You Had Me At T-Shirt

Jumping on the Internet to anonymously dis people is my third favorite thing to do (watching basketball and playing Xbox are first and second). When your life is as pointless as mine, you tend to find joy in the little things. Anyway, my wife bet me that I couldn't go a week without making negative comments on the Internet, so I'm going to keep it going here with some shit I actually like. I can't understand a word the British dude says but then again I can barely understand English.

And You Say Chi-City

I violated my personal "no rap shows" policy this weekend to see this kid Astonish. He performed like he was on stage at a sold out United Center even though the room only held 100 people. He just dropped this video, which has a perfect end of summer vibe. Salute!

VIGILANTE VIGILANTE

Here's a segment on NBC news in the Bay Area about a documentary my friends are working on... I believe it adds a dynamic most people have no idea about.. The rough edit i saw so far is looking good.. Major appearances by Joe Conolly (the graffiti gorilla), the Grey Ghost (out of N.O. ) and many other buffers throughout the country... Not to mention super dope graff by wicked sick writers, YO!! I think this is a good follow up to Murder Dogs post... Check out their site www.vigilantefilm.com

I Don't Get It

People I respect have told me this is dope. I'm really confused right now as I thought weirdo raps were buried with Cage's career. Is this one of those things where you have to listen to it seventy times before it sinks in? Maybe this is "amazing" the same way Lil B is (i.e., a joke I'm not in on), or like when white nerds acted like they loved Dipset for a year. Based on the positive reaction to this video, I am going to assume this is an elaborate grad school project where everyone pretends to act crazy and studies my reaction.

PETE ROCK ON THE MPC

This is hip hop
.

Rap Review Haikus

50 Cent "Before I Self Destruct"

same beats, same lyrics
50 owes me a refund
he ran out of gas

Felt "Felt 3: A Tribute to Rosie Perez"

i thought Aesop's beats
would break my ears and headphones
i was wrong. it's great

Unsolicited Rap Tips

I went to the Rock The Bells festival in Chicago this weekend. I saw some great shows and I saw some awful ones. Like Dame Dash at the end of the Paid in Full soundtrack, I have a few things to get off my chest. Hip hop's been around since the 70s and it seems like most rappers are still doing the same shit. Many performers at RTB were no exception. Let's run through the classics:

1. "Ayo soundman, I need more/less monitor." "Can I get more volume on this mic?" I can honestly say that I have never been to a rap show where there was not at least one on-stage complaint about the sound guy. Talib Kweli spent as much time performing as he did talking to the soundman. Look, dude, I came to hear raps. If I wanted a discussion about audio engineering, I'd enroll at Full Sail.
2. "The real hip hop is over here/there." When you say '"hip," I say "go fuck yourself." KRS is awesome, but even he's guilty of this one.
3. Not practicing. Amid other miscues, Raekwon's DJ dropped the vocal version of a song. Rae to the crowd: "Oh no, the vocals are on there! We're gonna have to go over the vocals..." Probably should have been handled in rehearsal.
4. "DJ, stop the beat." A cappella raps are the keyboard solos of hip hop shows. Totally unnecessary (possible exceptions include Eddie Van Halen on the "1984" tour and Brother Ali) .
5. "Who wants to hear some new shit?" First off, you're not really giving us a choice. Second, if I've never heard your "old shit" (I am talking here to almost every opening act at indie hip hop shows), then the answer is a definite no.
6. Stopping and starting beats. Everyone knows that "Ante Up" will be MOP's last song. The beat drops and people go nuts. 8 bars in, they stop the track and say "I don't think they're ready" only to crank it right back up. Talk about a buzzkill. Ever see Pearl Jam stop in the middle of "Even Flow" and then have Eddie Vedder call for a rewind? Me neither.
7. Extraneous people walking around on stage. You got a backstage pass? C'mon up. Maybe wave a towel or pantomime gunshots. GZA had 5 guys at the DJ booth mouthing the lyrics. Is this Wu Tang or Puttin On The Hits?

Other observations from RTB: In these tough economic times, paying money to meet Supernatural (and "suprise" guests) in a "VIP" tent seems a little much. If you wait until after the tour, you can just run up in the post office or wherever he works and meet him for free. Also, I counted about 50 "Dilla Changed My Life" tees. The only people who should be wearing them are the members of Slum Village and Stones Throw employees. It's cool to pay tribute to someone you admire, but this is a little much. Truth be told, your mom or your AAU coach changed your life, not Dilla.

DUEL OF THE IRON MICS!!

You've never seench MC's of this caliber in your life! Having this level of talent harnessed in one room is truly breathtaking! Peep game as Eli Porter battles Envy for public access television freestyle supremacy!! (Note: these rhymes are off the domepiece kid,- No pre-written rhymes allowed up in this biatch...-Brang it son!!) (Good lookin' out Thee Casual Male)