(and Michael Showalter)
August 30, 2008
August 29, 2008
August 27, 2008
August 25, 2008
POSSE CUT MONDAY
What better to exemplify a posse cut than the most famous posse cut ever, complete with a cowboy theme to lend a bit of authenticity for the word posse. Posse. I can't stop saying it.
Props to G. Rap and Craig G for bringing haberdashiary heat.
Props to G. Rap and Craig G for bringing haberdashiary heat.
August 24, 2008
August 22, 2008
WHO'S THE MAC?
Have you ever seen the movie 'Mac and Me'? Well, I haven't either; but based on these 2 clips and a recap from my friend, it seems to be absolutely dreadful... I guess this movie was bankrolled by McDonalds who was blatantly trying to cash in on the blockbuster 'E.T', by completely ripping off every aspect of it...-Shittily... Here's a scene in which an impromptu dance-off takes place at a McDonald's for no particular reason at all. One of the strangest, most flagrant product placements in film history.
This next one is the infamous wheelchair scene... Keep your eyes peeled for the most shitty green-screen editing of all time.. This shit is one for the ages... A fucking abomination.
This next one is the infamous wheelchair scene... Keep your eyes peeled for the most shitty green-screen editing of all time.. This shit is one for the ages... A fucking abomination.
MAC AND ME TRAILER RE-EDIT
I think somebody took a little artistic liscence with this one and remixed it so that it seems like it could be a horrifically scary B-movie, rather than the steaming pile if Ronald McDonald feces that it actually is.
JOHN McCAIN; FUCKING IDIOT
Jeezus Christ... It's insulting that this dude's even running for president, let alone has a good shot at winning it. Seriously people, spread the word about this lying cocksucker. If your friends or your parents are thinking about voting for him, please talk some sense into them... -Either that or tell them to become a CEO of a major international corporation, or an oil barron between now and the election.
August 21, 2008
August 20, 2008
Lion Mutilates 42 Midgets
Spectators cheered as entire Cambodian Midget Fighting League squared off against African Lion. Tickets had been sold-out three weeks before the much anticipated fight, which took place in the city of Kâmpóng Chhnãng. The fight was slated when an angry fan contested Yang Sihamoni, President of the CMFL, claiming that one lion could defeat his entire league of 42 fighters. Sihamoni takes great pride in the league he helped create, as was conveyed in his recent advertising campaign for the CMFL that stated his midgets will "... take on anything; man, beast, or machine." This campaign is believed to be what sparked the undisclosed fan to challenge the entire league to fight a lion; a challenge that Sihamoni readily accepted. An African Lion (Panthera Leo) was shipped to centrally located Kâmpóng Chhnãng especially for the event, which took place last Saturday, April 30, 2005 in the city’s coliseum. The Cambodian Government allowed the fight to take place, under the condition that they receive a 50% commission on each ticket sold, and that no cameras would be allowed in the arena. The fight was called in only 12 minutes, after which 28 fighters were declared dead, while the other 14 suffered severe injuries including broken bones and lost limbs, rendering them unable to fight back. Sihamoni was quoted before the fight stating that he felt since his fighters out-numbered the lion 42 to 1, that they “… could out-wit and out-muscle [it].”Unfortunately, he was wrong.
PUSHING MAD WEIGHT SON...
WARNING! THIS STORY IS ABOUT TO BE FUCKING GROSS! (Click on photo to enlarge)...
The rather shocking photo attached snapped in November 16th of last year by a spectator at the collegiate power lifting championships at Penn State. The unfortunate competitor, who expressed a plea to remain anonymous, remembered to surgeons that he was " stuck" at the bottom of a personal best attempt in the squat lift when he "sort of pulled his stomach in and pushed extra hard, at the same time as trying to complete the lift."
He remembers a loud popping, splattering noise then a fierce stabbing pain and then not being able to move from the squat position. He remained in this position for about half an hour, since trying to stand caused him overwhelming agonizing pain. Paramedics arrived and applied anesthesia on the spot and carried him to an ambulance. He was rushed to surgery, where surgeons described the trauma as an explosive and aggravated prolapse of the bowel". Meanwhile it was revealed that the weight was removed from his shoulders at the time of the incident by two "spotters" on either side of the lifter. The third spotter who was standing behind the lifter was unfortunately sprayed with fecal matter at the time of the incident. This spotter promptly fainted when he realized the extent of of the injury to the lifter, who was a personal friend.
This compounded the task of first aid officers who were at a loss as to how to treat the injury to the lifter in any case, who remained in the squatting position moaning in pain much to the consternation of the helpless audience. The hapless lifter had successful surgery to relieve the prolapse, but remained immobilized with his feet elevated in stirrups for 2 weeks to ensure "internal compliance with the surgery and that the organs retracted successfully".
