ALEX RODRIGUEZ IS AN UNDERACHIEVER

I'm really not trying to be a hater here... I'm sure Cameron Diaz is a lovely person and all that; -but c'mon dude... Really?  When she was younger, she had a few glimmers of something resembling hot, but is this  the best you can do? Granted, this is a huge upgrade from your last boo, the 'crypt keeper' cougar Madonna, but is this really the example you want to be setting for kids? You're supposed to be a role model.  All I'm saying is, if I was a handsome, famous, multi-jillionaire, high-profile athlete, I'd think of significantly upping my dick game.  Holler at your boy Dereck Jeter (Who's literally 'batting' 1000 in this category)  and soccer guy Christiano Ronaldo.  Those motherfuckers don't play; -strictly dimepieces... Look, YOUR NICKNAME IS MOTHERFUCKING "A-ROD" for Christ's sake!!! -To me that means your 'Rod' needs to be exclusively reserved for 'A'-list ass. 

Just saying dude, get your shit together...

A quick side-note here: The above is a picture of Cameron shoveling popcorn into A-rod's failure-hole from the Superbowl yesterday. My girlfriend pointed out that Diaz looks exactly like Packers' Linebacker AJ Hawk:

HOW FUCKING CREEPY/ ACCURATE IS THAT?? I think ESPN needs to bring her on as an analyst for pointing out who NFL players resemble.  Her skills are impeccable!

CHUD OR NO CHUD?: MADONNA EDITION

Here it is you fucks. Prepare to get your collective wigs peeled back and wrap your disgusting minds around this special '09 'Chud or No Chud' discussion. So seriously dude...-Real talk; would you/ could you bone Madonna? I'm gonna also put forth the stipulation that you don't get any fringe benefits out of the deal; no money, no media exposure, no Yankees tickets -nothing. It's just you, and a present-day Madonna, holed-up in some random Holiday Inn bone chamber.
(Click image to enlarge)
A few rules for your evaluation:
The chud-spectrum breaks down into 3 general categories: 1.Hot 2.Chud, and 3.Sub-Chud
• The Hot category is a no-brainer. Everyone and their dad would hit that. -Think Vida Guerra.
• In the Chud category, there's a glimmer of something there. You can't quite put your finger on what it is, but most likely you'd put your dick on what it is...-provided that shit stays on Downlow. -Think Sarah Jessica Parker.
• Sub-Chud is pretty self explanatory; It's not happening...-EVER. No way, no how. -Think Ann Coulter.

In the Comments section below, please leave your stance on where you think Madonna falls on the chud-spectrum and site reasons for your decision. We will be scientifically compiling this data to come up with the official verdict as to weather or not she is indeed a chud or not. Good luck contestants!!

MADONNA'S MUSIC IS HORRIBLE.

I didn't bother posting a corresponding audio or video to reinforce my point; I just wanted to make that fact clear. I was thinking about posting a recent picture of Madonna, but then I realized that she's a horrific mess to look at as well. A fabulously scary, elderly, veiny, pasty, muscley, turned-out on Kabbalah and Pilates, visual nightmare.