MITT ROMNEY: TOO BLACK TOO STRONG

Spicy latin lover Mittito Romnirez went on Univision the other day with this wierd reverse-raccoon lifeguard brownface tan.  This was an obvious/ clueless/ shameless pander to latino voters while at the same time leaving himself a very plausible excuse if it happened to blow up in his brown-ass face.  The fact that he had his make-up lady apply the bronzer only to his forehead and the lower half of his face was actually pretty clever. -By leaving the equator region of his face it's natural shade of Mormon, it left the "This is a legit tan, -see my sunglasses tan-line" alibi wide open. -BRILLIANT!

Oh, and by the way; Who the FUCK let the doggz out my ninjas?

Cave Canem

At the risk of placing the final nail in the coffin of Keyboard Cat Mania, I would be remiss if I did not share this clip. Big shout out to the parent who thought it was a good idea to show his spaz kid getting raped by a dog on Youtube.

Public speaking 101

FUCK YEAH!!!

If there's one thing that gets your boy Snickerdoodles PUMPED it's the Westminster Dog Show! Fuck Yeah, -this year's competition was off the hook yo! Dog vs dog, dog eat dog, -to quote our boy Mitt Romney -"Who Let the Dogs Out!!?? (woof woof)". Hell yeah...Although if you ask me, the poodle got robbed...-Did you see the gate on that muthafucka!? -Shit was no joke son.

MITT ROMNEY CAN RELATE TO BLACK PEOPLE

What does one of the leading Republican candidates do when he's suddenly surrounded by black people? Recite the words to the only "rap song" he knows.