LORDS OF APATHY

January 21, 2009

CHUD OR NO CHUD?: JEWISH AMERICAN PRINCESS FROM THE CASH 4 GOLD COMMERCIAL

The true essence of' Chud or No Chud' lies in it's power to make us all dredge the depths of our sexual depravity. It makes us publicly confront the parameters of who we'd bone, in spite of subjecting yourself to the scorn and ridicule of your peers. In this regard, I think we all owe a huge debt of gratitude to former President Bill Clinton for bringing the issue of "chud-hopping" to the forefront of American consciousness. In the rich tradition of President Clinton and so many other unsung chud-fuckers, I ask that you join me in breaking down this week's Chud or No Chud challenge. (Click image to enlarge)

Selecting candidates for 'Chud or No Chud' is no easy task. It's a delicate balancing act weighing the traditional societal standards of beauty, against your own shameful sexual deviance. This week's candidate has been haunting me for a few months now. I'm not sure how this came about, but there's always been something about those annoying middle-aged whiny, J.A.P. broads that i'm feeling; -but the real decision lies with you. -All you have to do is go on the record and state where the Tax 4 Gold chick rates on our official chud rating system (see definition below). In order to get a better sense of what we're working with, I think It's best to see her within the context of the actual Cash 4 Gold commercial. If you want to skip ahead, her part is at the 0:36 second mark on the video.A few rules for your evaluation:
The chud-spectrum breaks down into 3 general categories: 1.Hot 2.Chud, and 3.Sub-Chud
• The Hot category is a no-brainer. Everyone and their dad would hit that. -Think Raquel Welch in the movie 'One Million Years B.C."
• In the Chud category, there's a glimmer of something there. You can't quite put your finger on what it is, but most likely you'd put your dick on what it is...-provided that shit stays on Downlow. -Think Sporty Spice.
• Sub-Chud is pretty self explanatory; It's not happening...-EVER. No way, no how. -Think Barbara Bush.

In the Comments section below, please leave your stance on where you think the Cash 4 Gold lady falls on the chud-spectrum, and site reasons for your decision. We will be scientifically compiling this data to come up with the official verdict as to weather or not she is indeed a chud or not. Good luck everybody!!

Obama Relationship Analysis


OK, so it's gone from a "terrorist fist jab" to just straight up fisting. This woman is a relationship expert? Look, I know that people on the wrong side of 40 like to CONSTANTLY bring up the fist bump that the Obamas did in an effort to sound relevant, but this has reached epic levels of stupidity. On behalf of the 5% (Sadat X, I see you!) of this country that knows what the fuck is going on, I am asking everyone nicely to stop talking about the Obamas touching fists.

PURITY BALLS

"Yeah, I got your purity balls right here beeyotch!!"

HOT ASIAN GIRL DuJOUR: KANA TSUGIHARA

Riding the wave of post-Bush/ Cheney euphoria, I thought another Kana Tsugihara post would be in order. GOD!- sometimes life is fucking AWESOME! (Rarely).

LOA FASHION WEEK RAGES ON!!

Yo! It's your boy Young Snickerdoodles in the building!! As you may have known from my last Fashion Week post, I've been trying to step my couture game up lately. Now, I know what you're thinking; "Snickerdoodles, you've had your 'grown-and-sexy' locked down for a while now". Yes, of course I have; but that doesn't mean that there isn't still room for improvement. I've been keeping my ear to the streets and paying extra-close attention to what's moving and shaking in the world of high-fashion. In this photo, I decided to go with an all-white ensemble topped off with some throwback black platform shoes. I think this look evokes a sense of being in touch with my feminine side, but at the same time says 'If you make fun of me for it, I'm gonna kick you in the fucking head with these big-ass shoes". It appears that this look is definitely catching on as evidenced by motherfuckers biting my shit throughout the Bloggosphere.

(Good looking out Big Stu AKA 'Lil' Pimp' over at 'A' For Effort Blog. -Holla at your boy!!)

#1 on the billboard charts

its about time someone wrote a good song. for the first time in the history of music a song with lyrics i can relate to 110%! and the beat?!?!? SLAMMIN'!!
this fucking tune is SURE to get wedged in your head for the next few weeks!!

