT RED PANTS

The "best" part is the aftershock.

Can't they just do crystal meth like normal kids?

No, apparently kids have resorted to inhaling fermented sewage.(Click image to enlarge)

A JOURNEY INTO JENKEM; PICKWICK'S MAGICAL VOYAGE INTO THE FECAL REALM

Well today I finally did it. I became probably the first person in America to huff his own shit gas. No video though, sorry, no camera. I hope you are not too disappointed. I could bet pictures though and I wrote a trip report.
Today the bubbles had mostly stopped. The balloon had possibly grown a little bit since last time but it was oblong from days in the sun or maybe from the gases inside so it was hard to tell. The shit in the bottle was very settled and did not look like shit anymore even.
I first lightly shook the bottle to make sure all of the bubbles had popped. I then pinched off the balloon and took it off of the top. I held that while I huffed from the bottle. After exhaling all air from my lungs I took my straw and inhaled from the inside of the bottle. The flavor of shit struck me, it stuck to the tongue like the flavor after smoking a cigar. My body wanted me to stop breathing it but I kept going by putting the end of the straw further back in my mouth, behind my tongue. I took a some more breaths of that and I waited a few seconds, then inhaled the balloon. The balloon was less harsh, I could barely taste any of it and it felt like breathing oxygen.
After breathing it in I immediately felt that I was passing out. I did not even have time to spit before I became unconscious. When I woke up my spittle had oozed out of my mouth and down my chin. I asked my friend how long I was out for. He said for about a minute, and that he had repeatedly tried to wake me but I would not wake up. During this short conversation I began to feel light dissociative effects come over me, accompanied by buzzing in my ears. The feeling got stronger and stronger until I felt like I was in a dream. This was somewhat enjoyable, it made me feel like nothing really mattered. The apathy actually made the rest of the trip more enjoyable.
After I was fully into the dream like state visual hallucinations began to start. I had fleeting visions of people who seemed completely random, like my second grade teacher. I would say something to the person and then he or she would disappear. Normally I would be fearful of trips like this but the dream feeling made it almost fun. Hearing was dulled during the trip, I could only hear what I was saying and some random noises like screeching and car noises. After I the effects wore off my friend told me that I was mostly talking in gibberish so I guess I couldn't hear my own voice anything in the outside world throughout the trip. At the peak of the trip I saw things like pillars in my lawn that disappeared and shapes in the sky. My sense of time was slowed, so the whole trip felt like it was shorter than it was.
The comedown was mostly auditory hallucinations, like voices and loud cracks. The dream like feeling lessened and I drifted back into reality. In the last parts of the trip I became paranoid from the noises because it felt real instead of like a dream. I asked my friend how long it had been. He said about 40 minutes. He also told me that I spent long periods of time staring at different spots. I also, according to him, spoke slurred works to trees and rocks. I was very surprised by how messed up the jenkem got me. That was higher than I have ever been. Other drugs distort reality, but jenkem really distorts reality. I was almost completely unaware of my surroundings. My friend said that seeing me was scary and he was thinking of getting an adult. Thank god he didn't do that.
In conclusion: was it enjoyable: no, not really. Would I do it again? Defiantly not. Would I recommend another person to try it? I wouldn't to anyone who I am close to. If you are very adventurous and would try anything then I guess you should try jenkem. But know that the preparation is not made worthwhile by the trip.

(Read the whole story in it's entirety at totse.com)

YOU KNOW MY (new) STEEEZ!!

YO! -I'm calling it now! -Biters step the fuck off. I'm bringing the Andre Agassi circa 1900 steez back!-(and inadvertantly/ simultaneously bringing sexy back as well). All you dirtbag ironic hipsters get off my nuts. Just step aside and turn green with envy as I glide up in the club with my moussed-up frosted mop of shit skraggling down my shoulders.

WHAT YOU KNOW ABOUT STACKING AND UNSTACKING CUPS REAL FAST?

Bitches love it when you can do stuff like this... -trust me ; )

I AINT SAYIN' SHE'S A GOLDDIGGER; BUT SHE AINT MESSIN WITH NO BROKE NIGGA...

On second thought, I AM saying that... Fuck that one-legged skeezbag. How about getting a motherfucking J-O-B instead of milking homeboy out of all his loot? Let this be fair warning to you Jay-Z... -M.O.B. (stick to the script)
Paul McCartney will give his estranged wife Heather Mills a $235 million divorce package to safeguard his health, according to a British newspaper. The News of the World reports the former Beatle was urged to agree the deal by his daughters Stella and Mary because they are concerned the bitter divorce battle is affecting his well-being. The siblings reportedly told their father, "If this goes on, it could kill you. Being happy is more important than money." The newspaper claims McCartney will publicly give his estranged wife a mere $19.5 million, most of which she'll donate to charity. But she'll actually secure an enormous secret package including $5.9 million a year as a divorce settlement, $15.7 million to buy homes in America and Europe, $5.9 million for English accommodation and more than $3.9 million a year for staff and general expenses for the next 15 years. One of McCartney's aides tells the newspaper, "It's a done deal and Paul is relieved."

STRAIGHT FROM THE STREETS; A NEW SOULJA BOY VIDEO!!

(and by 'streets' I mean the dance studio at the Laguna Beach Jewish Community Center)(Good lookin out Black Squirrel Alliance!)

LAUREN LONDON UPDATE!!

So far I have nothing new to report about Lauren London. However, if something comes up, I'll let you know.

HOORAY!! A NEW LORDS OF APATHY DESKTOP TO CELEBRATE 100,00 HITS!

Although it went virtually unnoticed about a week or so ago, Lords of Apathy had it's 100,000th hit, -a major milestone in the exciting world of blogging. As a small token of my appreciation to all of our faithful readers, please accept this uplifting and inspiring LOA screensaver. It is a surefire way to brighten up any boring computer desktop. Click on the image to enlarge and then drag it into your computer's 'desktops' folder... Enjoy it, I guess...

HEY, CHECK THIS OUT!

If you're not a total pussy, watch what this dude squeezes out of his chin from a spider bite. -You'll love it!

who else seen the leprechaun say "YEAH!"

Turtle Power

For a second, I actually believed I was watching Michalangelo.

WILLIAM SPENCER

This dude seriously knows how to 'gleam the cube'. Enjoy!

SWEET IRONY WITH DOG THE RACIST BOUNTY HUNTER

Wait... What kind of nigger is the kind of nigger that he doesn't like again? I think from now on, 'DOG's name should be spelled "D-A-W-G". -Just because that's the more ignorant way of spelling it.

FINGER BREAKDANCING

Oh man... This is so fucking ill!!! PLEASE -SOMEBODY -figure out how to do the 'finger soulja boy'.

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STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOIN', CUZ I'M ABOUT TO RUIN, THE IMAGE AND THE STYLE THAT YOU'RE USED TO.

This is the beauty of blogging summed up in a single post. This is the kind of thing the internet was made for... Peep Crack Smoking Gay Extravaganza and recognize what's really 'crackin'... (literally) (Good lookin' out Mr. Bendall!)