Alright people, strap on your thinking caps; -LET'S DO THIS! I'm gonna set off round 2 off like this: The scenario is this: you have to take a Greyhound bus from Bangor Maine to San Diego California sitting next to either Ann Coulter while she's having her period (assuming she actually has one), or Jar Jar Binks who's taken about 9 different hits of extasy and is just bugging the fuck out. From Start to finish the entire trip will take about 4 days, with intermittent stops to eat, get food, use the restroom etc. If you complete your mission, you will recieve a million dollars cash and will be able to magically have sex with whoever you want for 72 hours. However, if you fail, you will get both kneecaps smashed backwards by a sledgehammer, and be forced to listen to the song "Pretty fly (for a white guy)" by The Offspring on constant loop for 72 hours. -GOOD LUCK!-This one is tough...
Go on the record and state your choices AND reasons for your decision in the comments section below. (Please leave your name or alias at the end if you have not already established yourself as a regular on the blog)
15 comments:
No doubt, no doubt...(huh???)
Jar Jar, all the way.
By my reasoning, if I start making out with Jar Jar somewhere in the WHite Mounhtains region (lets say early afternoon of day 1) and I bite him really hard and draw blood, maybe I'll catch a residual E buzz. Then me and Jar Jar can have sex the whole way (it's not gay if it's an alien, duh). Cool mill coming my way, for doing what I do!
Question though - can I choose Jar Jar as my 72 hour sex reward afterwards>
Did I stutter? I thought not. Ok I choose b over a, what was the question again?
Mr, flip -Yeah, during your magic 72 hours of sex, you can bang whoever you want to. Do you, nahmean? and for Africa Black, a lil' word to the wise; I think you need to go back and re-read this thing and not make any hasty decisions. After all, there's a fucking LOT at stake here...
Jar Jar for sure. However, before getting aboard the bus, I'd make sure to follow Hector Cerveza Fria's Recipe For Diarrhea from Life Sucks Die III or IV. This would ensure I could spend as much time in the bathroom and away from that figment of George Lucas' racist shitbag imagination as possible.
I love regular Star Wars though. And Episode III. Except for the NOOOOOOO part.
ID GO WITH THE BROAD, AT LEAST YOU COULD FLICK BOOGERS ON HER WHILE SHE SLEEP AND MAYBE EVEN RUB ONE OUT ON HER
It's pure math. The prize far outweighs the task. I'd take either or both...
But what we did not factor in is if this was a summer trip. If so, the stench of the spaceclot Jar Jar's reptilian folds and horrible x-breath as he paws you and sweats and begs to start a massage train in his shitty Virgin Islands/space patois would be about unfucking bearable. At least Coulters dried innards don't realease a smell beyond embalming fluid.
So if it's today, on a hot fucking day like this, I'm taking Coulter.
Anyone catch the skinhead documentary on A&E the other night?
WOW, a little psychotic homicidal sexual fantasy topped off with a rather specific pop-culture cinema reference... Looks like somebody's doing some serious soul-searching on this one... I like it, -Great job Rastroy!
id say jar jar just so i could try and hit him up for more hits for me, then ask him how the fuck did he get in star wars movies, and if georger lucas is truly illuminati.
I remember the last time I did ecstacy... this blonde fat girl gave me a hit for free at a campground rave. Needless to say, I took the small tablet, thinking that I would skulk away from the bloated maiden and get my X on with some beautiful rave-biddy.
Lo, the X took control, and I sucked neck with the fat girl in a wet tent until sunrise.
Let that be a lesson.
Oh, and I'll take Jar Jar this round.
YEAH!!
I think we need a clear definition of what constitutes "failure".
Are we talking murdering one of these two, or merely changing seats?
Hey you guys this is Larry Tribe, Ann's
publicist. I don't appreciate you trashing my cleint on the web. She is a good person and means well. Some of the comments posted here I find very alarming. I wish to talk to the head of this blog. So that person can have a sitdown with Ann and find out just how wonderful she really is.
Thank you and have a nice day.
How about a 4-day cross country sit down?
Yeah? A sit down between Ann Coulter and yours truly, Snickerdoodles McPoppycock? Wow that sounds pretty tempting!.. -How about this -if she makes a public apology to Cindy Sheehan and the other mothers / wives of U.S. military that she dissed in order to sell copies of her stupid-ass book, then maybe I'll consider it. Maybe if she donates the proceeds to helping rebuild Iraq and helping the thousands of civilian families she's cheerled the destruction of, maybe then I could spare a moment of my precious time on that miserable worthless cunt.
AHHHH SHIT!!! RasTroy caught ya slippin!!!
I didnt think the Larry Tribe thing would fly, but yalls was slippin. Yall just got blogged on.
Loved the responce. Big Up Es-Dot-McPopCock
LOA don't love them hoes.
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