LORDS OF APATHY

November 6, 2007

A JOURNEY INTO JENKEM; PICKWICK'S MAGICAL VOYAGE INTO THE FECAL REALM

Well today I finally did it. I became probably the first person in America to huff his own shit gas. No video though, sorry, no camera. I hope you are not too disappointed. I could bet pictures though and I wrote a trip report.
Today the bubbles had mostly stopped. The balloon had possibly grown a little bit since last time but it was oblong from days in the sun or maybe from the gases inside so it was hard to tell. The shit in the bottle was very settled and did not look like shit anymore even.
I first lightly shook the bottle to make sure all of the bubbles had popped. I then pinched off the balloon and took it off of the top. I held that while I huffed from the bottle. After exhaling all air from my lungs I took my straw and inhaled from the inside of the bottle. The flavor of shit struck me, it stuck to the tongue like the flavor after smoking a cigar. My body wanted me to stop breathing it but I kept going by putting the end of the straw further back in my mouth, behind my tongue. I took a some more breaths of that and I waited a few seconds, then inhaled the balloon. The balloon was less harsh, I could barely taste any of it and it felt like breathing oxygen.
After breathing it in I immediately felt that I was passing out. I did not even have time to spit before I became unconscious. When I woke up my spittle had oozed out of my mouth and down my chin. I asked my friend how long I was out for. He said for about a minute, and that he had repeatedly tried to wake me but I would not wake up. During this short conversation I began to feel light dissociative effects come over me, accompanied by buzzing in my ears. The feeling got stronger and stronger until I felt like I was in a dream. This was somewhat enjoyable, it made me feel like nothing really mattered. The apathy actually made the rest of the trip more enjoyable.
After I was fully into the dream like state visual hallucinations began to start. I had fleeting visions of people who seemed completely random, like my second grade teacher. I would say something to the person and then he or she would disappear. Normally I would be fearful of trips like this but the dream feeling made it almost fun. Hearing was dulled during the trip, I could only hear what I was saying and some random noises like screeching and car noises. After I the effects wore off my friend told me that I was mostly talking in gibberish so I guess I couldn't hear my own voice anything in the outside world throughout the trip. At the peak of the trip I saw things like pillars in my lawn that disappeared and shapes in the sky. My sense of time was slowed, so the whole trip felt like it was shorter than it was.
The comedown was mostly auditory hallucinations, like voices and loud cracks. The dream like feeling lessened and I drifted back into reality. In the last parts of the trip I became paranoid from the noises because it felt real instead of like a dream. I asked my friend how long it had been. He said about 40 minutes. He also told me that I spent long periods of time staring at different spots. I also, according to him, spoke slurred works to trees and rocks. I was very surprised by how messed up the jenkem got me. That was higher than I have ever been. Other drugs distort reality, but jenkem really distorts reality. I was almost completely unaware of my surroundings. My friend said that seeing me was scary and he was thinking of getting an adult. Thank god he didn't do that.
In conclusion: was it enjoyable: no, not really. Would I do it again? Defiantly not. Would I recommend another person to try it? I wouldn't to anyone who I am close to. If you are very adventurous and would try anything then I guess you should try jenkem. But know that the preparation is not made worthwhile by the trip.

(Read the whole story in it's entirety at totse.com)

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