LORDS OF APATHY

December 11, 2009

LOA'S TIGER WOODS P.R. MAKEOVER PROPOSAL

(Click image to enlarge)

You know what Tiger? -If I was your P.R. person right now, I'd tell you "Fuck everybody who's trying to hate on you for this preDICKa-ment you've managed to fuck your way into". The way I see it, if you're a black man who's made a goddamn billion dollars from professional golf, you can pretty much do whatever-the-fuck you want. Anybody who's got a problem with it can basically suck your balls (no/ maybe yes homo). Rather than eventually coming out of hiding with your tail between your legs, going on Oprah apologising like a little bitch, my advice would be to do the exact opposite. -Flip the script and pull a "Hollywood" Hulk Hogan on them. Come back all bad-boyed out. Smoke weed on the course, listen to Dipset, get all tatted up; -basically dont give a FUCK. Think about the publicity you (we) could generate with this simple image makeover! You could be all "Oh whatup Scarlett Johansson, whatup Rosa Acosta; after I whoop these white boys' asses in the Masters' tournament, why don't you slide by the Days Inn room 213 and lemme show you the real reason they call me Tiger WOODs." Real Talk, holler atcha boy Snickerdoodles, i'll help you get this shit sorted out. I tried hitting you on the Blackberry earlier but it kept going to voicemail. I'm guessing maybe your phone's broke from getting that shit smashed across your grill by Elin.

8 comments:

bo said...

this place is like church to me.if i went to church at work on the internet....

bo said...

he wont do it hes a poopdick.

Ross said...

DIPSET WOODS.
You said it in a word, yo.
If Tigers gonna "cause" some media scandal shit, ("cause" get's quotes because everything in the "news" gets framed as a scandal AKA politics and foreign policy get the same billing as hollywood and jerkoff top-40 pop tunes) he should go whole-hog and do it up right.
The MAN... is worth a BILLION dollars.
He should be able to do AKA fuck whoever/whatever he wants.
It's called late capitalism - and this comment is directed at you, "news" outlets AKA tabloid rags - in America. Rich guys doing whatever/whoever - whenever the fuck they want is what you get when money is all that there is.
Tiger gets PAID.
As long as all he does is legal, no one should have shit to say about anything.
Duh, hypocrites.

EYE WITNESS said...

DUde, this plan could actually work...
TIger get the mohawk for the Iceman,
and holla at mr.snickerdoodlemccokkypok!

J bizzle said...

this dude needs to stop being such a squeamish pussy and borrow puffy's silver suit. ILL SHOW YOU HOW TO DO THIS SON!

Anonymous said...

I really don't get why anybody besides his wife is upset about this whole situation. I thought it was pretty much the standard arrangement for professional athletes, not to mention the execs of the companies that are cancelling his endorsements.

jim the rza said...

that was me btw

Snickerdoodles McPoppycock said...

RZA in the house!! -Your take makes sense in a world where all news isn't based on tabloid sex scandals.