(Gaddafi in mid-collar-pop at the United Nations)
Libyan leader Colonel Muammar el-Qaddafi (otherwise known as Muammar Abuminyar al-Qaddafi Guide of the First September Great Revolution of the Socialist People’s Libyan Arab Jamahiriya), gave his first ever address to the U.N. this week speaking for 94 minutes and illuminating a host of topics including the assassinations of John F. Kennedy and Martin Luther King Jr. He touched on the 1983 U.S. invasion of Grenada. He alleged that swine flu may have been created for military purposes and wondered aloud why the U.N. hasn’t been more successful preventing 65 violent wars that have occurred since its inception, when the stated goal of the U.N. is to maintain peace among member countries. He called the U.N.’s permanent five-member Security Council the “terror council,” even though Libya is one of the rotating members of the Security Council until the end of 2010. He even tore a copy of the U.N. Charter. Qaddafi was eventually cut off after far exceeding his 15-minute time allotment, but if allowed to continue he would likely have gotten around to espousing his ideas on string theory and lamenting Kanye’s affront to Ms. Swift at the VMAs among other equally unrelated topics. Some of his talk was real, some of it wasn’t, but his outfit was official as fuck and his entourage of female, S1W-style bodyguards had me pretty open as well. Earning even more style points Qaddafi set up his Bedouin tent on an estate owned by Donald Trump only after his original request to set up shop in Central Park was denied. Qaddafi usually likes to travel with at least one camel, too, but hating-ass New York officials weren’t trying to hear that, either.