OLBERMANN: PROSECUTE BUSH/ CHENEY

We must demand that Obama administration prosecute every last rat-fuck criminal from the previous administration. I'll let Mr. Olbermann tell you why:

BARACK OBAMA; PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

I don't think I'm able to contribute anything original or interesting to the Obama inauguration discussion... But Damn... The words 'President Obama' has a really nice ring to it. Let's hope the Dems are able to get out of their own way long enough to actually get some productive shit accomplished. In the meantime, peep this Obama/ McCain dance-off and the Obama/ A-Milli remix.

January 20, 2009

January 19, 2009

Progress

Free at last.  Free at last.  Thank God almighty, a bottomless cup of coffee is free at last (with purchase of 2 egg breakfast).

Please take some time today to reflect on how Martin Luther King paved the way for improved breakfast food relations.

January 16, 2009

The Pimp's In The Crib, Ma

I think his science fair project analyzed the benefits of using roach clips.  Are those waffle fries on that plate?  

MUST-SEE CLEAVAGE TV

Another quality program from overseas. The frogs really know how to put it down on the hot-girls-crawling-across-a-slippery- rotating-pipe tip.

JAPANESE PERV UPDATE

One of the many reasons japanese culture is clearly superior to ours.(good looking out Kingpin Ronin!)

January 15, 2009

FUCK THE POLICE.

Amadou Diallo 2009. Rest in peace Oscar Grant.

MAN ALMOST LOSES HIS PENIS HUMPING BENCH

Benchfuckers of the world stand up! (free your penises first)

IT'S FASHION WEEK ON LOA!!

Yo! It's your boy S-Dot; I'm here chillin' in the bloggosphere thinking about different ways I can keep my blog-game tight. Naturally I got inspired by some of the more prominent fashion blogs on the internet, and decided to give it a shot... After all, I have impeccable taste, a stellar fashion sense, and I know how much the ladies enjoy checking me out in different provocative, sexy outfits, all the while, fantasizing about maybe getting away with me for a romantic weekend... -Perhaps shacking up at a quaint little bed and breakfast in the country, -and just getting that ass pounded until the sun comes up in the morning... Keep that on the low though. I won't tell your man about us... SHHhhhhhhh...

NEW LOA SCREENSAVER FEATURING LOA's GRAND IMPERIAL BURGER SQUAD!

Oh no he di'int!!! Yes we can! and yes we did! The L.O.A.B.S. got together last night in front of our favorite restaurant 'Buttruckers' in order to shoot this all new, sexy, provocative, alluring, glamourous, intellectually stimulating screensaver. I think it's safe to say that LOA is kicking some major ass these days! Make sure you weigh in on 'Chud or No Chud' a few posts down. We need to hear your opinions. -HOLLA!!(Click on image to enlarge. Drag image into your desktop/screensavers folder. Welcome to the good life.)

January 14, 2009

GAYEST SONG OF ALL TIME

The undisputed champs of homosexuality.

CHUD OR NO CHUD?: MADONNA EDITION

Here it is you fucks. Prepare to get your collective wigs peeled back and wrap your disgusting minds around this special '09 'Chud or No Chud' discussion. So seriously dude...-Real talk; would you/ could you bone Madonna? I'm gonna also put forth the stipulation that you don't get any fringe benefits out of the deal; no money, no media exposure, no Yankees tickets -nothing. It's just you, and a present-day Madonna, holed-up in some random Holiday Inn bone chamber.
(Click image to enlarge)
A few rules for your evaluation:
The chud-spectrum breaks down into 3 general categories: 1.Hot 2.Chud, and 3.Sub-Chud
• The Hot category is a no-brainer. Everyone and their dad would hit that. -Think Vida Guerra.
• In the Chud category, there's a glimmer of something there. You can't quite put your finger on what it is, but most likely you'd put your dick on what it is...-provided that shit stays on Downlow. -Think Sarah Jessica Parker.
• Sub-Chud is pretty self explanatory; It's not happening...-EVER. No way, no how. -Think Ann Coulter.

In the Comments section below, please leave your stance on where you think Madonna falls on the chud-spectrum and site reasons for your decision. We will be scientifically compiling this data to come up with the official verdict as to weather or not she is indeed a chud or not. Good luck contestants!!

