ASK SNICKERDOODLES

In the spirit of giving something back to my peoples, and all the citizens of the worldwide bloggosphere community, I have decided to start up a new section on L.O.A. called "Ask Snickerdoodles" - it's an advice column of sorts. In it, I will provide expert advice on a wide range of topics covering the entire spectum of lifes trials and tribulations. So drop me a line a let me know what's ovulating in your miserable pathetic little lives, and I'll do my best to skraiten ya'lls' shit out. So if you're in need of a life coach, or just have a problem and have no one else to turn to, -holla at your boy Snickerdoodles. SEND ALL QUESTIONS TO:

lordsofapathy@gmail.com (make sure you type "ATTENTION SNICKERDOODLES" in the subject box)

This week's question comes from a regular commenter on the L.O.A. She asks:

Dear Snickerdoodles,
I'm a 23-year old female and I'm having problems trying to break into a better paying job. I don't want to sit a desk all day anymore and get paid nothing! I feel like I have all the experience in the world and everyone that's reviewed my resume says the same thing. I must be failing in interview process or my cover letter. What do you suggest I should do when I go into an interview? Or even how I should handle my cover letter? There has to be an answer out there, please help.

-Still Broke In Minneapolis.

Dear 'Still Broke',
Here's the deal, -and you gotta trust me on this one: -Having a job is like having a fucking girlfriend. At first you're all stoked, -like you're opening up some exciting new chapter in your life and all that... But after a while, that shit starts getting mad weak. That bitch wants to start dominating your life. It's like, you might want to go to Vegas with your homies for the weekend and spend the entire time buggin out on pot brownies, stuffing a few hundred dollars into various strippers butt cracks; -and what's this bitch gonna go and do?: -"What are you doing?" "When are you coming back?" "How come you didn't call me last night?" "Were you with another girl?".... -It's like BITCH, this aint 20 muthafuckin' questions...-Get off my dick already!! Jesus fucking Christ. -My name's not Keith, so could you please stop sweatin' me!!? But yeah... Having a job kinda sucks. One minute you think you're making all this money and shit, and then, before you know it, all that money's all gone. -You pay a couple of bills and your girlfriend wants you to buy her all this stupid-ass shit; but then she's like "Why do you have to work all the time?..." -BITCH!!! -These motherfucking Ugg boots dont grow on trees!!! So yeah, I dunno; try using a different font on your cover letter. Maybe wear a low-cut blouse to the interview. If that doesn't work, I guess just blow off the whole getting a job thing, and try to become some rich dude's girlfriend. From what I can tell, that seems to be the best job out there.