This week's song is "Feenin'" by legendary R & B thugs, Jodeci. Fellas, nothing, and I mean absolutely NOTHING, will get your girl dripping faster than you leaning over and whispering in her ear, "All the chronic in the world couldn't even mess with you". If you're lucky, she might even call you a chronic smoking, oreo cookie eating, picklejuice drinking, chicken grissle eating, biscuit fucking sucking, black mafia-ass motherfucker. It happened to me one time.
BONUS: This video is fucking amazing. Dancing in a straightjacket inside a padded cell, Snoop in the beginning, 323-FEENIN. Fucking outstanding.
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I'm gonna schedule a tattoo appointment at Miami Ink. Right before I go in, I'm gonna call the Radio station and request them to play "Feenin'". I'ma make sure that my appointment is on the late-night tip, when all those other douche mongrels have gone home... So check it; It's just me and Kat Von D in the shop, she's workin on my backpiece, standing there fully nude, looking at herself in a fulllength mirror for reference, when -BOOM!! -Jodeci starts crackin on the radio. -AAAAWWWWW SHIIIIT! -You know what time it is... -Flex; -Time to have Sex! -"YA GOT ME FEENIN' GUUURL!"
"Taaaaake my moooney- My houuse and my carrs, for one hit of youuuu, Gurl you could have it allllll."
Let me set the scene my young chuddas.
It's 94/95ish - I'm working at Eddie Bauer in the Santa Monica mall.. Fresh Courduroys, crisp flannel button-ups, khaki suede Timbos and a super tight bald fade with a razor lined goatee. I shit you not. I was 19 or so.
My manager Crystal's niece comes to work for us..
Slim, weave in a ponytail, short catholic school girl skirt, rich brown skin and a bubble butt. I played it cooler than penguin balls. At that period in my life what I lacked in game I made up for in swagger. I jabbed and weaved, flirted and skirted until she practically begged me to make my move.I didn't, so she, being younger and impatient, asked in her scowling whine, "How come you didn't ask for my number yet, Alex?" Ha-HA! Gotcha!!
One day on her lunch break, she popped up at the crib. I let her in. Lets not BS each other, my Chudstas, IT WAS ON. We didn't knock boots that day, but what she said before she fixed her face and hair and jetted, sealed the deal ushering in a 6 month workplace fuckfest. She turned to me before she bounced, slit her eyes, curled her lips and said, in an low sultry rumble, "Mmmm Boyyy, you gonna have me FEENIN."
Sheeeeeeit. Lemme tell you this, that day there was extra bounce in my ounce because I just had a broad reference the baddest R&B thugs on erf to illustrate my smoothosity. Churrrch.
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