LORDS OF APATHY

June 14, 2007

ALTERNATIVE METHOD FOR BREAST SELF-EXAM

Before you begin your breast exam, it is recommended that you drink approximately 5 or so Foster's tall-cans of beer. When you are finished drinking then, line up the empty cans along a counter or tabletop roughly 24-36 inches apart. Next, cup your hands around both the top and underside of one of your breasts, and gently slam it down as hard as possible atop each of the empty Fosters cans in a downward 'crushing' motion. Repeat exam every 24 hours for the next 7 months, or as recommended by physician.

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