Chi-Town Anthem

I've been laid out with the flu for the past week. I've been too dizzy to play Call of Duty or read books, so my only option has been daytime TV. It is truly a wasteland. If Maury is a reflection on society, or even a small part of it, I might as well call it is wrap and jump onto the Eisenhower as I'm not sure a lower form of human life is possible.

Interspersed among DNA and lie detector tests, commercials for ambulance chasers and lump sum cash settlements, I caught some quality local programming, including this gem from WGN. Local singer-songwriter Paul Smith ripped the mic with his hit "Heeeey Bulls" while a bunch of old people clapped. In all seriousness, this was the best thing I saw between the hours of 7am and 6pm over a span of five weekdays (except for the few times I peeped out MFC).

SONGS YOU CAN FUCK TO VOL. II

This week's song is "Feenin'" by legendary R & B thugs, Jodeci. Fellas, nothing, and I mean absolutely NOTHING, will get your girl dripping faster than you leaning over and whispering in her ear, "All the chronic in the world couldn't even mess with you". If you're lucky, she might even call you a chronic smoking, oreo cookie eating, picklejuice drinking, chicken grissle eating, biscuit fucking sucking, black mafia-ass motherfucker. It happened to me one time.

BONUS: This video is fucking amazing. Dancing in a straightjacket inside a padded cell, Snoop in the beginning, 323-FEENIN. Fucking outstanding.

MR. NASTY RAPS PRESENTS: SONGS YOU CAN FUCK TO™

Picture this: You've just had a night out with your old lady. You get home and it's time to put the screws to her, but you can't find the right way to set it off. What do you do? Put on a song you can fuck to™! A song that that tells her it's time to drop her underpants and get down to biznass.

This week's selection is "Moments In Love" by Art of Noise. Trust me. If you put this song on, all parties involved know what's about to go down. Some fucking.