LORDS OF APATHY

February 14, 2009

THAT JUS MY BABY-DADDY (LITERALLY)

BOY dad Alfie Patten yesterday admitted he does not know how much nappies cost — but said: “I think it’s a lot.” Baby-faced Alfie, who is 13 but looks more like eight, became a father four days ago when his girlfriend Chantelle Steadman gave birth to 7lb 3oz Maisie Roxanne. He told how he and Chantelle, 15, decided against an abortion after discovering she was pregnant. The shy lad, whose voice has not yet broken, said: “I thought it would be good to have a baby. “I didn’t think about how we would afford it. I don’t really get pocket money. My dad sometimes gives me £10. A little word of advice to young Alfie. Seriously dog, you need to get yourself a lawyer and have a statutory rape case waiting in the wings as a sort of insurance policy for when things get ugly. Sooner or later that bitch is gonna go crazy and want to dip with your seed and try jack you for like half of your allowance savings and paper route money. Real talk,-Take it from your boy Snickerdoodles; these young bitches are fucking nuts. Believe that...

4 comments:

paul said...

thanks for posting this george, this little big man lives about 30 miles from here and if you can find the radio interview he gave you'd shit yourself at his peanut sized iq its pretty special.
once again i'd like to take this oppotunity to say thanks for giving be the chance to be proud of the fact i'm british..

one love (but not the 13 year old variety)

unrealoreo2003 said...

game fucking over

Emmanuel said...

Shit, I had a baby at thirteen, what's the big fuckin deal?

...Oh, yeah, he looks like he's five. Word.

CHEY said...

figured the lords would appreciate this image

http://www.unc.edu/~ab/untitled1.jpg