RUNNIN WITH THE DEVIL

Man, Van Halen was the shit... It's too bad this lineup couldn't have pumped out a few more albums before they installed the revolving door of dooshbag lead singers. I guess David Lee Roth had a few jams as a solo artist though... Damn; peep game:

CUTE ASIAN BABY Du JOUR

I've gone ahead and named this baby lil' Jerry Rice. Recognize bitch.

January 13, 2009

January 10, 2009

SEX OVER THE PHONE

I just had to jack this from Revok's blog...My favorite one is the dude with the tall-ass moustache/ beard combo-pack (no homo).

January 9, 2009

HOT ASIAN GIRL DuJOUR: YUNJIN KIM

Side A track 1 on my 'Boner Jamz '09' mixtape is a cut by 'Lost' actress/ hot-ass Korean Yunjin Kim. I've been meaning to put her on for the H.A.G.D.J for over a year now and was actually reminded to do so when I started overhearing people discussing the new 'Lost' season starting up again soon. Although the plot has gotten a little too scattered for my liking; imagining being stranded on an island indefinitely with Yunjin Kim is precisely the stuff Boner Jamz highlight reels are made of. I'd seriously put a baby in her -real talk...

MEET ME IN THE TRAP; IT'S GOING DOWN...

'Human beings will always betray you.' 'You can only trust the numbers.' These were the opening titles to this 6-part video entitled "The Trap -Fuck You Buddy". It basically discusses some right-wing philosophies revolving around 'Game Theory' that have far-reaching effects on our society. It's pretty deep intellectual stuff, but it is super interesting to see how these ideas are applied to everything from healthcare to, military strategy. That's about the best I can do in trying to explain it, but watch it for yourself, it's pretty heavy duty.

click here to watch parts 2-6, or better yet, click on them in the window at the end of the video above.

January 7, 2009

Real American Hero

When people talk about heroes, you hear a lot about fathers, presidents, inventors, and Kobe Bryant.  This guy is my hero.  Dude gets so many props for being able to give this name to the reporter with a straight face.  I'd start giggling once I got to "Mike."

NEW BONER JAMZ '09 LOA SCREENSAVER!

You know what...-Fuck this shit! It's a new year and as promised, LOA is coming back harder (no Homo) than ever! So to set the year off right, I designed this unique, one of a kind, LOA desktop screensaver for your viewing and computing pleasure. The concept behind this one was basically about what I did on new years eve, and what I plan on doing throughout the rest of the year. I'm feelin' good, -I'm feeling confident, and I want the whole world to know what the fuck is up with this latest softdrink designed to make that certain part of the male body... -Mmmmbigger.
Holla at your boy-boy LOA all day up in this bitch!

Get this HOT new screensaver now for less than the cost of a postage stamp. Click on the image to make it...-mmmbigger (No Homo)... and drag it into the desktops/ screensavers folder on your computer.

January 5, 2009

April Fools.

Sound it Out

Juice has had it too good for too long.  Finally, someone has the guts to come out and say it.  Fuck juice.  It's time for root beer and Capri-Sun to take back the streets.

SENATOR AL FRANKEN

It's official ladies and gentlemen... Our boy Al Franken has officially beaten Republican Reptilian scumbag Norm Coleman out of his senate seat in Minnesota! Naturally, Coleman won't take his beating gracefully and plans on trying to recount the recount. I cannot WAIT for the shit slinging to start from Limbaugh and O'Reilly. -It's gonna be AWESOME!
MINNEAPOLIS - Democrat Al Franken will be declared the winner of the tight U.S. Senate contest in Minnesota, emerging from a ballot recount with a slim margin over Republican Norm Coleman, a state official said on Sunday. Coleman, the incumbent, is expected to challenge the result in court, and could demand a second recount based on disputes over lost ballots, accusations of double-counting of votes, and the inclusion of some previously excluded absentee ballots in the recount.

January 4, 2009

FUNKY SUNDAY



You might recognize the beginning as the main sample from Posion Clan's "Spoiled Rotten", one of the best songs of all time.

January 1, 2009

Start the Year Off Right

no guns, no drugs, no hatingLOA's Chicago chapter tried to get it crackin' last night at this spot on Roosevelt just off of Austin.  Dress code was "grown and sexy": no sports wear, no hats, no uzis. Needless to say, I was refused admission at the door. Maybe next year.