KABC's morning anchorwoman/ Jayne Mansfield look-alike, Leslie Miller dropping some serious knowledge. Peep today's mathematics:
"Thank you, Scott, for that riveting report on the sleeping man accidentally dumped into a garbage truck. I must admit that's always been a fear of mine, waking up to find myself tumbling from a Dumpster into a trash compactor just waiting to crush my hips like pretzels. Ow! Thankfully, I've never had a broken bone, but I have stubbed every one of my toes. Omigod--the worst was this time I was at a reception for Craig T. Nelson, the guy who played Coach on Coach, whom I've always thought was kinda attractive in an icky sort of way, and I was wearing these open-toe sandals, which were just adorable. Where are those? Anyway, Craig T. Nelson walks by and I think, "Okay, Leslie, it's now or never!" and I race around the buffet table. But before I get to him, this woman steps in front of me and it's Goldie Hawn! I'm so surprised I slam my foot into a table leg and scream something that isn't fit for broadcast, if you know what I mean, and Craig T. Nelson looks at me and Goldie Hawn looks at me and my toes are bleeding and I just want to die! So... yeah. Sleeping in Dumpsters is a terrible thing. Back to you, Scott."
2 comments:
They look cozy. They look safe. They look alone and available and like if you just climb inside and call that Dumpster "home sweet home" for the night, it will return every ounce of your love to you in spades. But it's not the case. Sleeping in dumpsters is indeed a bad thing.
Don't sleep, because sleeping in a dumpster is the cousin of death.
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