CHUD OR NO CHUD?: SHARON BIALEK

Here it is you sick fucks. Prepare to get your collective wigs peeled back as you try to wrap your disgusting minds around this special 2011 'Chud or No Chud' discussion. Seriously; real talk, -would you bone, Sharon Bialek, The latest of Herman 'Big Daddy' Cain's sexual harassment accusers? It is important to note that this is a tricky one, you might want to delve deeper into a google image search before you make your final verdict... Good luck.

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A few rules for your evaluation:The chud-spectrum breaks down into 3 general categories: 1.Hot 2.Chud, and 3.Sub-Chud• The Hot category is a no-brainer. Everyone and their dad would hit that. -Think Cassie.• In the Chud category, there's a glimmer of something there. You can't quite put your finger on what it is, but most likely you'd put your dick on what it is- (so long as that shit stays on Downlow.) -Think Soledad O'Brien  • Sub-Chud is pretty self explanatory; It's not happening...-EVER. No way, no how. -Think Gloria Allred. In the Comments section below, please leave your stance on where you think Sharon Bialek falls on the chud-spectrum and site reasons for your decision. We will be scientifically compiling this data to come up with the official verdict as to weather or not she is indeed a chud or not. Good luck contestants, BRING IT!!

The only toy I'm talking about this X-(clan)-Mas

Fisher Price 938 Little People Sesame Street Playset. Comes with Trash Truck, Oscar in Trash can, Sesame Street sign, Big Bird and nest, Mailbox (might be a JUNIOR 161 tag on there, not sure). I am sure the "brownstone" is pretty spot on for details in upper Manhattan circa 1974, Except the absence of graff, but there's a wall in the back made of discarded doors, a spanish bodega, boxes and trash piled up in the back under the wall of doors, and a broken basement window. wow. I need to find the fisher price Travis Bickle© playset that would compliment this perfectly.

CHUD OR NO CHUD?: KELLY OSBOURNE

A great man once said: "The true essence of' Chud or No Chud' lies in it's power to make us all dredge the depths of our sexual depravity. It makes us publicly confront the parameters of who we'd bone, in spite of subjecting yourself to the scorn and ridicule of your peers."
-Snickerdoodles McPoppycock Esquire

I believe that right here, right now, we as a people can do something critically important to shape the future of our world. It is not enough for us to just sit idly by and let others decide which marginally attractive entertainers or television personalities are chuds and which are subchuds. We must seize the opportunity, and make these petty, frivolous judgements for ourselves. Who among you has the guts and integrity to man up, stand with me, and take this week's 'Chud or No Chud© ' challenge? (Click image to enlarge the horror)
In many ways, Kelly Osbourne embodies everything that sickens me about humanity. Her rise to fame is emblematic of a generation where you you can be a famous celebrity despite not having done jack dick. Try explaining to a young kid the merits of hard work and perseverance after they've just watched an episode of 'My Super Sweet 16'. Imagine growing up in a world where for some reason we happen to know who Kelly Osbourne even is, solely based on the fact that her now quivering irrelevant mumbling dad was semi-cool like 30 years ago... -Yeah dude, You're the "Prince of Darkness" -I remember you telling me on MTV2 and that Verizon commercial. -Seriously dude, just stoppit already...

Anyways, this brings me to the thesis question of this thing. -Would you bone Kelly Osbourne? Nobody's got to know. -Your possibly a little bit drunk on a thursday night and feelin lonely... Despite her disgusting, gothic, chubby, pasty, Sammy Sosa-esque, face of hers; -about a foot south of that monstrosity, lies some pretty major juggs... It is what it is people, I calls it like I sees it. -That's just what she brings to the table. I present you the facts and I let you sort it out.

