LORDS OF APATHY

December 21, 2006

Dance Party USA

So I've been DJing for almost 11 years and over the course of that time have spun records for thousands of people. At rap shows, rap dorks show up. At clubs, hairgel people show up. At house parties, drunkozords show up, and it goes on and on. Yesterday, I was DJing inside a clothing store at the Mall of America. I'd done it a few times before and nothing extraordinary has happened (OK that's a lie - after the first time I played there, I ran down the hall to the bathroom and fucking barfed. Yes really), so I wasn't expecting much to go down other than some 16 year old mallcore goth kids to come up and ask me if they can scratch.

I'm there doing my thing, watching people contemplate purchasing RVCA shirts. All of a sudden these two 40ish year old women come in. They're both kinda big & butch and are both wearing:
• dark blue Dickies coveralls
• orange Carharrt stocking caps
• fake Jesus pieces
• fake moustaches

One of them is pushing the other in a wheelchair. The one in the wheelchair has a Macy's bag on her lap. They roll up over to where I'm DJing and the one in the wheelchair drunkenly / retardedly says something to the effect of "Ohhhhh woooow that's soooo cool what you're doing! Soooounds greaaaaat! Can you show me how to do that?" I ask them if they can show me where to get some fake moustaches. Then the one in the wheelchair stands up and they both START DANCING for like a minute. Then they switch places in the wheelchair and leave the shop.

My best explanation is that I was the victim of some 4th tier version of Punk'd and will see myself on the WB at 3 in the morning.

2 comments:

Snickerdoodles McPoppycock said...

no, his son was the one who ordered it but his wife thought that (my boss) was the one who did it. I think my original segueway into rap was the use of the word 'doghouse'- but when I first concieved it, I was actually thinking about "Tha Dogg Pound".

Snickerdoodles McPoppycock said...

Also, on an additional note there is technically only one possible answer to this question:"What do you like seeing 2 girls licking each others' pussies!!???"