By now everyone’s heard of venerable patriarch of New York Eliot Spitzer’s sexcapades. Call me immoral, but I’m not even really that mad at him. In fact, after listening to the right-wing pundits tear him apart for the last 48 hours I’m pretty much in his corner. One question though. What kind of tail is so good it costs five thousand dollars a throw? Because that’s what he was paying the prostitution agency every time he had a date. You can buy a new Korean car with all the bells and whistles and a five-year warranty for five Gs. A girl’s got to be bangin’ like a Ron G tape if you’re paying that kind of money—she better be a superstar, and I’m not talking some B-movie actress—I’m talking Marion Cotillard on Oscar night, I’m talking CGI Angelina Jolie in “Beowulf.” When you throw that pussy up in the air it better turn into sunshine for $5K.
-Nicolo Vecki
