LORDS OF APATHY

February 7, 2011

ALEX RODRIGUEZ IS AN UNDERACHIEVER

I'm really not trying to be a hater here... I'm sure Cameron Diaz is a lovely person and all that; -but c'mon dude... Really?  When she was younger, she had a few glimmers of something resembling hot, but is this  the best you can do? Granted, this is a huge upgrade from your last boo, the 'crypt keeper' cougar Madonna, but is this really the example you want to be setting for kids? You're supposed to be a role model.  All I'm saying is, if I was a handsome, famous, multi-jillionaire, high-profile athlete, I'd think of significantly upping my dick game.  Holler at your boy Dereck Jeter (Who's literally 'batting' 1000 in this category)  and soccer guy Christiano Ronaldo.  Those motherfuckers don't play; -strictly dimepieces... Look, YOUR NICKNAME IS MOTHERFUCKING "A-ROD" for Christ's sake!!! -To me that means your 'Rod' needs to be exclusively reserved for 'A'-list ass. 
Just saying dude, get your shit together...
A quick side-note here: The above is a picture of Cameron shoveling popcorn into A-rod's failure-hole from the Superbowl yesterday. My girlfriend pointed out that Diaz looks exactly like Packers' Linebacker AJ Hawk:

HOW FUCKING CREEPY/ ACCURATE IS THAT?? I think ESPN needs to bring her on as an analyst for pointing out who NFL players resemble.  Her skills are impeccable!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

wasn't there an issue of lifesucksdie that featured a whole page on why this chick is terrible? oh wait, it was tori spelling. ms. diaz was actually one of the top 50 most beautiful people in said mag though...

Anonymous said...

what happened to that magazine?

Anonymous said...

that aj hawk thing is freakin me the fuck out man. are they brothers?

Anonymous said...

Impecable!