Pop the the Champayn at Pink Palace

Have you ever wanted to bone on a giant sandwich? The "Out to Lunch" suite at Chicago's Pink Palace sex hotel has you covered. I've always thought about getting busy on a pizza, so maybe that's one for the suggestion box. Anyway, this room is seriously romantic. Foam tomatoes, a ritzy mural and an easy to clean tile floor tells the ladies that this is some classy shit. Once you're done spreading the mayo (wink wink) you can roll right out of the sandwich into the tub. Highly recommended.

Romantic Getaway

I'm trying to get my Valentine's Day plans together and thought about taking my boo to Sybaris. Sybaris is a chain of fuck hotels romance chalets in suburban Chicago and Milwaukee. It's pretty sweet: you get a private pool and hot tub, all of the walls and ceilings are mirrors, and they give you like a zillion towels. I was looking online for reviews to see if this was a place I wanted to go and found this video. In all seriousness, I think this dude was my Little League coach. No idea who Tammy is, but she works the hell out of those denim shorts. Skip ahead to the 2 minute mark and you'll also see her work the hell out of the sex swing.

and speaking of huge boobs...

WHO SAYS ROMANCE IS DEAD!?