To add insult to injury, the ex-lifter required rectal stitching to partially occlude the anal orifice and stitch the rectal passage (which had significantly expanded and torn during the prolapse) and also was put on a low fiber low residue diet to combat flatulence to avoid any possibility of a recurrence.
The rather shocking photo attached snapped in November 16th of last year by a spectator at the collegiate power lifting championships at Penn State. The unfortunate competitor, who expressed a plea to remain anonymous, remembered to surgeons that he was " stuck" at the bottom of a personal best attempt in the squat lift when he "sort of pulled his stomach in and pushed extra hard, at the same time as trying to complete the lift."He remembers a loud popping, splattering noise then a fierce stabbing pain and then not being able to move from the squat position. He remained in this position for about half an hour, since trying to stand caused him overwhelming agonizing pain. Paramedics arrived and applied anesthesia on the spot and carried him to an ambulance. He was rushed to surgery, where surgeons described the trauma as an explosive and aggravated prolapse of the bowel". Meanwhile it was revealed that the weight was removed from his shoulders at the time of the incident by two "spotters" on either side of the lifter. The third spotter who was standing behind the lifter was unfortunately sprayed with fecal matter at the time of the incident. This spotter promptly fainted when he realized the extent of of the injury to the lifter, who was a personal friend.
This compounded the task of first aid officers who were at a loss as to how to treat the injury to the lifter in any case, who remained in the squatting position moaning in pain much to the consternation of the helpless audience. The hapless lifter had successful surgery to relieve the prolapse, but remained immobilized with his feet elevated in stirrups for 2 weeks to ensure "internal compliance with the surgery and that the organs retracted successfully".
To add insult to injury, the ex-lifter required rectal stitching to partially occlude the anal orifice and stitch the rectal passage (which had significantly expanded and torn during the prolapse) and also was put on a low fiber low residue diet to combat flatulence to avoid any possibility of a recurrence.
SOMEBODY GET AT ME WITH A PAIR OF THESE A.S.A.P. YA HEARD!?
Talk about fucking AWESOME! I mean some shoes got wheels,
some got ipods, some got lights n shit. But these, these come
with the truth! Just look at all that style AND knowledge.
Not since Kid and Play has fashions looked this on point.
And you cant put a price on street cred, people.
Frankly, Amazing.
ADOLESCENT RAKE-MOUTH'S MESSAGE TO THE HATERS
God this kid is phenomenal... A real asset to humanity. (Jacked from Loss Prevention, visit religiously)
HOT AIRBRUSHED T-SHIRT DuJOUR
This thing is hitting on so many levels... -The Kels reference, the off-centered 'talk', the crappy drop shadow... Man, this is an amazing t-shirt.
August 18, 2008
LOA Olym-pocalypse!!!
Fuck, am I the first one to post up some 'lympics?!! If you can watch all 8 minutes and 53 seconds of this you deserve your own medal made out of fat girls and bb guns.
August 17, 2008
August 14, 2008
SCRAPER BIKE
i think i saw this "SCRAPER BIKE" movement in its early stages last time i was in Minneapolis...
August 13, 2008
A cat, A dwarf , A face plant... classic "To Catch A Predator" moments!
Seriously, you are familiar with "To Catch A Predator" right? I've seen the show a number of times and as good/creepy as i thought it was, turns out i had only seen the tip of the iceberg. so pop up some pop corn and grab a few cold ones, you are in for a treat!
see more here.
see more here.
MORE CREEPY JAPANESE SHIT.
It's no secret, that the Japanese are in my top 3 races of people. Wether it's their hot-ass gravure models, their cute babies, their technology, or their absolute morbid sense of sexual deviancy, the Japanese have a little something for everybody... In this case it's inventing a robot that doesn't tolerate sexual harassment. You can only imagine the countless way's people are getting creepy with this shit. Enjoy:
August 12, 2008
LOA SALUTES LT. FRANK DREBIN POLICE SQUAD!
I know "fuck the police" is standard issue for us rebel yoots.
But I'd like to take a second and take stock of some of the work
being done out there in the streets, alley ways and ball parks in
America. Specifically highlight some of the undercover work of one
Lieutenant Frank Drebin.
But I'd like to take a second and take stock of some of the work
being done out there in the streets, alley ways and ball parks in
America. Specifically highlight some of the undercover work of one
Lieutenant Frank Drebin.
August 11, 2008
THE 'LIL BOW-WOW' OF JESUS...
