PATRICIA KRENTCIL: STRONG, PROUD, BEAUTIFUL BLACK SISTA

You now what I and Tupac always say: "The blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice"...

LOA'S TIGER WOODS P.R. MAKEOVER PROPOSAL

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You know what Tiger? -If I was your P.R. person right now, I'd tell you "Fuck everybody who's trying to hate on you for this preDICKa-ment you've managed to fuck your way into". The way I see it, if you're a black man who's made a goddamn billion dollars from professional golf, you can pretty much do whatever-the-fuck you want. Anybody who's got a problem with it can basically suck your balls (no/ maybe yes homo). Rather than eventually coming out of hiding with your tail between your legs, going on Oprah apologising like a little bitch, my advice would be to do the exact opposite. -Flip the script and pull a "Hollywood" Hulk Hogan on them. Come back all bad-boyed out. Smoke weed on the course, listen to Dipset, get all tatted up; -basically dont give a FUCK. Think about the publicity you (we) could generate with this simple image makeover! You could be all "Oh whatup Scarlett Johansson, whatup Rosa Acosta; after I whoop these white boys' asses in the Masters' tournament, why don't you slide by the Days Inn room 213 and lemme show you the real reason they call me Tiger WOODs." Real Talk, holler atcha boy Snickerdoodles, i'll help you get this shit sorted out. I tried hitting you on the Blackberry earlier but it kept going to voicemail. I'm guessing maybe your phone's broke from getting that shit smashed across your grill by Elin.

THE NEW BLACKBERRY 8800

Your boy Snickerdoo leads a pretty extravagant lifestyle. I'm all about doin' thangs and havin' thangs. Expensive whips, jewelry, beautiful women...-That shit aint cheap; so when I'm not holding it down on the internet(s) I'm handling other biz trying to get this paper son. My latest highly lucrative venture is doing graphic design and ad management for several fortune 500 companies. You may have seen some of my ealrlier work for 'Bold Party Blend Chex Mix' back in May of 2006. My latest client is BlackBerry. Right now I'm focus grouping my ad campaign for the sleek new 8800 handset. I'm trying to give BlackBerry a more raw, gritty urban flavor. Let me know what you guys think. thanks, S-dot (Click ad to enlarge)