LOA JAMZ!: STRAY CAT STRUT

I remember seeing this video on MTV back in the day (When MTV actually played music). It was a pretty dope considering at that time (around '84, '85-ish), rockabilly music was completely off the radar and it preceded this most recent wave of LA hipster poseur douchebag rockabilly dorks by about 15 or 20 years. I still think that if you're a white dude or a mexican, the best haircut you can get is a pompadour. Just don't go too crazy with the whole James Dean/ western shirt/ belt buckle motif. -Shit is mad weak son.

Stray Cats - Stray Cat Strut
Uploaded by PigLips. - Sitcom, sketch, and standup comedy videos.

TMA "BONUS ROUND" Video Review

Last week, the American Film Institute released its list of the 100 best American films of all time. Not surprisingly, the Tiltmode Armys "BONUS ROUND" placed in the Top 10 (#4, in fact).

However, although this epic skateboard melodrama is undoubtedly one of the most popular and beloved videos ever to grace the plasma screen, it is also arguably the most underrated. "BONUS ROUND" is a very good movie, perhaps bordering on being called something MORE than a masterpiece, the key elements are the subject matter and running time (which, including the B-SIDE and 2nd DVD containing the entire library of everything Tiltmode related is easily 120 minutes longer and most any amount of T.V. a person should watch in one sitting) that elevate "BONUS ROUND" to at least masterpiece status. As for its high placing on the AFI's list... it is the only non-travesty on that roster, as well as one of the most obvious choices.

ORDER "BONUS ROUND" NOW!!!!!1 ;)

MULTI-TASKING MONDAYS

This video contains two of my favorite things: solving rubics cubes and wasting time. This kid is sick with it. Don't sweat the technique!:

DISGUSTING... (not) CONVERTING AN INDIAN TO CHRISTIANITY

I think all religions are pretty silly, but there's a big difference between silly and fucking appalling. Watch as these two pompous asshole Christian bitches try to put the fire and brimstone bumrush on their Indian friend. I mean seriously, if I was that Indian girl, I'd have told them both to go suck Jesus' dick. Hail satan.

FUCK BRETT FAVRE

Brett Favre is dead to me.
Instead of referring to Benedict Arnold when referencing the slimiest of traitors, please use the term "pulling a Brett Favre" from now on. I waited for a few weeks to even acknowledge this sonofabitch because I figured the odds of him (re-re-re)retiring (again) were high enough where I might not even need to waste my breath on his trifling ass. But it looks like he's actually going through with it; doing the unthinkable...-the unspeakable... -the unforgivable!! -Playing for the loathsome division rival Minnesota Vikings. Talk about a sellout. I know the guy wants to play, and I don't begrudge him that... But the Vikings?? Seriously; come on dude... -The vikings... -Really?
Here's to you setting the league record for most interceptions in one season, and leading the Vikes to their worst record ever...

Eat shit and die asshole.

WHAT'S CRACKIN SHORTY?

I'm not positive, but I think this might be my friend Nancy getting her pint-sized Lord Vader on.

"HOLLA ATCHA WHEN I COME OFF TOUR"

One of the most conceptually brilliant rap songs ever. Best believe the term "red dot or feather?" has been in heavy rotation ever since.

THE REALEST WEDDING EVER

If you've ever wondered what a wedding in the Matrix looks like, you're in luck; -check out how these two gothic lovebirds are putting it down on the matrimony tip. Josh Lazcano -eat your heart out!









(Click images to enlarge the romance)

REST IN PEACE EDWARD KENNEDY

HOT CHRISTIAN PASTOR DuJOUR: STEVEN ANDERSON

Everyone brace yourselves here; this will disgust the shit out of you. The hatred is so thick you can cut it with a sharpened crucifix. A new low for humanity.

DMD's Song of the Month

At a certain point in my life, you couldn't tell me anything but Mobb Deep. I wore out the "Shook Ones" cassingle in my Sony Sports Walkman. Later on, I had a brief "fuck Tupac" phase (now more just "Tupac is overrated") that principally involved playing a lot of "Drop a Gem On Em." I was such a fan that you would think I would have been happy to run into them on the street. Instead, I saw that they were each 4 feet tall, wearing matching blue leather hockey jerseys in the summer and kicking a smashed Coke can around like a soccer ball. Having built these guys up as the pinnacle of hardcore hip hop, this was the lamest display I could have possibly seen. Soon after, Mobb Deep was shooting videos in their boxers and rapping with D-listers like Karate Joe and Ty Nitti. My interest in them pretty much ran its course. Flash forward to 2009 and Havoc has cranked out one of the best songs of the year. While I can't co-sign the low-rent Gap holiday publicity still seen above, the song is DMD approved.

UPDATE: Shout out to the homie Cap D for identifying the original sample here.