I don't need many more reasons to not go to church...-but here's one. I think those Norwegian Black Metal dudes might be on to something.
MARJOE GORTNER THE PENTECOSTAL CHILD PREACHER
Goddamn these child preachers are so hot right now! Recognize the realness.....
August 10, 2008
Cheer Up.
Even though this football season might bring you nothing but heartache and confusion, rest assured that Herbie Hancock used to make fucking awesome music.
August 7, 2008
BRING ME THE HEAD OF TED THOMPSON...
DENIAL... That's what I've been in for the past month trying to come to terms with this whole Packers/ Favre DEBACLE. This is so depressing and surreal... It's like watching a video of your girlfriend fuck your arch-enemy (well not 'ARCH' enemy (I.E. Vikings), but regular enemy (I.E. Jets) in super-slow-mo...-And all because Ted Thompson made it happen. Suck my Balls Ted Thompson.
August 6, 2008
Montauk Monster Endorses Obama
I don't know how many of you have been following this:
In an unexpected development, the Obama campaign picked up the endorsement of a political powerhouse yesterday. The Montauk Monster joined Obama on stage at a campaign rally in Boston, MA to announce it's support for the Illinois Senator's presidential bid.
"Barack Obama will make a great and historic president," Montauk Monster said, Obama standing at his side. "[It] is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for our nation and you are a once-in-a-lifetime leader."
Obama said, "I am extraordinarily grateful to have the support of one of the great public curiosities of our time."
Plans for another joint appearance for the two later this week have sparked speculation about a possible VP announcement. A source close to the campaign said Monday,"at this point it's really between Montauk Monster and Indiana senator Evan Bayh."
In an unexpected development, the Obama campaign picked up the endorsement of a political powerhouse yesterday. The Montauk Monster joined Obama on stage at a campaign rally in Boston, MA to announce it's support for the Illinois Senator's presidential bid.
"Barack Obama will make a great and historic president," Montauk Monster said, Obama standing at his side. "[It] is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for our nation and you are a once-in-a-lifetime leader."
Obama said, "I am extraordinarily grateful to have the support of one of the great public curiosities of our time."
Plans for another joint appearance for the two later this week have sparked speculation about a possible VP announcement. A source close to the campaign said Monday,"at this point it's really between Montauk Monster and Indiana senator Evan Bayh."
I CAN FEEL IT COMING IN THE AIR TONIGHT...
You guessed it people... CHILD PREACHERS WEEK! It's coming people! -Brace yourselves!!!
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST...
There's just so much wrong with this, it's hard to even know where to begin... But as promised, 'CHILD PREACHERS WEEK©' rages on!!
WHEN WILL YOU WORSHIP?
According to this kid, I believe it will be on "Sundee"...-Whatever-the-fuck day that is.
LOA HEALTH AND FITNESS FORUM
You pound out three miles on the treadmill. You work your way through a series of weightlifting exercises. You even add some time on the stationary bike for good measure — and you smile with satisfaction that you made it through your workout. Nothing to do now but hit the shower. Not so fast. Did you consider stretching those muscles that pulled you through your invigorating workout? Most aerobic and strength training programs inherently cause your muscles to contract and flex. For equal balance, pay attention to stretching those muscles after your workout.
/>Benefits of stretching:
•Regular stretching is a powerful part of any exercise program. Stretching increases flexibility. Flexible muscles can improve your daily performance. Tasks such as lifting packages, bending to tie your shoes or hurrying to catch a bus become easier and less tiring.
•Stretching improves range of motion of your joints. Good range of motion keeps you in better balance, which will help keep you mobile and less prone to injury from falls — especially as you age.
•Stretching improves circulation. Stretching increases blood flow to your muscles. Improved circulation can speed recovery after muscle injuries.
•Stretching promotes better posture. Frequent stretching keeps your muscles from getting tight, allowing you to maintain proper posture and minimize aches and pains.
•Stretching can relieve stress. Stretching relaxes the tense muscles that often accompany stress.
•Stretching may help prevent injury. Preparing your muscles and joints for activity can protect you from injury, especially if your muscles or joints are tight.
/>Benefits of stretching:
•Regular stretching is a powerful part of any exercise program. Stretching increases flexibility. Flexible muscles can improve your daily performance. Tasks such as lifting packages, bending to tie your shoes or hurrying to catch a bus become easier and less tiring.
•Stretching improves range of motion of your joints. Good range of motion keeps you in better balance, which will help keep you mobile and less prone to injury from falls — especially as you age.
•Stretching improves circulation. Stretching increases blood flow to your muscles. Improved circulation can speed recovery after muscle injuries.
