Can I Pay Comcast To Not Get This Channel?

I don't want to tell you how to do your job or anything, but that's Tina Fey.

FUCK THE POLICE

Not only fuck the police, but also fuck this shitbag newscaster. Are you seriously interrogating the guy in a wheelchair with cerebral palsy about wether or not he attacked the police?  ATTACKED THE POLICE??? Think about it for a second motherfucker! -This dude can't even operate his own wheelchair (WHEELCHAIR!) and you're trying to put the screws to him on how he provoked police to attack him!?  This may very well be an alltime low in journalism.

YOUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK

Great job guys! You nabbed the infamous hardcore criminal that paints cute little cat faces all over the city!  You must be really proud of such an impressive display of law enforcement- 7 sheriffs in riot gear wielding shotguns! (I'm sure that's not costing taxpayers much).  Except for... um... well... Here's the thing;  although the news has already been judge, jury and executioner here, this guy hasn't actually been convicted of shit. So make sure that when the judge throws this one out of court for lack of evidence,  you guys do a 3-minute, prime-time expose' on that also.