LOA CAREER MOVE OF THE DAY

Holla at your boy!! (Or girl...-maybe?)

LOA CAREER MOVE OF THE DAY

So you got 56 stars tattooed on your face; -big deal. Everybody's got facial tattoos these days. But you made the problem worse when you caved in once your pops and boyfriend started tripping about it. -You thought they were going to be hyped that you turned your face into a partial scabby map of the milky way!? Look; if you're going to get a face tattoo, -OWN that shit.  You can't be all 'Mitt Romney' about it, you gotta be all-in, and just kiss your normal-faced life goodbye.  Instead what you did was go out like a total pussy and in the process, make one of the most outlandish lies of all time.  

So lets recap:

•Terrible idea -Check

•Terrible decision -Check

•Total flip flop -Check

•Lie/ snitch on somebody else -Check

Learn more about this stupid-ass idiot here, and check out the dude who gave her the tattoos here. By comparison, what she got is nothing to write home about...

LOA CAREER MOVE OF THE DAY

Yeah, seriously... Fuck all you guys who don't have your body completely immersed in a garbage can.  You think you're soo fucking great walking around like you're better than everybody, thinking you're too good to set up shop in garbage.  Fucking elitists...

LOA CAREER MOVE OF THE DAY

Imagine not being qualified to be a greeter at Wal-Mart. This guy doesn't have to.

LOA PICTURE OF THE DAY

If you ask me, this dude is making all the right decisions. American Exceptionalism personified.

LOA CAREER MOVE OF THE DAY

Dear Daniel,

Thank you for applying! We appreciate your interest in joining the team here at Applebees.  I had a chance to go over your application and unfortunately, we don't think that you'd be a good fit for re-stocking the salad bar. Just so everyone's clear; I'm not discriminating on you for having a great white shark-face face tattoo. When you came in for the first interview with just the upside-down crucifix next to your eye -I thought "That's kinda quirky, but no problem -I can appreciate you thinking outside of the box".  Before you came in for the 2nd interview, I had a chance to go over your previous work history, everything seemed to check out. Up until that point, I hadn't noticed your  tie-dyed winged skull throat-piece on account of that turtleneck sweater you were wearing at the time, but ok... -I don't love it... but different strokes for different folks. -You're expressing yourself and I've got no problem with that... 

But I gotta tell you, the recent addition of the great white shark lunging out of your face is a bit too much.  I mean, I could live with the shark by itself, but in concert with the upside-down crucifix AND the winged skull thing... It's not really expressing to me that you are a stickler for good composition nor attention to detail. -And I gotta be honest here; I have no idea what you could be capable of... I dont know if you're gonna squat over the salad bar and take a massive shit on the iceberg lettuce, or if you're gonna slice Pam from H.R.'s tits off with a rusty boxcutter. 

Anyways, I wish you all the best in your future endeavors and thank you for your time and consideration.

Best wishes,

-Snickerdoodles McPoppycock, Regional Manager, Applebee's Corporation

LOA CAREER MOVE OF THE DAY

You dont see too many bald, vegan, Maori tribesmen these days.  Great job dude, you're killin it!  -Looks good. 

CAREER MOVE OF THE DAY

So yeah... I've got plenty of friends that I formerly considered to be borderline unemployable; but compared to this dude, they come out looking like Steve Jobs...-(Emphasis on the word 'Jobs'.)