•Stretching promotes better posture. Frequent stretching keeps your muscles from getting tight, allowing you to maintain proper posture and minimize aches and pains.
•Stretching can relieve stress. Stretching relaxes the tense muscles that often accompany stress.
•Stretching may help prevent injury. Preparing your muscles and joints for activity can protect you from injury, especially if your muscles or joints are tight.
August 4, 2008
Bizarre Creature Washes Up On N.Y. Shore
NEW YORK -- Is it real or is it a hoax? That's what many are asking after the corpse of a bizarre-looking creature with a dinosaur-like beak washed up on a Long Island shore this week. A tipster told Gawker.com that there is "a government animal testing facility very close by" where the creature washed ashore. But government biologists contacted by Hamptons-based Web site Plum said after looking at the pictures that "no such creature exists," according to Gawker. The woman who took the photo of the creature's corpse on the shore, along with two others who claim to have seen the "Montauk Monster," will appear on Plum's Web show to discuss the sighting. While neighboring towns are abuzz with talk of the creature -- is it a sea turtle? a rodent? a dog? -- no one knows for sure. Those who claim to have seen it told Newsday they were "shocked and amazed." And if it were a real animal, one county executive said, it could make some money as an attraction. "If this could be certified as the Suffolk version of the Loch Ness monster, we'd sell tickets and get a lot of revenue," County Executive Steve Levy told Newsday.
August 3, 2008
CHUD OR NO CHUD?: KATE WINSLET EDITION
Welcome to round 2 of LOA's award-winning (/Josh Lazcano's favorite) gameshow 'Chud or No Chud'!! Based on the amount of responses left in the comments section of the last installment of 'Chud or No Chud', it proved to be one of LOA's most popular posts ever! In fact, the only other post to receive more comments was the one about Sanjaya's sister.
Basically, the point of this game is to try to separate the chuds from the non-chuds. For those of you who need a refresher on what the definition of a true chud is; -a 'chud' is a woman that is of questionable attractiveness, but despite her obvious physical flaws, you'd still be down to bone. The main determinant factor in a woman being a chud is not based on her perceived attractiveness, but rather, how ashamed you'd be to admit it to your friends. In this competition, you have to try to remove the 'famous factor' from the equation and evaluate her physical chudworthiness on it's own merits.
(Click image to enlarge)
A few rules for your evaluation:
The chud-spectrum breaks down into 3 general categories: 1.Hot 2.Chud, and 3.Sub-Chud
• The Hot category is a no-brainer. Everyone and their dad would hit it. -Think Rosario Dawson.
• In the Chud category, there's a glimmer of something there. You can't quite put your finger on what it is, but most likely you'd put your dick on what it is...-provided that shit stays on Downlow. -Think Christina Ricci.
• Sub-Chud is pretty self explanatory; It's not happening...-EVER. No way, no how. -Think Kelly Osbourne.
In the Comments section below, please leave your stance on where you think Kate Winslet falls on the chud-spectrum and site reasons for your decision. We will be scientifically compiling this data to come up with the official verdict as to weather or not she is indeed a chud or not. Good luck contestants!!
Basically, the point of this game is to try to separate the chuds from the non-chuds. For those of you who need a refresher on what the definition of a true chud is; -a 'chud' is a woman that is of questionable attractiveness, but despite her obvious physical flaws, you'd still be down to bone. The main determinant factor in a woman being a chud is not based on her perceived attractiveness, but rather, how ashamed you'd be to admit it to your friends. In this competition, you have to try to remove the 'famous factor' from the equation and evaluate her physical chudworthiness on it's own merits.
(Click image to enlarge)A few rules for your evaluation:
The chud-spectrum breaks down into 3 general categories: 1.Hot 2.Chud, and 3.Sub-Chud
• The Hot category is a no-brainer. Everyone and their dad would hit it. -Think Rosario Dawson.
• In the Chud category, there's a glimmer of something there. You can't quite put your finger on what it is, but most likely you'd put your dick on what it is...-provided that shit stays on Downlow. -Think Christina Ricci.
• Sub-Chud is pretty self explanatory; It's not happening...-EVER. No way, no how. -Think Kelly Osbourne.
In the Comments section below, please leave your stance on where you think Kate Winslet falls on the chud-spectrum and site reasons for your decision. We will be scientifically compiling this data to come up with the official verdict as to weather or not she is indeed a chud or not. Good luck contestants!!
August 2, 2008
Club Music Romance pt. 2
Woman cheats on husband. Husband sells wife's rave record collection on eBay, sees online auction as appropriate forum to put wife on blast and showcase his complete meltdown.
BEAR WITNESS.
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