SANTORUM IMPERSONATIING SANTORUM

THE JACKHAMMER© (Patent Pending)

I GOT IT!! Dude- I'm 'bout to officially go on record here with my latest million-dollar invention: 'THE JACKHAMMER©'!! Basically, the Jackhammer is going to be my series of work-out masturbation tapes accompanied by specially designed resistance bands that will help you burn calories, build muscle, and sculpt your body as you masturbate. I'm thinking, maybe some kind of adjustable tension band that goes around your fucking neck and the other end attaches to your wrist. As you jack off, you work your biceps, triceps, and deltoids. I could maybe even make it have a Michael Hutchence feature on there that allows you to choke yourself as your jerkin it... (I should probably holler at my lawyers about this one first.)
Some Aerobic Exercise - Amazing videos are here