Nicolas Cage is re-inventing how-to-act:
Showing posts with label Nicolas Cage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Nicolas Cage. Show all posts
September 30, 2011
June 10, 2009
Are You Fucking Kidding Me?
Wow. Call the coroner because it's a fajita for Nicolas Cage's career. Val Kilmer's is on life support and Eva Mendes is now an official D-lister. This is directed by Werner Herzog, but if you told me that it was directed by Master P, I would believe you. I don't know what's worse: the acting, that someone would put Xzibit in a movie, that Xzibit doesn't hold his gun sideways, or that this is a "conceptual" sequel to the incredible Harvey Keitel movie of the same name? Let me save everyone a lot of trouble and just go straight to Blockbuster with this one.
February 18, 2009
GORRILLA PIMPIN/ FACE OFF/ MURDER WAS THE CASE THAT THEY GAVE (TRAVIS)
I discussed this story with some colleagues of mine and we concluded that it is definitely a bad idea to try to domesticate a chimpanzee. Those things have superhuman ninja strength. However, what would be far worse than that, would be trying to domesticate a retarded chimpanzee that's strung out on PCP. I'm totally serious about that. That motherfucker could probably bench press like a million pounds.
In honor of Dre Day (February 18th) I thought that this lyric from "The Watcher" (Chronic 2001) was especially timely/ apropos/ prophetic:
(They) keep us trapped in the same place we're raised in.
Then they wonder why we act so outrageous,
Run around stressed out and pull out gauges.
Cause everytime you let the animal out cages,
It's dangerous to people who look like strangers.
November 14, 2008
IN YO' FACE!! (Plastic Surgery Disasters)
A Korean woman addicted to plastic surgery has been left unrecognisable after her obsession led her to inject cooking oil into her face.
Hang Mioku, now 48, had her first plastic surgery procedure when she was 28; hooked from the beginning she moved to Japan where she had further operations - mostly to her face. Following operation after operation, her face was eventually left enlarged and disfigured, but she would still look at herself in the mirror and think she was beautiful. Eventually the surgeons she visited refused to carry out any more work on her and one suggested that her obsession could be a sign of a psychological disorder. When she returned home to Korea the surgery meant Hang's features had changed so much that her own parents didn't recognise her. After realising that the girl with the grossly swollen face was indeed their daughter her horrified parents took her to a doctor. Once again the possibility that Hang had a mental disorder was raised and she started treatment. However, this treatment was too expensive for her to keep up and she soon fell back into old ways.
Amazingly, she found a doctor who was willing to give her silicone injects and, what's more, he then gave her a syringe and silicone of her own so she could self-inject. When her supply of silicone ran out Hang resorted to injecting cooking oil into her face. Her face became so grotesquely large that she was called "standing fan" by children in her neighbourhood - due to her large face and small body. As Hang's notoriety spread she was featured on Korean TV. Viewers seeing the report took mercy on her and sent in enough donations to enable her to have surgery to reduce the size of her face. During the first procedure surgeons removed 60g of foreign substance from Hang's face and 200g from her neck. After several other sessions her face was left greatly reduced but still scarred and disfigured. And it would seem that even Hang can now see the damage she has done; she now says that she would simply like her original face back.
Hang Mioku, now 48, had her first plastic surgery procedure when she was 28; hooked from the beginning she moved to Japan where she had further operations - mostly to her face. Following operation after operation, her face was eventually left enlarged and disfigured, but she would still look at herself in the mirror and think she was beautiful. Eventually the surgeons she visited refused to carry out any more work on her and one suggested that her obsession could be a sign of a psychological disorder. When she returned home to Korea the surgery meant Hang's features had changed so much that her own parents didn't recognise her. After realising that the girl with the grossly swollen face was indeed their daughter her horrified parents took her to a doctor. Once again the possibility that Hang had a mental disorder was raised and she started treatment. However, this treatment was too expensive for her to keep up and she soon fell back into old ways.
Amazingly, she found a doctor who was willing to give her silicone injects and, what's more, he then gave her a syringe and silicone of her own so she could self-inject. When her supply of silicone ran out Hang resorted to injecting cooking oil into her face. Her face became so grotesquely large that she was called "standing fan" by children in her neighbourhood - due to her large face and small body. As Hang's notoriety spread she was featured on Korean TV. Viewers seeing the report took mercy on her and sent in enough donations to enable her to have surgery to reduce the size of her face. During the first procedure surgeons removed 60g of foreign substance from Hang's face and 200g from her neck. After several other sessions her face was left greatly reduced but still scarred and disfigured. And it would seem that even Hang can now see the damage she has done; she now says that she would simply like her original face back.
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