TUBE TOP TUESDAY! (It's a celebration y'all!)

YO!, How come more girls aren't rocking tube tops these days? I dont know if everyone is on the same page with me here, but in my mind, tube tops are the uniform of progress. They're like an oversized armband for your whole torso. So seriously, lets get it in gear ladies...Send all of your Tube Top submissions and querries to: lordsofapathy@gmail.com

ISAAC HAYES

Back in the day before almost all music was absolutely terrible... He's dressing his ass off here also. Recognize the realness (Stolen from Sista Nancy)

EAST COAST / WEST COAST BEEF

FUCKING AWESOME!

Tarantino KILLED it! Go see it immediately.

MY WINKERS™ GAME IS AIRTIGHT..

These are just a few of my original designs that have already gone into production, but I'm about to really change the game in the action graphic extreme pants™ (patent pending) industry. My latest line is gonna have 2 sideways asses silkscreened on the back of the thighs so when you walk, the ass cheeks will rhythmically spread and contract, alternately revealing their respective embroidered assholes. If you were thinking about ripping me off on this one, don't even bother; -I just dropped off my paperwork at the Patent office this morning so SUCK IT Jonny-Come-Lately!!
(good looking out Josh Lazcano)

HOT LATINA GIRL DuJOUR: ROSA ACOSTA

I Honestly believe that this might be the best thing I've ever seen-in the world-of all time*. Good looking out person who shall remain nameless for fear his girlfriend reads the blog. (*Footnote: I reserve the right to declare a new 'best thing ever' at any given moment in time)

DENGUE FEVER LIVE! -ACT LIKE YA KNOW

SO RULING!

STOP BULLSHITTING

"The public option is not the entirety of healthcare reform. This is just one sliver of it, one aspect of it."
Come on dude, -are you serious?? Without the public option, all we will have is just a slightly different version of the completely fucked-up healthcare system we've got now. So in the interest of real talk, please Obama, stop bullshitting us with that nonsense and demand that we have a strong public option.

JOHN AND KATE PLUS 8 –by Jay Money

Every time I’m in the checkout aisle at the grocery store I see all these magazines talking about some couple named Jon and Kate. The chick’s white and real basic looking—not fine or nothing. And the dude is half-Chinese-half-white and looks like the dude from that group Fine Young Cannibals. And the cover story is always something like, “Jon is messing around with some other chick and Kate’s finally leaving him.” I asked one of the cashiers who in the fuck these people are and she’s like, “Oh, they have eight kids and they have this reality show called ‘Jon and Kate Plus 8.’” I guess all you have to do to be famous these days is have a shit-ton of kids. Look at that Octomom lady, or whatever. My sister’s like, “That Octomom lady’s crazy—she thinks she’s Angelina Jolie.” I said so fucking what? Every damn body I know’s crazy—that doesn’t mean I want to sit around talking about them all day. Fuck dude, they might as well give my trashy-ass aunt a reality show. She has eight or nine kids all by different dudes and doesn’t do shit besides sit around and smoke cigarettes, drink Captain Cokes, and eat McDonalds dollar-menu shit. I guarantee some dumb fuckers would watch her if she had a show, too. I guess this Jon dude is always creeping around with different chicks all the time, too. I bet you could pull mad chicks if you had a TV show—even if the show was weak as hell. That dude probably pulls chicks just for looking like that dude from Fine Young Cannibals, too, or whatever.

REAL TALKER: BARNEY FRANK

You guys all remember learning about when Hitler proposed a more affordable alternative to privately-owned health insurance don't you?? Here's the most laughably retarded aspect of this whole health insurance/ pharmaceutical industry-driven backlash against the public option (OPTION!!!-As in you can you can choose this if you want it- or not): Somehow Obama manages to be painted as Hitler by these retards, for proposing that people should have the option to choose a more affordable govt. OPTION for healthcare. Meanwhile; it is common practice for the existing privately owend insurance companies to routinely underinsure or flat-out deny their customers necessary healthcare proceedures, if it goes against their bottom line. In other words, "we reserve the right to let you suffer or die, if it means the service you are paying us for, cuts into our shareholders' profits". To the right-wingers and sellout-ass 'blue dog' Democrats, offering people an alternative to this corrupt inefficient healthcare system is 'Hitleresque'; but maintaining the status quo of privately-owned insurance companies' institutionalized (literal) 'death panels'-approach to healthcare is not only acceptable, but is 'AMERICAN!' If you are on board with this line of bullshit than I have my own healthcare diagnosis for you: You are terminally stupid and do not deserve to live. By the power vested in me by the Lords of Apathy Death Panel, I sentence you to death. -Tell Reagan I said "suck it".

I WANT TO BE REVOK (AND RETNA) WHEN I GROW UP.

