LORDS OF APATHY

June 22, 2009

SteamPunks VS. Juggalos

There may be debate as to who the lowest man on the totem pole is in terms of retarded subcultures. But for the moment, let's evaluate two. I recently came across the SteamPunk culture while on a trip to Berkeley (weird, huh). They speak with terrible British accents. They refer to garbage as "rubbish", and trash cans as "rubbish tins". I overheard one steampunk say to another steampunk, "Clockwork cufflinks!?! Seems to be all the rage these days." All these dudes are from the west coast, i doubt a british steam punk exists. And they also like to wear goggles on top of their top hats. Juggalos don't really need as much of a description. They've had years to get noticed. I realize this isn't a fair fight in the physical sense. The SteamPunks are a bunch of corset wearing fancy lads. The juggalos thrive on wrestling and teen pregnancy. But who's worse? Would you rather be the son, or daughter, of a SteamPunk? or a Juggalo? Pick your side.

12 comments:

Scott said...

I've written about my own experience with Juggalos (SEE ALSO: Gathering of the Juggalos) and I'd rather be born and raised in a Steampunk world than live a single day in a Jugallo shoe.

Or as Bob Dylan famously asked, "How many Faygo's must a man guzzle down, before you can call him a Juggalo?"

Ari said...

All the research you need to answer the complex question at hand can be found here: http://www.viceland.com/int/v14n10/htdocs/land_of_juggalos.php?country=us

I think this quote sums up the Juggalo lifestyle for me: "He’ll eat Monopoly and shit out Connect Four." -ICP

Since playing with old clock parts sounds like more of my cup of tea than doing crystal meth with teens, I gotta go with Steam Punk.

Stay up.

-ABC

Chef Rykwon said...

I'd have to side with the Steampunks. But only if I could be like Wesley Snipes in Blade and and get into both worlds and like waste motherfuckers.

Anonymous said...

steampunk is a fantasy subculture and juggalos is female term given by the insane clown posse. there is no debate here. steampunk.

C-Rocka said...

Eazzzzzy Steampunk...

Detroit Murder Dog said...

Maybe LOA should host a tournament of worst (best?) juvenile subcultures. Maybe an 8 team bracket including steampunk, juggalos, cosplay, furry, LARPer and others. What say you, Snick?

Kid Lover said...

I believe a female juggalo is actually called a "juggalette". Also, i think it should be taken into consideration, that if you're raised SteamPunk, you're going to have to start calling people "gov'nor", and whenever you see a modern invention like a TV, you'll have to pull down your goggles for further examination and remark, "Curious!". You'll also have to say "I say!" constantly. You'll say things like "that flying machine (aeroplane) is mad as a hatter!". You're kinda being raised as a Victorian caveman. I think growing up juggalo might be easier. Less rules, Less education, Guaranteed sexual intercourse by the age of 12 (juggalettes are certified whores).

Snickerdoodles McPoppycock said...

Egad! I think that would be a splendifferous idea gov'na. Perchance You and the nobelman Kid Lover could collaborate? Smashing, simply Smashing!

Anonymous said...

could someone please explain where the PUNK comes from. I guess I fear change because the whole steampunk thing is freaking me out a lot worse than the juggalos. At least a juggalo has an identity, a steampunk on the other hand...british accents,armor, top hats? what the fuck. They are far scarier, these rejected intellectuals have distanced themselves from the herd and formed a very small and peculier group. Some of them will no doubt grow up to become bloodsucking politicians set out on extinguishing the fire in the hearts of men. right right right?
fuck, i dont even know what im talking about anymore this whole thing is confusing, fuck you for bringing this to light snickerdoodles........bastard.

Snickerdoodles McPoppycock said...

Egads olde chap, I am not responsible for this rubbish, but merely provide the conduit for which it has crossed thine eyes. And at that, I bid you goode day sir. -I SAID GOODE DAY SIR!!!

Anonymous said...

The question is, will a steampunk dead baby funeral be as tragically hilarious as the juggalo baby funeral?

Snickerdoodles McPoppycock said...

I dunno, but we need to find out...