LORDS OF APATHY

May 10, 2007

FLIPPIN' DA SCRIPT: EXTREME MIDDLE-AGED DANCE STYLE

A 48-year-old man died Monday night while attempting to do a flip at a parking lot at 234 North St., police said. Robert Stitt of New Britain was among a group of friends who were drinking at the lot around 8:34 p.m., dancing and trying to outdo each other's moves, said Stitt's friend John Boxley, 39. "It was just two guys dancing. Everybody was laughing," said Boxley. James Brown was on the radio and Stitt wanted to outdo a rival dancer who had flipped in the air. Stitt took off his shirt and, urged on by cheers from the group, attempted a frontward flip and landed on his head, Boxley said. Boxley went to his friend, who was lying face down. He said he thought Stitt couldn't breathe. He lifted Stitt's head and heard him take three breaths. Stitt went into cardiac arrest and was pronounced dead at a local hospital, police said. Based on witness accounts, the man's death is not suspicious, police said. "It was a bunch of older guys who thought they were still young," Boxley said.

5 comments:

T.H.L.A.T. (can't spell) said...

thanks a lot ian ziering, you have really outdone yourself this fucking time. RIP Robert Stitt, you and your 48 year old dance moves will be missed.

and ian, i hope you ROTT IN HELLLLLLL.

Anonymous said...

Some people are just supposed to die. I know it sounds harsh, but it's natural selection. That's why I'm against helmet laws for skateboarders. We need to weed out the dumb ones. If some dumb kid falls and dies then we as a society move up a notch on the IQ scale. When someone dies of doing something really stupid, rejoice, you're now smarter because of it.

Snickerdoodles McPoppycock said...

I never thought about it that way before... I guess you're right. Do you think if George Bush died, the whole world would get smarter??

T.H.L.A.T. (can't spell) said...

George Bush is a skateboarder?

Anonymous said...

In theory yes, our collective IQ ratio would be higher if that bumbling idiot went away.

No, jesus didn't skate and neither does George. But he might if Shell gave him a shoe deal.

I just think we need to stop protecting the stupid from themselves. It's all about freedom or freedumb.