Please Make It Stop

Congrats, whore.  You won the race to the bottom of increasingly dumber Lin puns.  I'm sure your dad is stoked.

Style and Elegance

OMG the Royal Wedding!

Damn, can I watch TV for 2 seconds without hearing about this bullshit? Everyone is falling all over themselves to talk about how beautiful this girl is. She's 29 but looks 39. Is this really what is passing for beautiful these days? Think about this for a second: Prince William is the heir to the throne, he has unlimited money and is one of the most famous people in the UK. THIS is the best he can come up with?! I just spent 5 minutes on Michigan Avenue and came up on 10 girls that are hotter than this. Is the UK just filled with busted girls? I give this a 4 out of 10. What say you LOA?

Define "Growth"

Grown from "horribly awkward kid" to "ghoul"? This story from MSN.com tries to convince readers that Chelsea Clinton has blossomed into a beautiful woman. Seriously? My wife gives everyone the benefit of the doubt and even she says "bitch is gross" when she sees Chelsea on TV. My guess is that when the Kraken wakes up, Chelsea's awful mug will end up saving the day. Nicest thing I ever heard about Chelsea was from Guardian Angels weirdo Curtis Silwa who said she looked like she got hit with a bag of nickels. Bottom line is that she is sub-CHUD by a mile (i.e., dick in a wood-chipper > Chelsea Clinton). However, as her wedding becomes the dominant news event, get ready to read a zillion stories about how gorgeous she is. Who are they kidding?