Talk about being stuck between a rock and a motherfucking diamond-encrusted bulldozer. This week's "EITHER / OR" aint no punk...The scenario is this: You have to EITHER: Be on work release/ house arrest for 1 year and share a small studio apartment with Ann Coulter where you will have have to wear one of those electronic ankle bracelets and cannot go anywhere besides your job and your crib. You must drive a blaze yellow Pontiac Aztek that has a Bush / Cheney bumper sticker on it to and from work; -where you will be doing fundraising telemarketing for the Republican party.OR: Eat 4 Chipotle-sized carne asada burritos filled with rice, beans and hair sweepings from various barber shops, within a 12 hour period. -You may not drink any beverages during this time , and you must do it while listening to reggaeton' at near deafening volumes.
If you fail to successfully complete either if these missions, all of your teeth will be busted out, one by one, with a hammer and/ or pliers. After all that, you will get sciringes full of bleach injected into your fucking eyeballs... -Don't sleep homie!!
Like always; go on the record and state your choices AND reasons for your decision in the comments section below. (Please leave your name or alias at the end if you have not already established yourself as a regular on the blog)
11 comments:
It kinda depends on whose hair it is. Is it a posh, upscale salon, or the SuperCuts at a Wal-Mart in central Alabama? If it's clean hair, I'll do the burrito's, even though I have a thing against hair. If we're talking cranked out, haven't washed in a month, teeth falling out, thinks Applebee's is a "fancy" restaraunt hair, then I might just pick livin with the bitch. But damn, that is a conundrum.
I would eat the hair burritos but could the burritos be veggie? Twistedtress the hair should be clean, everytime I've gotten my hair cut whether it's at a cost cutters or an expensive salon they've always washed my hair. I guess the only thing that you really need to think about is how dirty was the floor that the hair fell on.
Burrito, hands down.
Christina
Christina brings up a good point about the washedness factor. Shit, I might order some Pantene Pro-Vittles just for the extra nutrients.
i'll take the apartment with ann coulter. why? because i might actually enjoy being seen as the antichrist for an entire year. it would be sort of refreshing - in fact, there's always the chance she'd suffer more than me just by finding ME as repulsive as i find her. and believe me, they'd fire me from that "job" at the fundraising place with the quickness...
i concur with letta on this one. i think there'd be some satisfaction of calling man face out on her every bullshit point.
freal doe whats up wid'der man face?
I'd flip the aztek for some mike ditka penis pills, powerfuck Ann in her mangina for a straight year, and come out as the hardest HNIC you ever felt. Its nothing.
Knowledge.
its burrito time
The burritos. While I admire Letta's intent, I figure that part of the deal would be doing sincere fundraising work, not sabotage.
I could take the 12 hours - though I'd like to know if the clock runs out the moment I finish the fourth one, or if I have to go the full 12 hours regardless. The "near deafening volumes" and lack of anything to drink for 12 hours -- things that could actually do damage -- are what I'd be concerned about. I want my ears and kidneys to last me for a great many years.
The only thing in favor of the year of Coulter would be the tell-all book I'd be mentally working on the entire year.
ima go with the hair burrito...first of all that bitch is way too annoying...second of all, i have a shit load of cats so im pretty used to haveing hairball meals. and where the hell did you get that photo of that burrito...a barbershop? i know you needed material for one of your school photo projects...henceforth, conveniently chopping clumps of your fro off then trying to return your damn chipoltle burger for a refund...all because they put too many beans on it. you cant fool me.
I have no idea what you're talking about, but the name "Hammerballs" is pretty fucking rad, so props on that.
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