Cameron Diaz is the Opposite of Cute

I'm not sure what I'm more embarrassed to admit: that I spent the night on the couch eating banana pudding, or that I watched the MTV Movie Awards while doing it? Someone in MTV's legal department must have given the green light to use the words "dick," "balls" and "jizz" because seemingly every skit and MTV promo used them (edgy!). The Borat guy put his nuts in Eminem's face, Zac Efron tried to act like he wasn't gay and some other boring shit happened. I was about to put my spoon away and doze off, but when Cameron Diaz handed out an award, I momentarily thought I was looking death in the face. She is allegedly 36, but if you told me she was 56 I would believe you. The Manuel Noriega skin tone is the least of her problems. Can we please stop with the hoax that she is good looking?

R.I.P. Lil 7 Legs

WELLINGTON, New Zealand --A lamb born with seven legs will have to be euthanized, local media reported Thursday. The animal has three hind legs, two forelegs and two extra legs that hang useless behind its forelegs. Veterinarian Steve Williams at the Canterbury Vets clinic in the rural town of Methven said the lamb, born Friday, also was missing a portion of its bowel and so would have to be destroyed. "To keep it alive is probably inhumane really," Williams told the Ashburton Guardian newspaper. Williams said he believed an error during embryo formation had resulted in the lamb being born polydactyl "with many MANY fucking legs" a condition that occurs once in several million sheep. Dave Callaghan said his mind was FUCKING blown when he found the seven-legged freak on his farm along with its mother and normal twin sibling.