There may be debate as to who the lowest man on the totem pole is in terms of retarded subcultures. But for the moment, let's evaluate two. I recently came across the SteamPunk culture while on a trip to Berkeley (weird, huh). They speak with terrible British accents. They refer to garbage as "rubbish", and trash cans as "rubbish tins". I overheard one steampunk say to another steampunk, "Clockwork cufflinks!?! Seems to be all the rage these days." All these dudes are from the west coast, i doubt a british steam punk exists. And they also like to wear goggles on top of their top hats. Juggalos don't really need as much of a description. They've had years to get noticed. I realize this isn't a fair fight in the physical sense. The SteamPunks are a bunch of corset wearing fancy lads. The juggalos thrive on wrestling and teen pregnancy. But who's worse? Would you rather be the son, or daughter, of a SteamPunk? or a Juggalo? Pick your side.
June 22, 2009
SteamPunks VS. Juggalos
There may be debate as to who the lowest man on the totem pole is in terms of retarded subcultures. But for the moment, let's evaluate two. I recently came across the SteamPunk culture while on a trip to Berkeley (weird, huh). They speak with terrible British accents. They refer to garbage as "rubbish", and trash cans as "rubbish tins". I overheard one steampunk say to another steampunk, "Clockwork cufflinks!?! Seems to be all the rage these days." All these dudes are from the west coast, i doubt a british steam punk exists. And they also like to wear goggles on top of their top hats. Juggalos don't really need as much of a description. They've had years to get noticed. I realize this isn't a fair fight in the physical sense. The SteamPunks are a bunch of corset wearing fancy lads. The juggalos thrive on wrestling and teen pregnancy. But who's worse? Would you rather be the son, or daughter, of a SteamPunk? or a Juggalo? Pick your side.
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I've written about my own experience with Juggalos (SEE ALSO: Gathering of the Juggalos) and I'd rather be born and raised in a Steampunk world than live a single day in a Jugallo shoe.
Or as Bob Dylan famously asked, "How many Faygo's must a man guzzle down, before you can call him a Juggalo?"
All the research you need to answer the complex question at hand can be found here: http://www.viceland.com/int/v14n10/htdocs/land_of_juggalos.php?country=us
I think this quote sums up the Juggalo lifestyle for me: "He’ll eat Monopoly and shit out Connect Four." -ICP
Since playing with old clock parts sounds like more of my cup of tea than doing crystal meth with teens, I gotta go with Steam Punk.
Stay up.
-ABC
steampunk is a fantasy subculture and juggalos is female term given by the insane clown posse. there is no debate here. steampunk.
Eazzzzzy Steampunk...
Maybe LOA should host a tournament of worst (best?) juvenile subcultures. Maybe an 8 team bracket including steampunk, juggalos, cosplay, furry, LARPer and others. What say you, Snick?
I believe a female juggalo is actually called a "juggalette". Also, i think it should be taken into consideration, that if you're raised SteamPunk, you're going to have to start calling people "gov'nor", and whenever you see a modern invention like a TV, you'll have to pull down your goggles for further examination and remark, "Curious!". You'll also have to say "I say!" constantly. You'll say things like "that flying machine (aeroplane) is mad as a hatter!". You're kinda being raised as a Victorian caveman. I think growing up juggalo might be easier. Less rules, Less education, Guaranteed sexual intercourse by the age of 12 (juggalettes are certified whores).
Egad! I think that would be a splendifferous idea gov'na. Perchance You and the nobelman Kid Lover could collaborate? Smashing, simply Smashing!
Egads olde chap, I am not responsible for this rubbish, but merely provide the conduit for which it has crossed thine eyes. And at that, I bid you goode day sir. -I SAID GOODE DAY SIR!!!
The question is, will a steampunk dead baby funeral be as tragically hilarious as the juggalo baby funeral?
I dunno, but we need to find out...
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