What Not To Wear

Lollapalooza is back in Chicago and everyone going to it is dressed terribly. Adults wearing youth-sized NBA jerseys, flip flops, feathered headbands, dirty feet, ironic jorts/fanny packs... Setting aside those awful looks, the absolute worst thing I've seen has got to be this:

I know these have been around for a minute, but in defiance of taste they have recently become publicly acceptable. Wearing five toe shoes in the street means that you lack shame, a mirror or both. Toms and Crocs look like the Jordan 3 in comparison. You'd think that feet gloves are the antidote to getting laid, but girls shockingly seem to have no problem with guys wearing them. I'm so confused right now. Between this shit, gangbangers wearing Hollister, and the existence of Tommy Bahama, this country is in a fashion tailspin.