LORDS OF APATHY

January 14, 2009

CHUD OR NO CHUD?: MADONNA EDITION

Here it is you fucks. Prepare to get your collective wigs peeled back and wrap your disgusting minds around this special '09 'Chud or No Chud' discussion. So seriously dude...-Real talk; would you/ could you bone Madonna? I'm gonna also put forth the stipulation that you don't get any fringe benefits out of the deal; no money, no media exposure, no Yankees tickets -nothing. It's just you, and a present-day Madonna, holed-up in some random Holiday Inn bone chamber.
(Click image to enlarge)
A few rules for your evaluation:
The chud-spectrum breaks down into 3 general categories: 1.Hot 2.Chud, and 3.Sub-Chud
• The Hot category is a no-brainer. Everyone and their dad would hit that. -Think Vida Guerra.
• In the Chud category, there's a glimmer of something there. You can't quite put your finger on what it is, but most likely you'd put your dick on what it is...-provided that shit stays on Downlow. -Think Sarah Jessica Parker.
• Sub-Chud is pretty self explanatory; It's not happening...-EVER. No way, no how. -Think Ann Coulter.

In the Comments section below, please leave your stance on where you think Madonna falls on the chud-spectrum and site reasons for your decision. We will be scientifically compiling this data to come up with the official verdict as to weather or not she is indeed a chud or not. Good luck contestants!!

25 comments:

kyle green said...

o.k if i came home from the bar and i had the perfect amount of liquor combo/had a really good week/was feeling kinda sorry for myself/was feeling really lonely/was feeling very adventurous and secretive/ had been huffing glue all week then yes, FUCK YES!

Anonymous said...

No chance. As recently as 2 years ago, I would have pulled the trigger based solely on her past appearance. Now, I have to think that banging her is like fucking sheet metal and barbed wire.

Anonymous said...

super sub-chud

T.H.L.A.T. (can't spell) said...

fuck it. based on what i know of Madonna (which isn't much, i don't really like rap music) i haven't ever thought she was attractive. ever. especially these days, i'm not even sure how to put her looks into words, BUT... i gotta be honest, based on the image of old Madonna on the "Chud or No Chud" graphic, id do it based on how rad her hair looks alone. and i KNOW thats a bad decision, but i'm just being honest here people. this is LOfuckingA, if we cant be honest in the LOA comments area, where CAN we be honest. its gotta start somewhere.

i say CHUD based on hair in the image, sub-chud based on her entire existence.

Anonymous said...

CHUD, no doubt. You fucking pussies wouldn't stab her pussy? I saw her on the news the other day and her body is actually pretty bangin for the age. Can I do anal in this fantasy question? If so it's a no brainer.

typoscura said...

I'm going straight hot based on my mental perception at the moment, and past achievements in pop stardom. She could look like a panzer tank and i'd still be into just so long as she sings me "borderline" or "luckystar" during sex.

El Scumador said...

chud, just to say you did. I mean, I wouldn't enjoy it. I imagine that gine to be like an ashtray of already smoked dicks.

Anonymous said...

CHUD. I could still go there. But I'd rather do a corps 2 weeks into DECOMP than see Ann Coulter naked. And her mind is even uglier than her body!

scoopy f. baby said...

I had a friend describe a girl sayin, she does everything but sex..

im thinking that madonna would be down for what i like to call everything-buttsex. no holds barred, buttfuckathon. CHUD!

Phonejaxx A.K.A. Black Squirrel Alliance said...

CHUD. But who's not guilty of some good honest CHUDFUCKING now and again.

Emmanuel said...

Sub-chud. Not only do gap-tooth broads remind me of my crazy ex, but I never want to be known as the guy who got Vanilla Ice's sloppy seconds.

MAC said...

Sub-chud, for the record.

C-Rocka said...

Chud-although I bet her pussy is all stretched out and wrinkly...

Logan Lott said...

I'm bored, why not?

platinumseagulls said...

Standard CHUD.

disco boy said...

sub-chud. my goal is to never go where dennis rodman has been.

Anonymous said...

Front all you want, she wrote the book on it.
And bottom line is:
On principal alone -CHUD

Snickerdoodles McPoppycock said...

Madonna wrote a book on Chuds? -NO WAY!!

sean said...

I'd hit Madge in a second.

honkeykong.com said...

CHUD as long as shes not rockin the old eyebrows, and flapjacks. I'd do it strickly for high 5's, girls with 1 name give me the shivers

boozin sarandon said...

sub-chud...unless i could close that vast expanse between her teeth with a pair of pliers first..shit, i dont know, maybe. yea. chud.

p.s. i had to stop what i was doing and jerk off to that picture of vida guerra with the ice cream cone before i could even consider this decision with a clear head..

Chef Rykwon said...

Never. Sub CHUD. That picture of her in the wife beater made me think of the first time I ate frog legs and that in turn reminded me of the first time I cooked frog legs and how the smell of raw frog legs is a cross between stagnant water, salty fish and chicken. Madonna smells like that all the time, but with a thin coating of Chanel No.5 which just creates an atmosphere of a just used bathroom. Once you take the money out of the equation, it's just not worth it. You can't polish a turd.

Math said...

Sub-Chud. If she wasnt Madonna then maybe but knowing where that cockcave has been I'm not down.

Cesar said...

Id have to be pretty fucking smashed to battle this beast! Im talking about strapped head to toe...battle armor, ready to take on the toxic wasteland that is donnas vagina. Even astro glide wont guarantee an easy way out of this one. CHUD! But borderline SUB CHUD for sure.

almightysultan said...

There is No Fucking Way I would Hit That!

SUB-CHUD ALL THE WAY