A few rules for your evaluation:
The chud-spectrum breaks down into 3 general categories: 1.Hot 2.Chud, and 3.Sub-Chud:
• The Hot category is a no-brainer. Everyone and their dad would hit that. -Think Emanuelle Chirqui...
• In the Chud category, there's a glimmer of something there. You can't quite put your finger on what that is, but most likely you'd put your dick on what that is...-(provided that shit stays on Downlow.) -Think Kelly Clarkson
• Sub-Chud is pretty self explanatory; It's not happening...-EVER. No way, no how. -think Republican congresswoman Michelle Bachman.

In the Comments section below, please leave your stance on where you think Kelly Osbourne falls on the chud-spectrum, and site reasons for your decision. We will be scientifically compiling this data to come up with the official verdict as to weather or not she is indeed a chud or not. Good luck everybody!!

SLANG UPDATE: ZERO BONER (Z.B.)

From the blog that brought you 'Chud' comes the latest in cutting edge EXTREME slang: 'Zero Boner (Z.B.)' We're still deliberating what the definition is, or what context it should be used in. If you guys have any suggestions lets hear it. -Holler in the comments section and lets make it official.

CHUD OR NO CHUD?: JEWISH AMERICAN PRINCESS FROM THE CASH 4 GOLD COMMERCIAL

The true essence of' Chud or No Chud' lies in it's power to make us all dredge the depths of our sexual depravity. It makes us publicly confront the parameters of who we'd bone, in spite of subjecting yourself to the scorn and ridicule of your peers. In this regard, I think we all owe a huge debt of gratitude to former President Bill Clinton for bringing the issue of "chud-hopping" to the forefront of American consciousness. In the rich tradition of President Clinton and so many other unsung chud-fuckers, I ask that you join me in breaking down this week's Chud or No Chud challenge. (Click image to enlarge)

Selecting candidates for 'Chud or No Chud' is no easy task. It's a delicate balancing act weighing the traditional societal standards of beauty, against your own shameful sexual deviance. This week's candidate has been haunting me for a few months now. I'm not sure how this came about, but there's always been something about those annoying middle-aged whiny, J.A.P. broads that i'm feeling; -but the real decision lies with you. -All you have to do is go on the record and state where the Tax 4 Gold chick rates on our official chud rating system (see definition below). In order to get a better sense of what we're working with, I think It's best to see her within the context of the actual Cash 4 Gold commercial. If you want to skip ahead, her part is at the 0:36 second mark on the video.A few rules for your evaluation:
The chud-spectrum breaks down into 3 general categories: 1.Hot 2.Chud, and 3.Sub-Chud
• The Hot category is a no-brainer. Everyone and their dad would hit that. -Think Raquel Welch in the movie 'One Million Years B.C."
• In the Chud category, there's a glimmer of something there. You can't quite put your finger on what it is, but most likely you'd put your dick on what it is...-provided that shit stays on Downlow. -Think Sporty Spice.
• Sub-Chud is pretty self explanatory; It's not happening...-EVER. No way, no how. -Think Barbara Bush.

In the Comments section below, please leave your stance on where you think the Cash 4 Gold lady falls on the chud-spectrum, and site reasons for your decision. We will be scientifically compiling this data to come up with the official verdict as to weather or not she is indeed a chud or not. Good luck everybody!!

CHUD OR NO CHUD?: MADONNA EDITION

Here it is you fucks. Prepare to get your collective wigs peeled back and wrap your disgusting minds around this special '09 'Chud or No Chud' discussion. So seriously dude...-Real talk; would you/ could you bone Madonna? I'm gonna also put forth the stipulation that you don't get any fringe benefits out of the deal; no money, no media exposure, no Yankees tickets -nothing. It's just you, and a present-day Madonna, holed-up in some random Holiday Inn bone chamber.
(Click image to enlarge)
A few rules for your evaluation:
The chud-spectrum breaks down into 3 general categories: 1.Hot 2.Chud, and 3.Sub-Chud
• The Hot category is a no-brainer. Everyone and their dad would hit that. -Think Vida Guerra.
• In the Chud category, there's a glimmer of something there. You can't quite put your finger on what it is, but most likely you'd put your dick on what it is...-provided that shit stays on Downlow. -Think Sarah Jessica Parker.
• Sub-Chud is pretty self explanatory; It's not happening...-EVER. No way, no how. -Think Ann Coulter.

