July 24, 2008
Let me just say this up front. I'm fairly drunk right now, so if what I'm saying right now doesn't make an ounce of sense, then just disregard it. I was just at the Mickey Avalon show at the Grove in Anaheim tonight; and in order to camouflage my severe social anxiety, I decided to throw back a bakers dozen or so vodka-oriented drinks in order to make my life seem quasi-tolerable for a few hours. One of the conversations I remember having this evening was with my boss's wife who mentioned how I claimed to have invented the side-hug. In my mind, I already hold the international copyright on the side-hug. -However; in reality, I'm pretty sure I just adopted a fundamental move in a regular person's arsenal of normal social interactions. For those of you who are not familiar with what I'm talking about, the 'side-hug' is the move where you slide up next to somebody where you are both facing the same direction (I.E. NOT each other) and rock the one-armed 'side hug'. I can't say enough about it... It's fucking brilliant. I'm a walking trainwreck socially. I cannot function in the most basic situations. I hate most forms of communication; -especially in the form of physical contact. I don't like touching people, or being touched... -that is, unless we're both naked, and one of us (I.E. -not me) is hot and or asian. Because of this, the side-hug takes the edge off considerably.