EITHER / OR round one:Allright here it is folks. We've got a brand new interactive game for the site. This is the extreme, 'virtual' version of the classic "EITHER / OR" game, where you you present someone with an impossible lose/lose situation, and the person has to make a choice between worst and REALLY WORST. For example, imagine a presidential election between George W. Bush and lets just say... -Scott Peterson. I mean... It could go either way really...Like yeah, Peterson murdered his pregnant wife and unborn child, but shit, he might have some really good ideas on foriegn policy? I dunno, I can't even call it...
So here we go, ROUND 1- your situation is:
Both Anne Coulter and Kelly Osbourne are completely obsessed with you- they're both total nymphos and want your cock in the worst way possible. You must pick one of them, and be in an intimate monogamous sexual relationship with her for exactly one year. If you are able to complete your mission, you will recieve 100 million dollars (tax-free) in an offshore Swiss bank account. If not, you and every member of your family (grandparents too) will be savagely beaten to death with shovels and bats, and then buried in a cornfield (like that Joe Pesci scene from the movie Casino). For many of you, I suspect that this may be one of the most difficult choices you will ever have to make, but therein lies the beauty of the game.
Go on the record and state your choices and reasons for your decision in the comments section below. (Please leave your name or alias at the end if you have not already established yourself as a regular on the blog)
12 comments:
Man, I was really thinking about this one for a while. My whole rationale was "Well, at least with Kelly Osbourne you'd get to hang out with Ozzy for a little bit and not have to buy dinner for someone who wrote a book entitled 'How to Talk to a Liberal... If You Must,'" but then I reintroduced myself to that Kelly Osbourne photo and almost barfed on myself.
That said, I'd still choose Kelly.
I'm taking Kelly.
It's really the lesser of two evil cunts, but the upside of Kelly is that she's younger, fatter, richer and probably thinks she likes the mud people. As far as Coulter goes, it's the applying of personal lubricants to that dry lifeless vagina that cancels her out, that and her awesome politics.
Lest we forget the enormous t-bone steaks which are Ann Coulter's hands.
Having sex with Coulter would be like fighting the team of evil, scimitar-wielding animated skeletons from The Seventh Voyage of Sinbad.
I'll take Ann Coulter, and stay out of public with her.
I would take Ann, just because i know we'll duke it out everynite....and then after we will have the nastiest sex on the planet...and she will take as i serve it out... after all, opposites atract. ;) PYSANO...MSK...LTS...T7L...LOA
Propers out to the think tank team behind this show. That said RasTroy don wanna ruff up de pumpum on no Rightwing bumbaclot devil.
You know Kelly has the bomb sensimilla. And you can fuck in the hollywood ring after the years over.
BAK-UP BO! BO!.
I would like to respectfully likkashot pon knowledge and respect pon the pure wisdom dropped by mi fellow rasclot and bless the fatty Osborne poom poom.
Respkt. Clappashot!!
i'd take Kelly. she's rich and knows where the coke is. hell, she is where the coke is.
http://images.absolutenow.com/rp/Kelly_Osbou66627061.jpg
come on. it'd be like my dick was doing community service or something. you know, giving back to the community and isn't that what it's all about?
i'd just play act like my dick got popped doing 110 in front of a school for the blind or something. at least it wouldn't have to watch those "blood on the highway" movies like I did. prick.
oh, and the shit that the Pesci scene was based on actually took place within 2 miles of my grandparents farm. i almost forgot to type that part in.
Imma roll with Mr. Nasty Raps et al on this one--
At least you could hatefuck on Twiggy McBilecooch for a good year without thinking you've been pounding Krusty the Clown in the dook shooter.
And as fatal to any shreds of sanity as that may be, 100 mil buys a lot of therapy, an island, and scads of nekkid AZN chicks to overwrite those memories good and thorough-like.
I DIDNT HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT AT ALL.COULTER ALL THE WAY!
KELLY YOU COULD MAKE BANK OFF THE SEX TAPE ,INVITE YOUR FRIENDS AND CALL IT CRAZY TRAIN 06
OOOOOOOHHHHH. Mr. Serv On snatching that one right out from under our collective noses..."CRAZY TRAIN '06" -That's what's up!!! And if you really wanted to capitalize $$$-wise you could have Ann Coulter as a special guest 'fluffer' for everyone who's waiting to tag-in on Kelly. And for those who dont think that sticking your wang in Coulter's sewer-esque mouth would be a turn-on, maybe they can just sit there snuffing-out cigarette butts and highway flares on her back. -I know that'd give me a diamond-cutter boner.
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