LORDS OF APATHY

October 13, 2009

A Formal Apology (to DICKHEAD POSSE)

DICKHEAD POSSE said..."Guess what!!
Kid Lover is now gonna be on the unfortunate end of a BEEF!!!
We can tell, by his shitty cords and pale socks that he is a complete stranger to any and all confrontations, so we have decided (being bullies) that we are gonna start an LA jihad on his ass. HE officially has BEEF with US. Get ready to get FUCKED UP ON SIGHT. BITCH ASS MARK. We are gonna beat you like a fucking Pinata just for looking at us the way you are in that picture. Thank Snickerdoodles for your straight up hard core steady ratpacking.
Welcome to death, Pop-Tart, and FYI there's no way to unfuck yourself outta this situation. faggot. Nice haircut shitface."
Dear DICKHEAD POSSE, I feel like we started off on the wrong foot. Just a little background for you. I have two very close BLACK friends, (Like really black, one has a dad that played basketball, the other one has a dad that's like REALLY from Africa). I studied martial arts (Karate) at a very early age and retired shortly thereafter with a yellow belt (red stripe). I've seen Menace II Society at least 100 times. I even saw that piece of shit, Baby Boy. I may not be from the hood, but i think i get the jist of it. I've definitely bought drugs in the hood. I smoked crack once.
Now, DICKHEAD POSSE, I wanted to touch on a couple of things you mentioned in your comment. First and foremost, i tip my hat to you, you are a warrior poet. I appreciate the fashion advice, the "shitty cords" however were actually faded black denim jeans (distressed, if you will) (I mean c'mon seriously, who wears corduroy in October?? It's not even winter yet, Hellooooo!!!). And much thanks for the "pale socks" mention (they were technically white, but regardless), you will be quite happy to learn that i immediately threw them out, and henceforth, shall only wear black (or dark) socks (what about Argyle? Forget it, I just realized how "faggy" that must sound). Hopefully, these minor adjustments, will help me to become involved in more confrontations. Ideally, i'd like to become a confrontation magnet. Kudos on the BITCH ASS MARK comment! Seriously, i would be so stoked if i could slip that into my everyday vernacular. Like if i could just be like, "I know the Maitre D' here, he's usually pretty cool, but that Sommelier's a BITCH ASS MARK!!"
I noticed you were also none too plussed about my gaze in the photograph, DICKHEAD POSSE. A thousand apologies. I've been told that i suffer from a condition known as Rape Face. It's an expression commonly found on the faces of rapists (or rapers) before they rape somebody. Sadly, i have genetics to thank for this one, but i swear to you, it was not intended as an act of war towards your person, DICKHEAD POSSE.
Snickerdoodles, if i haven't already, Thank you for my straight up hard core steady ratpacking. (Sincerely)
Maybe i'm just a "glass is half full" kinda guy, but i think i can "unfuck" my way outta any situation, Silly Goose!
And that was so weird when you mentioned Pop Tarts, because I still eat Pop Tarts!!! Can you believe it?!? You don't have to say it, i already know what you're going to say, DICKHEAD POSSE!!! You're gonna be all like, "OMG Kid Lover, You're like 31 years old and still eating Pop Tarts!!! How embarrassing, you should be so embarassed!!! That's what little kids eat!!!" Guilty as charged. But what can I say, I love Pop Tarts.
Lastly, I will start researching new hair styles and trends.
There you have it, DICKHEAD POSSE, I feel like the LA jihad on my ass can confidently be removed. I appreciate your constructive criticisms. And moving forward, I will do my best to be on the fortunate end of a BEEF!!! Oh, and I'm sooo not gay! LOL!!!

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ima sew your balls to your heels and make you run on a treadmill motherfucker

The Pressure™ said...

It's very difficult to embroider or sew a scrotum. Maybe staple?

Anonymous said...

shut the fuck up. Ill fuckin tear your pupils out and replace them shits with magnets you cross eyed motherfucker!

DICKHEAD POSSE 2 said...

CANCEL CHRISTMAS DICKMEAT.
There is no unfucking of this "sitch" (thats my best butter-soft OC parlance) You have just stepped waist deep in a hot pile of alligator shit. I know Snickers is outta town and you are trying to, in your measly way, pull your digital weight and interject the blog with your translucent suburban humor, but all you've done is escalate your simple group beating into a full fledged home invasion/rape. Enjoy shitting through a soup can and also, coincidentally, only eating soup for the next 6 months because we are gonna beat your mouth to death with a Dell laptop. Fucking cum-sock. You fucking bag of cunt. Shitface.
See you at Crabby Kenny's dicktoucher.

Anonymous said...

this is fucking retarded. what are you in the 3rd grade dickhead posse 2? where is dickhead posse 1? did you kill him and shoot cum on his face then steal his name but used 2 instead? fucking stupid idiot.

Anonymous said...

what the fuck is this about anyway.

Anonymous said...

this is about dickhead posse's hidden gay tendencies for kid lover. or he's just jealous that he's not on LOA.

Manny said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Manny said...

Full fledged home-invasion/rape? As opposed to a half-fledged home-invasion rape? Like steal a picture frame and cum on your stomach? Can I get a better understanding of home the home-invasion/rape timeline works?

Anonymous said...

KID LOVER YOU'RE FUCKIN ANNOYING!

Anonymous said...

KID LOVER YOU'RE FUCKIN ANNOYING!