LORDS OF APATHY

November 25, 2009

MUSIC AT IT'S WORST... -YOU DO NOT WANT TO MISS THIS ONE!

STOP THE PRESS!!! This is the worst song ever made. Every aspect of it is simply the worst. -Ever. The headline for this was originally going to be 'Horriblle Rap Wednesday', but I felt like that title did not go far enough. This shit is mindbogglingly awful. Fair warning; It's gonna make you a little bit pissed off. Everything about this is going to make you unhappy... And that's before you even come to understand the full scope of what we're dealing with. Here's the jist of it as described on Huffington Post:

Christian youth groups finally have an alternative to normal, aka "front," hugs. As we all know, face to face embraces run the horrific risk of a clothed crotch graze. The Christian Side-Hug (or the CSH, as the kids call it) rids us of sin, as the only below the belt contact will be some good old-fashioned hip on hip action. To help the side-hug fad sweep the nation, let us present this hardcore rap song. Yup, side-hugging has hit the streets. The group has as many emcees as the Wu-Tang Clan and as much power as a barbershop quartet.
Look out for the ominous sirens blasting on the track. Clearly, these are gangsters on the run from the law - probably from side-hugging up a storm! One emcee (wearing his bandanna 2pac-style no less) admits to taking part in the forbidden front-hug. But don't worry, God. He's married. At the end, they all simulate getting shot and dying. We can only hope there are side-hugs in heaven. To make matters worse, I actually copyrighted the 'side hug' a year and a half ago, and now these fucking assclowns are trying to claim it as some kind of lame Christian non-crotch thing? Get of my shit fellas... First of all, I'm all for peoples' crotches touching (no homo), I'm just too socially awkward to endure every other aspect of a 'front hug'. Besides, if the prospect of your dicks being directly across from someone else's dick/ vaj, within the confines of your/ their respective pants, then you've got way bigger psychological issues on your hands my friend. I'm just gonna skip to the thesis of this thing. There is no god. A truly loving god would not subject humanity to music this shitty. -In his name no less... I could see him blessing Roscoe Dash with the divine inspiration to record "All the Way Turnt Up'", but this side-hug shit; -no fucking way.

18 comments:

MYLES O'STOOLEY said...

Holy Shit! I didn't watch the whole video but this track makes me want to run up on some Side Huggers and rip out each and every larynx so these propaganda spreading hip hoppers can never rap again..

J bizzle said...

This is a truly odd species of human for sure. same crowd as the sarah palin book signing?

Manny said...

Did anyone else notice the beat to this song is a remix of the Star Wars theme?

Anonymous said...

Man that sucked. The young cons got it over these suckas every day of the week.

s.poe said...

just saw this on boing boing. checked here to see if it was something you might've slept on (LSD©1996) Definitely trying to side hug a little hug, my thug

Anonymous said...

OHHHHHHHHHH!!!! A Life Sucks Die reference! That and Big Brother were the best mags in the history of mags.

bo said...

that jesus freak said hes buyin babies like angelina jolie now what the fuck does that have to do with a side hug?

The Pressure™ said...

I'm not above attempting to holler at one of those red-sweatshirt-garbed sidehug-flygirlz though. FOSHO.

Snickerdoodles McPoppycock said...

Sidehug this dick BEYOTCH!!!

Snickerdoodles McPoppycock said...

These dudes owe music/ mankind an apology.

Anonymous said...

who's worse...the douche nozzles on stage or the twat waffles in the audience screamin' for em'? I'm goin' with both as equally delusional.

Jayes said...

Hahaha I saw this and I immediately thought of this blog, I was going to email it to you guys but I looked and of course its already on here. Nothing gets by you Snickerdoodles

boozin sarandon said...

word up to anonymous..big brother was the best mag ever

Anonymous said...

Teddy Roosevelt and DMX are spinning in their graves after this "Rough Rider" performance.

Manny said...

@anonymous DMX is dead?!?! There is no god...

gu said...

give him that side hug or hes gonna take it.

thank you loa for the new winter anthem

Anonymous said...

give me a side hug on my dick you foul humans fuck christ you cock sucking whore fucks dye a slow oozing death i buutfucked your whore of a mom in the ear. no frontzeez

Anonymous said...

well at least the side hug keeps us from direct contagious contact from any god fearers fucks . fuck those little senior jesus underager whore bags, they will soon learn about hemroids after a one on one with there peddy filed pastor.. isnt pastor a taco truck meat. dont order sesos, brain fuck fk fuk fykn fik fikf fifkfifnfhjfn fok fok fik fik fukkkkk