July 20, 2009


Ladies and gentlemen, we have a challenger. A few months back, I declared with relative certainty that Brokencyde's 'Freaxxx' was the worst song in all of human history. I say "relative certainty" because I hadn't heard any other Brokencyde songs. That being said, I'm starting to think that I may have spoken too soon; because godDAMMIT, -if the Black Eyed Peas havent laid massive putrid-smelling molten diarhea-egg on this one. I'm baffled folks, I need your help to decide which one is more horribler than the other. Weigh in in the comments section below.

THE CHALLENGER: (Make sure you listen to the whole thing because there are lots of horrible tempo changes etc.)


scoopy f. baby said...

i just did something that no human should do/ everyone should try.. i played em both at the same time and mashed them up. it was like having a dick crammed in my ear.

hubble said...

I think they both equally suck shit. The second is more proof that those, who say they'll NEVER sell out, very often do. Looks/sounds like they're outta' gas to me.

pants party said...

the brokencyde song at least has some novelty comedy value. the black eyed peas song is just more garbage added to an already large pile of hot steamy suck. the only thing fergie should be opening her mouth for is to put the meth pipe back in.

augustus said...

Well, Brokencyde's song is like smoking meth only to return to your job as a Guitar Center salesman. The Black Eyed Peas' song is that realization that you might actually kill yourself after being at a beer pong party where some dude wearing a NorCal shirt starts talking about how cryp his weed is.
The worser of the two goes to:
Note: This decision was partially made because of their hair game.

Anonymous said...

They both Suck all the way around... Unfortunately the B E P song is number 1 on the itunes download chart not joking saw it myself, almost threw up on my macbook... Fuck em both ..
But, side note. whats fergies CHUD status?

Snickerdoodles McPoppycock said...

I would do a 'Chud or no Chud©' Fergie edition... But. real talk, it's not a very good selection. I think that theres a whole other category for chicks like her that I just haven't come up with a word for yet. Chud is like that scene in the movies where the car is precariously teetering on the edge of the cliff...-You don't know if the star of the movie is going to be able to unbuckle his seatbelt and jump out the window at the last second, right before the car teeters off the edge. That's chud. -In your mind, you're like 'Ooohh, I dunno about this one. I know she's pretty suspect looking, but at the same time you still would hit it on the low. Fergie on the other hand is a whole different breed. In the context of being in a quasi-'rap' group, she's pretty busted. You can nit-pic all day about how beat she is and you wont hear any arguments from me... HOWEVER...-Different context: you're watching TV at your girl's crib while she's out with her friends, and you happen to notice that the lady across the way just walked into her bedroom and is starting to undress. You quick kill the lights, and scurry over to the window to get a better look. Just as she's about to unhook her bra, you schiz-out and knock over an empty beer can. A startled Fergie looks up at you and realizes that you've been getting your peeping Tom on. -BUT!! Rather than cover up, she looks you dead in your eyes and continues to strip down to her freshly Brazilan-waxed birthday suit and does the 'come on over' motion with her finger.
-Whole different ballgame: -The once beatdown skanky talentless member of Black Eyed Peas, is automatically transformed into your girl's super hot, super horny, nymphomaniac neighbor. Same chick, different context. You feel me?

RasTroy said...

One time i saw Mr Dibbs play at First Ave. He had this giant screen behind him. Some skateboard and vomiting video was playing.
Maybe it was just vomiting only, cant remember.
He was showing it to let people out there (i.e. me) know how he does. But I think if he REALLY wanted to bring it now a days he should just have either of these videos on screen instead.

Word Barry.

Detroit Murder Dog said...

No question that the Brokencyde song is a million times worse. The BEP song was written for the sole purpose of being licensed for ads, so I can chalk it up for what it is. Yes, it is terrible, but when I hear the Brokencyde song I collapse to the floor in agony.

Anonymous said...

Fergie is either a man, or has John Holmes-like enlarged clitty syndrome.



Anonymous said...

I feel ya on the Chud status... I'd think i'd have to take a run at it though... but i might think about that pic where she pissed her pants the whole time, She kinda looks like she smells.. Im not sayin Im just sayin..!

Snickerdoodles McPoppycock said...

There's an outside chance that if I was drunk enough, I could see thinking that that Brokencyde song (albeit still sucked,but) was bad enough where I could ironically enjoy it, in the same vein as say, Hurricane Chris' 'HALLE BERRY' (Halle Berry). You feel me??

God... Can it be that Freaxxx ISN'T the worst song ever made?

logan1184 said...

fergie looks like a fergie if that was some sort of fucked up animal.

bastion of suffering said...

like someone said before, at least the brokencyde has some novelty humor.

on another note... i want fergi to campaign for the "I LOST 'ME' TO METH" billboards..