Russell Westbrook's Guide to Media Relations

FILE UNDER: Things To Do While Unemployed

GRANDMAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT!

OK, stop whatever it is you're doing right now and give this your undivided attention. This might be the greatest 5 minutes of television ever produced. Oh, you wanna take a cellphone photo of your newborn grandson?? -Well step on up and get your motherfuckin cranium cracked.
-How good is grandma's Muy Thai-style flying knee!? That was shades of Anderson Silva Right there!

He's no John Edwards...

The only thing Rep. Weiner did wrong was cry like a bitch. In response he should of just twittered the following...

BITCHES BE TRIPPIN...