In the Comments section below, please leave your stance on where you think Madonna falls on the chud-spectrum and site reasons for your decision. We will be scientifically compiling this data to come up with the official verdict as to weather or not she is indeed a chud or not. Good luck contestants!!

CHUD OR NO CHUD?: KATE WINSLET EDITION

Welcome to round 2 of LOA's award-winning (/Josh Lazcano's favorite) gameshow 'Chud or No Chud'!! Based on the amount of responses left in the comments section of the last installment of 'Chud or No Chud', it proved to be one of LOA's most popular posts ever! In fact, the only other post to receive more comments was the one about Sanjaya's sister.
Basically, the point of this game is to try to separate the chuds from the non-chuds. For those of you who need a refresher on what the definition of a true chud is; -a 'chud' is a woman that is of questionable attractiveness, but despite her obvious physical flaws, you'd still be down to bone. The main determinant factor in a woman being a chud is not based on her perceived attractiveness, but rather, how ashamed you'd be to admit it to your friends. In this competition, you have to try to remove the 'famous factor' from the equation and evaluate her physical chudworthiness on it's own merits.(Click image to enlarge)
A few rules for your evaluation:
The chud-spectrum breaks down into 3 general categories: 1.Hot 2.Chud, and 3.Sub-Chud
• The Hot category is a no-brainer. Everyone and their dad would hit it. -Think Rosario Dawson.
• In the Chud category, there's a glimmer of something there. You can't quite put your finger on what it is, but most likely you'd put your dick on what it is...-provided that shit stays on Downlow. -Think Christina Ricci.
• Sub-Chud is pretty self explanatory; It's not happening...-EVER. No way, no how. -Think Kelly Osbourne.

In the Comments section below, please leave your stance on where you think Kate Winslet falls on the chud-spectrum and site reasons for your decision. We will be scientifically compiling this data to come up with the official verdict as to weather or not she is indeed a chud or not. Good luck contestants!!

BONER JAMZ IN EFFECT

Had to take it back with this one. Basically this is the jam
you drop when shits poppin off at the crib with the CHUD
you brought home from the local elks lodge/vfw/bowling alley/
strip mall etc.

I recommend you drop this one when you're about to pass
her that Mickey's Shorty and or modified Dutch Master.

Oops Bang Boom Pow Surprise.

CAMERON DIAZ; CHUD or NO CHUD?

Introducing LOA's new gameshow, 'Chud or No Chud'! Basically, the point of this game is to try to separate the chuds from the non-chuds. For those of you who need a refresher on what the definition of a true chud is; -a 'chud' is a woman that is of questionable attractiveness, but despite her obvious physical flaws, you'd still be down to bone. The main determinant factor in a woman being a chud is not based on her perceived attractiveness, but rather, how ashamed you'd be to admit it to your friends. In this competition, you have to try to remove the 'famous factor' from the equation and evaluate her physical chudworthiness on it's own merits. (Click image to enlarge)
A few rules for your evaluation:
The chud-spectrum breaks down into 3 general categories: 1.Hot 2.Chud, and 3.Sub-Chud
• The Hot category is a no-brainer. Everyone and their dad would hit it. -Think Jessica Alba.
• In the Chud category, there's a glimmer of something there. You can't quite put your finger on what it is, but most likely you'd put your dick on what it is...-provided that shit stays on Downlow. -Think Juliette Lewis.
• Sub-Chud is pretty self explanatory; It's not happening...-EVER. No way, no how. -Think Star Jones.

In the Comments section below, please leave your stance on where you think Cameron Diaz falls on the chud-spectrum and site reasons for your decision. We will be scientifically compiling this data to come up with the official verdict as to weather or not she is indeed a chud or not. Good luck contestants!!

CHUDDY CHUD IN THE BUILDING!!