Check out Revok's awesome Summer in Beverly Hills post on his blog to find out about how America's real-life vandal Vincent Chase(s) get down.

MESS WITH THE BULL...

"So yeah, check it out... We have this sport, -it's really cool, -basically, we slowly torture an animal in front of huge crowds of people. Then we keep taunting it, and stabbing it with swords until eventually it dies. Pretty neat huh?" I love it when these motherfuckers get what's coming to them.

JUICING -By Jay Money

I know this has been going on for a while, or whatever, but it seems like every time I see ESPN they’re talking about some different athlete being on the juice. Ortiz, or Big Papi, or whatever was being interviewed last week talking about, “No I don’t know anything about what all different types of drugs I’m on.” Yeah, alright dude. I never understood why Manny Ramirez was taking that lady hormone at first, but I guess that taking steroids is the equivalent of your nuts times 100, or whatever. And after a while your nuts get overwhelmed and just shut down, and I guess that lady hormone was supposed to jump-start his nuts to do their job again, or whatever.

Egg fucking made easy!

for the record, ive been fucking eggs for YEARS, and while im not gonna quit fucking the real thing, this soft lubed up egg might be nice to fuck once in a while to maybe try let some of the scabs and lesions all over my dick heal.

p.s. the clear dick is AWESOME! i need to figure out how to make mine clear!! if anyone has any literature on how to do that, please post the text in the comments!

JOSH LAZCANO MUSIC

before heard this I was expecting it to turn me into a vampire or make me want to wear all black and be sarchastic and 'dark' but I'm actually kinda feeling it. Good looking out J-Laz.

COCAINE USE CAUSED HEART DISEASE THAT KILLED BILLY MAYS (By Jay Money)

I guess the autopsy of the OxiClean guy showed that he was doing a bunch of cocaine. I guess that explains why that dude was always jumping around and getting super geeked about pretty weak stuff like cleaning products and some magic crayon that will take scratches out of your car. Coke’s something I never really fucked with all that much. For one, that shit’s super expensive. Two, by the time it gets to my neighborhood a bunch of Mexicans have already stepped all over it and cut it up with all types of different shit until there’s barely any coke in it anymore. And third, as a general rule I think any drug you snort or shoot is bound to cause major problems down the road. I guess that Keith Richards dude mixed his dad’s cremated ashes with coke and snorted it. Then his publicist was like, “No, he didn’t do that.” But I guarantee he did. I heard that Bush Jr. used to do a shit-ton of coke, too. Plus, think about it, if your dad’s the head of the CIA you’re going to be coming up on that un-cut, Colombian pipeline shit. I bet that dude was making ski-hill mounds out of that shit and burying his face in it Tony Montana style. Or making maps of the U.S. and snorting it up like Nick Cage’s brother in that movie “Lord of War.” I think the dude in that movie snorted up a map of the Ukraine, though. This dude at work was saying that if you rub a little coke on your tallywacker you can have sex for a real long time—it’s supposed to numb it or something. I remember this news story about a dude who shot cocaine into his tallywacker—like with a needle—and his junk shriveled up and fell off. Dude, yeah, I’m sure it seemed like a good idea at the time, but I bet that dude wishes he could get a do-over on that one.

TUBE TOP TUESDAY!

That's right -another tube top to get you young bulls' computers putin' for the '09. Maria Ozawa bringin it with the purple rain tube top jaun (I see you Philly!)
Send all of your Tube Top submissions and querries to: lordsofapathy@gmail.com

BEST BAND EVER: DENGUE FEVER

I might be overselling them as the best band 'ever' but I'm gonna just roll with it for this moment in time. If you've listened to mainstream radio in the last ten to 15 years, you could easliy make a solid case for that statement being true. Anyways; recoginze the realest shit I've heard in recent memory. -So DOPE!

THE HEALTHCARE DEBATE; WTF??

The Republicans hate the idea of treating the poor like human beings.

The Fine Arts

I was spending some time on Facebook this afternoon looking to see if girls who shot me down in high school got fat when I came across this masterpiece. If anyone knows who the original artist is, holler at DMD because I'd love to get a sofa-size of this for the crib. Also, I can confirm that most of those bitches put on at least 20 pounds. How you like me now Jenny Choi?

REAL TALKER: BRAD PITT

I'm always predisposed to hate on Hollywood's prettyboys, but I gotta give it up for Brad Pitt. Peep the resume:
•Has starred in many solid movies including 'Seven', 'Snatch' and 'Fight Club'
•Has boned his way through several Hollywood A-List starlets
•Has adopted the entire Benetton catalog
•is an uber-liberal politically
•Nominated 'Real Talker' on Lords of Apathy blog

HOT ASIAN GIRL DuJOUR: CHISATO MORISHITA

Some say "Bootylicious", some say "not bootylicious enough", Sir Nose'd says "A tail is nothing more than a long booty"... You decide!(Click image to enlarge how AWESOME it is)

HOT RAP SONG DuJOUR : FUCK ED HARDY

My man Dirt Nasty's done it again, another hot track to peel your wig/ your rhinestone-bedazzled Ed Hardy trucker cap back. This shit is so official...Peep game:

2009 Juggalo Gathering was a complete SUCCESS!!

im not even sure what to say about this, by the title alone you know what you are about to get into...

