Prez's Birthday Fails to Stimulate Economy

I can't believe the President's birthday party featured BBQ and hip hop music but failed to create even one job. Fuck this guy. Good looking out, Fox News.

Dude, You're Fucking Blowing It

"I just flew in from DC and boy are my arms tired. Big shout out to the homie Joe Medicine Crow! Navajo women looking good in the audience tonight. Give yourselves a round of applause. But seriously, there was a tragic shooting at Fort Hood today..."

What more evidence do we need to conclude that Obama has surrounded himself with clowns? This meaningless appearance should have been cancelled or he should have lead off with sympathy straight from the gate. If Obama's crew can't figure this out, they need to go. I don't care if they can shoot the 3 or raise money through Twitter. These dummies blew it on controlling the healthcare story, stoke petty fights with Fox News and Rush Limbaugh and just generally make the president look like an idiot.

I know a number of people who left Chicago to work in the Obama administration, and I would not pay any of them to shine my shoes let alone handle the president. These are people who got A's on tests but are shocked to learn they still make vinyl records; who care deeply about "the struggle" but never met anyone who lives south of Roosevelt Road or west of Western; who think everyone who is not a Democrat is a hillbilly.

We are thisclose to one term territory, amigo. Pink slips need to rain down in the White House like Ben Gordon jumpers because this is becoming an irreversible joke. CLEAN FUCKING HOUSE!

SABER'S MESSAGE ON HEALTHCARE REFORM

Lil Obama Wins Pageant, 2 Girls Pissed

Hampton University crowned Nikole Churchill its first white Miss Hampton University this week. Campus reaction was mixed , so she wrote a letter to Obama, asking him to drop by HU to address the haters. Writes Nikole:

I am hoping that perhaps you would be able to make an appearance to my campus, Hampton University, so that my fellow Hamptonians can stop focusing so much on the color of my skin and doubting my abilities to represent, but rather be proud of the changes our nation is making towards accepting diversity. People are even nicknaming me, “lil Obama” because of various reasons. This is truly an honor as well!

I'd love to know the "various reasons" why she's called Lil Obama. Maybe he's a lousy writer, too. Anyway, how mad are the two girls on the right? I can hear the girl in the white sucking her teeth through the photo.

Thursday Caption Contest

Don't let me down, LOA.

UPDATE:

I gotta start hanging out at more G8 summits.

REAL TALK: WANDA SYKES

Racist or Not Racist: Russian Obama Chocolate Ice Cream

Russia joins fellow World War II villains Japan and Germany with this Obama-themed ad. Just as there is a black man is in the White House, the Duet ice cream bar has chocolate in vanilla ice cream. I think "Lexington Steele in Nikita Denise" would have given this ad more visual punch, but that's probably more offensive for other reasons. Once again, we are looking for you to make the call on whether or not this is racist.

Racist or Not Racist: German Obama Fried Chicken

You would be wrong if you thought the Axis Powers stopped insulting America in 1945.  Japan set it off with a blackface Obama magician and Germany takes it to the next level with Obama fried chicken.  At this point, I half expect an Italian company to sell Obama grape soda to complete the trifecta.  So what do you think LOA?  Is German Obama fried chicken racist or not racist? You make the call.

Is Blackface Illusionist Japanese Obama Racist? You Make the Call

The Detroit Murder Dog Corp. offices were abuzz with controversy this week as everyone was debating whether or not a Japanese guy in Obama blackface doing magic tricks was offensive. Remember that in Japan things like tentacle rape cartoons, used womens' underpants sold in vending machines, and french maid cafes are all OK. What do you think LOA? The phone lines are open.

UPDATE: LOA readers have spoken. Verdict is "not racist."

Obama Relationship Analysis

OK, so it's gone from a "terrorist fist jab" to just straight up fisting. This woman is a relationship expert? Look, I know that people on the wrong side of 40 like to CONSTANTLY bring up the fist bump that the Obamas did in an effort to sound relevant, but this has reached epic levels of stupidity. On behalf of the 5% (Sadat X, I see you!) of this country that knows what the fuck is going on, I am asking everyone nicely to stop talking about the Obamas touching fists.

WHOOMP (/WOOT) THERE IT IS!

JUST DO IT.

YO SON, GIMME A TERRORIST FIST-JAB...

Put this one in the running for one of Fox news' more ludicrous, idiotic stories of all time. "TERRORIST FIST-JAB??" -Are you fucking shitting me!?? Hey Fox, has this common gesture that's been around forever, ever been referred to as a 'terrorist fist-jab' prior to it being used to cast doubts on wether or not Obama is down with Al Quaida or not? They didn't even have any footage of supposed terrorists actually doing this 'fist-jab' to run alongside it to support their made-up bullshit allegation. Instead they juxtaposed it with pictures of Bush acting like a fucking moron... -Speaking of questionable gestures, while you were on the topic, why didn't you bother showing any pictures of any of the Bushs' throwing up the 'devil horns' constantly. This at least would be a curious dumb little story, considering they are devout 'Christians' and all... -Good 'Fair and Balanced' Journalism Fox.

APPARENTLY, OBAMA IS A MACKDADDY....WHO KNEW.

He pimps black women AND white women...-With 54 double D tits!! Jeesus... Religious people are nuts.