September 29, 2006
September 28, 2006
HOT ASIAN LISTENING TO A SHITTY RAP SONG ON HER IPOD. (REON KADENA)
It makes me want to manhandle my man handle.
September 27, 2006
Moustache-painting with Screech.
Tommy Lee, Kid Rock, Colin Farrell ... and Screech? If an alleged new sex tape is any indication, Dustin Diamond (aka Screech Powers from the classic sitcom "Saved By The Bell") isn't just a threesome-loving stud -- he gets down and dirty (and we mean dirty) with his hoochies.
TMZ has learned that a tape involving Diamond – who recently proclaimed to the world that he was completely broke – has allegedly surfaced in which the former TV star cavorts with two unidentified women. And even more shocking is an act that Diamond engages in with the women which involves bodily excretions and moustache-painting, known in sexual vernacular as the "Dirty Sanchez." TMZ learned of the allegation yesterday night, and called Screech's reps, who did not immediately return our calls.
Rush & Molloy report this morning that the tape is in the hands of Phoenix-based agent David Hans Schmidt, who has brokered other such celeb-skin deals, and that Schmidt is shopping the digital video tape around to Hustler and Vivid Video, among other outlets.
It might not exactly be Oscar-caliber work, but Diamond's manager, Roger Paul, seems to be at least a little happy about the development for his client. "Dustin has been trying to escape the Screech typecast. So this may help me get more bookings," says Paul, who says he hasn't seen the tape.
September 20, 2006
"LITTLE SUPERSTAR"
As of today, the United States is no longer the greatest country on earth.(video courtesy of Todd Bratrud ©)
LINDSAY LOHAN'S VAGINA
(Click to enlarge... But on second thought, don't.Trust me on this one...)
Well, there it is... Why dont you take a few moments to gather your thoughts; I'll wait...
So yeah; pretty fucking unsettling huh? Talk about 'much ado about nothing'. Out of all the mangy, scraggly, tore-up celebrity vaginas, this one takes the freaking cake. Nine times out of 10, I'm all for the 'Brazilian' wax, but sometimes you just gotta know when to hold 'em, and know when to fold 'em... -In this case, I gotta say -Lindsay, put some goddamn panties on! I'm sorry, but that's not the caliber of vagina you want the world to see. It looks like one of those old beat-down pleather beanbag chairs that you had in your basement when you were a kid. Now imagine that the beanbag chair has a bunch of cats that are constantly clawing at it. -There's all kinds of stuffing and shit coming out of it. You keep patching the thing up with duct tape. When it rains, your basement gets all humid and musty smelling and after a while, that thing is so fucking moldy and nasty, you just gotta chuck it. You put it out on the curb on garbage day, and a few weeks later, that fucking thing is festering in some landfill amongst old chicken bones, dirty diapers, and is swarming with rats. Apparently, that's the kind of vaj Lindsay Lohan's bringing to the table.
September 19, 2006
NEW!! VIDEO HOT ASIAN GIRL Du JOUR: HITOMI KITAMURA-REVISITED!!!
It is nothing short of a miracle how much time I am able to waste on the internet since YouTube hit the scene. That in itself is a miracle, considering how much time I was already wasting just doing this fucking blog in the first place. Now if you were to add videos of hot-ass Japanese girls prancing arond in skimpy clothes to the equation, you will find yourself smack dab in the middle of a perfect storm of non-productivity. Thus far, I had made it a point to never repeat the same Hot Asian girl Du Jour more than once, but when I came across these videos of last week's H.A.G.D.J -Hitomi Kitamura, that rule became about as played out as the Geneva Conventions during Bush's 'war on terror'.
September 15, 2006
A TRIBUTE TO THREE SIX MAFIA
When I'm not listening to Brotha Lynch, Franz Ferdinand or Dipset; the Grammy Award-winning Three 6 Mafia is in HEAVY rotation in the blaze yellow Aztek. I picked out 3 of my favorite cuts for your listening/ viewing pleasure; enjoy!
September 14, 2006
ASK SNICKERDOODLES
In the spirit of giving something back to my peoples, and all the citizens of the worldwide bloggosphere community, I have decided to start up a new section on L.O.A. called "Ask Snickerdoodles" - it's an advice column of sorts. In it, I will provide expert advice on a wide range of topics covering the entire spectum of lifes trials and tribulations. So drop me a line a let me know what's ovulating in your miserable pathetic little lives, and I'll do my best to skraiten ya'lls' shit out. So if you're in need of a life coach, or just have a problem and have no one else to turn to, -holla at your boy Snickerdoodles. SEND ALL QUESTIONS TO:lordsofapathy@gmail.com (make sure you type "ATTENTION SNICKERDOODLES" in the subject box)
This week's question comes from a regular commenter on the L.O.A. She asks:
Dear Snickerdoodles,
I'm a 23-year old female and I'm having problems trying to break into a better paying job. I don't want to sit a desk all day anymore and get paid nothing! I feel like I have all the experience in the world and everyone that's reviewed my resume says the same thing. I must be failing in interview process or my cover letter. What do you suggest I should do when I go into an interview? Or even how I should handle my cover letter? There has to be an answer out there, please help.