BIG THINGS. UPDATED.

you will remember the "BIG THINGS" post from July 20th, well a minute ago an extended version just hit the www and its pretty fucking amazing for a number of reasons... have a damn look...

TUBE TOP TUESDAY!

Now I Ain't Sayin' She's A...

I would hope that this woman was handing out some bomb ass BJs because the grill isn't worth the glaciers of ice being poured into that box.

The (Second) Greatest Story Ever Told

I'm going to throw a lot of B-list celebrity names at you here, so try to keep up. Former Kool Keith affiliate Jacky Jasper broke the story that 5 time NBA All-Star and Olympic gold medalist Reggie Miller was nearly the subject of a restraining order application after Miller threatened the husband of a woman he was trying to bone. Apparently, Miller stalked a married woman outside of a grocery store and then sent her 53 text messages in 4 hours. When her husband, the son of Diane von Fürstenberg, tried to step to Miller, the NBA record holder for most 3 pointers threatened him with gun talk. Lawyers got involved and Miller apologized before von Fürstenberg filed the restraining order. You would think the story was over, but then someone flew a plane with the banner shown above around an AVP beach volleyball tournament in Hermosa Beach, California. I feel like I am being punked here, but until further notice this is the most awesome story of the summer.

FOOD INC.

Are you like me and you HATE your dog?

if you answered "YES", then you are gonna want to get your dog one of these...

HOT ASIAN GIRL DuJOUR: NATSUKI IKEDA

zzzzzzz... who the fuck cares.

im half bummed i didnt think to try this back in MY grade school days...

TUBE TOP TUESDAY! (on thursday)

Sincere apologies for missing Tube Top Tuesday this week. TTT is quickly becoming one of the internet's fastest-growing weekly features, and I was regretfully derelict in my blogging duties. Please forgive me.(Good looking out Sista Nancy)

HUNG

I always knew William Hung was a dope singer, but I had no idea that he was an amazing actor as well. It seems like I'm not the only one to notice. Recently the top brass at HBO decided to give him his own self-titled show. In it, William Hung plays a high school sports legend turned middle-aged high school basketball coach. He is divorced and struggling to provide for his kids, when his already run-down house catches fire. Looking to take on a second job, William decides to exploit his best asset, (his massive schlong) in a last-ditch attempt to change his fortunes. Loosely based on his own real-life story, Hung gives us a window into his former life as a male prostitute.
This scene was shot on location at a Toronto Bluejays game, where Hung made a special appearance to sing during the 7th-inning stretch. A pretty cool idea to have a scene from the show integrated into an actual live event. I heard William insists on making the show as realistic as possible and shies away from using a green screen for special effects.

Totally Appropriate Children's Programming

This has everything a parent would want in a children's television show: hints of heavy drug use, undertones of pedophilia and a Rastafarian rooster. Enjoy!

Thanks to Molemen.com for pointing this out.

MAYHEM- FREEZING MOON

I could listen to 9 hours of this before I could stomach 15 minutes of some mainstream Clearchannel/ Disney radio-owned bullshit. I'm not even a big fan of this kind of stuff; I mean, it's aiight, but I appreciate the fact that they're doing it. Any music that is threatening and dangerous-seeming is good to me. It's like gangsta rap for white people. More music needs to make kids' parents 'concerned'...

"BIRTHERS"

I didn't know these loons existed until today and this was how I was introduced to them.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

When Karl Rove wont get your back when you're trying to take Obama down a few, you've really painted yourself into a corner that only acting batshit crazy will get you out of.

LOU DOBBS IS AN IDIOT

Million Dollar Baby

If you thought the last baby was balling out of control, let me introduce you to this little fella. Just a week old and he's already swimming in a sea of dinero. While you're trying to figure out if your '91 Ford Probe qualifies under the Cash For Clunkers plan, this baby is putting Grants in the safe, giving Washingtons to wifey and spending these Jacksons.

VIRAL VIDEOS

TOMMY WISEAU AS 'PIGMAN'

The man's talent knows no boundaries.

HOT ASIAN GIRL DuJOUR: RUI KIRIYAMA

I just went and saw the Movie "Funny People". It was pretty fucking good. When Adam Sandler's not being an annoying caricature of himself, he's actually a fairly solid actor. Good job all around, although I kinda wanted more Raaaaaaaandy cameos...