JESSE VENTURA KEEPING IT REAL ON FOX NEWS

From Navy Seal, to professional wrestler, to movie star, to Minnesota state governor, to author, to member of the Klingon High Council (see photos of Jesse in his post-gubernatorial, beard dreads, not-giving-a-fuck phase), and now 9-11 conspiracy theorist. Fuck it. Let’s be real—Jesse Ventura is a superhero. At this point in time I can’t think of anyone who keeps it more real than this guy. He goes on Fox News and with unflappable conviction drops math on the fact that two planes can’t possibly bring down three buildings. This dude’s apparently not afraid of paramilitary goons in blacked-out Suburbans coming to whisk him off to a FEMA camp in the middle of the night. Probably because he’s strapped the fuck out —I saw Predator—that Gatling gun was no joke. Plus, have you seen this dude’s wiz?—She’s built like Red Sojna. I know she’s down to jux someone in the neck with a battle-ax or a two-handed bastard sword if they get backed into a tight corner.Unfortunately, you have to also listen to neocon dipshit Sean Hannity flap his gums as well.(good looking out Nicky V.)