-Still Broke In Minneapolis.
Dear 'Still Broke',
Here's the deal, -and you gotta trust me on this one: -Having a job is like having a fucking girlfriend. At first you're all stoked, -like you're opening up some exciting new chapter in your life and all that... But after a while, that shit starts getting mad weak. That bitch wants to start dominating your life. It's like, you might want to go to Vegas with your homies for the weekend and spend the entire time buggin out on pot brownies, stuffing a few hundred dollars into various strippers butt cracks; -and what's this bitch gonna go and do?: -"What are you doing?" "When are you coming back?" "How come you didn't call me last night?" "Were you with another girl?".... -It's like BITCH, this aint 20 muthafuckin' questions...-Get off my dick already!! Jesus fucking Christ. -My name's not Keith, so could you please stop sweatin' me!!? But yeah... Having a job kinda sucks. One minute you think you're making all this money and shit, and then, before you know it, all that money's all gone. -You pay a couple of bills and your girlfriend wants you to buy her all this stupid-ass shit; but then she's like "Why do you have to work all the time?..." -BITCH!!! -These motherfucking Ugg boots dont grow on trees!!! So yeah, I dunno; try using a different font on your cover letter. Maybe wear a low-cut blouse to the interview. If that doesn't work, I guess just blow off the whole getting a job thing, and try to become some rich dude's girlfriend. From what I can tell, that seems to be the best job out there.
September 12, 2006
September 11, 2006
September 10, 2006
September 9, 2006
September 7, 2006
LOA EXCLUSIVE! UN-RETOUCHED PHOTOS OF BABY SURI!!
Awww.....How cute!! Finally what I know we've ALL been patiently waiting for -PICTURES OF TOM CRUISE AND KATIE HOLMES' BABY!! I was able to pull a few strings with my peeps over at Vanity Fair, and was able to obtain this un-edited version of their latest cover. Just before it went to print, Tomkat demanded that some slight airbrushing be done to the photo in order to obscure Suri's real identity...I'm not sure what his rationale for all that was, but dude is kinda koo-koo for cocoa puffs in the membrain so whatever. Anyhow, I was able to get the original pic and I think we can all agree that baby Suri definately has her mother's eyes and her father's nose and mouth...-and by that, i mean her "biological father" (-If ya know what I mean -but that's on the low-Holla back girl!!)
NEW -EXCLUSIVE LORDS OF APATHY SCREENSAVERS!!!
Jeah, -the L.O.A. is back up in this muthafucka with some fly-ass screensavers just in time for back to school. Peep game:
September 4, 2006
CROCODILE HUNTER DEAD AT 44
Steve Irwin, the hugely popular Australian television personality and conservationist known as the "Crocodile Hunter," was killed Monday by a stingray while filming off the Great Barrier Reef. He was 44. Irwin was at Batt Reef, off the remote coast of northeastern Queensland state, shooting a segment for a series called "Ocean's Deadliest" when he swam too close to one of the animals, which have a poisonous barb on their tails, his friend and colleague John Stainton said. "He came on top of the stingray and the stingray's barb went up and into his chest and put a hole into his heart," said Stainton, who was on board Irwin's boat at the time. Crew members aboard the boat, Croc One, called emergency services in the nearest city, Cairns, and administered CPR as they rushed the boat to nearby Low Isle to meet a rescue helicopter. Medical staff pronounced Irwin dead when they arrived a short time later, Stainton said. Irwin was famous for his enthusiasm for wildlife and his catchword "Crikey!" in his television program "Crocodile Hunter." First broadcast in Australia in 1992, the program was picked up by the Discovery network, catapulting Irwin to international celebrity. He rode his image into a feature film, 2002's "The Crocodile Hunters: Collision Course" and developed the wildlife park that his parents opened, Australia Zoo, into a major tourist attraction. "The world has lost a great wildlife icon, a passionate conservationist and one of the proudest dads on the planet," Stainton told reporters in Cairns. "He died doing what he loved best and left this world in a happy and peaceful state of mind. He would have said, 'Crocs Rule!'"
September 2, 2006
ARE YOU READY FOR SOME MOTHERFUCKING FOOTBALL!!??
Answer: YES. Yes I am. Finally; we are just one short week away from the regular season opener and the continuation of my love affair with the NFL. There's nothing better than shirking all of your lifes responsibilities on a crisp autumn sunday afternoon, and watching the Packers play at Lambeau field. It's gonna be a sad day in America when Favre decides to hang it up, and officially move on to football immortality; but until that day, I raise my glass of Robitussin in a toast to football fans everywhere... Cheers.
September 1, 2006
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