July 26, 2009

Congrats on having a style name more bad and more retarded than your terrible, retarded music

Crabcore moves

Chiefly among the crabcore musician's repertoire of stylistic gestures is the crabwalk itself, from which the genre's title is derived. The crabwalk is identified by the player's extremely low stance, wherein both feet are set apart from one another as far as possible, while still allowing the player to maintain at least a 90 degree bend in his knees. While in the crab stance, the player then purposefully transfers the weight of his upper body between each leg, achieving a swaying motion intended to have a hypnotic effect among audience members.
Other moves available to crabcore players include;

The 'Richardson Richardson'.
The 'Beaver Bounce'
The 'Dirty Hamper'
The 'Pestal Press'

I'll grant them "The Dirty Hamper" though. That's gonna blow up fabu-vegas style. Just you wait.

1 comment:

bunghead said...

AND they managed to squeeze some autotune in there too. kids these days are pretty resourceful