LORDS OF APATHY

Showing posts with label Lisa Loeb. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lisa Loeb. Show all posts

April 21, 2009

CHUD OR NO CHUD?: LISA LOEB EDITION

A great man once said: "The true essence of' Chud or No Chud' lies in it's power to make us all dredge the depths of our sexual depravity. It makes us publicly confront the parameters of who we'd bone, in spite of subjecting yourself to the scorn and ridicule of your peers."
-Snickerdoodles McPoppycock Esquire
I believe that right here, right now, we as a people can do something critically important to shape the future of our world. It is not enough for us to just sit idly by and let others decide which marginally attractive entertainers or television personalites are chuds and which are subchuds. We must seize the opportunity, and make these petty, frivolous judgements for ourselves. Who among you has the guts and integrity to man up, stand with me, and take this week's 'Chud or No Chud© ' challenge?If you lived through the 90's, then you are probably already familiar with Lisa Loeb's hit single 'stay'; -a horrific 3-minute musical abortion so heinous that, legend has it, will give you premanent erectile dysfunction if you listen to more than twice in a 10-minute period. For many, that song alone is enough of a dealbreaker to skew the competition, but let's hear what you guys think.
A few rules for your evaluation:
The chud-spectrum breaks down into 3 general categories: 1.Hot 2.Chud, and 3.Sub-Chud
• The Hot category is a no-brainer. Everyone and their dad would hit that. -Think Freida Pinto from the movie 'Slum Dog Millionaire'
• In the Chud category, there's a glimmer of something there. You can't quite put your finger on what that is, but most likely you'd put your dick on what that is...-(provided that shit stays on Downlow.) -Think current day Drew Barrymore.
• Sub-Chud is pretty self explanatory; It's not happening...-EVER. No way, no how. -think Jocelyne Wildenstein.

In the Comments section below, please leave your stance on where you think Lisa Loeb falls on the chud-spectrum, and site reasons for your decision. We will be scientifically compiling this data to come up with the official verdict as to weather or not she is indeed a chud or not. Good luck everybody!!

April 10, 2009

TAKE THE LORDS OF APATHY LISA LOEB CHALLENGE!

It's Friday everybody! -And you know what that means... Actually you probably don't, but it's challenge time! This past week I was in Staples, trying to exchange an ink cartridge for my printer. I was already super frustrated because I forgot to write down the model number of the kind I needed. Anyways, after about 10 minutes of obsessively/compulsively combing the printer ink isle staring down the barrel of making a 3rd consecutive fruitless trip to Staples, the unthinkable happened... Lisa Loeb's "Stay" came on over the piped-in store PA system. All of a sudden I felt dizzy; and it got unbearably hot in there... The only thing I could think of is "I've got to get the fuck out of here -IMMEDIATELY".
I'm not sure what the point of telling you that was supposed to be, but here's your challenge: Turn the volume all the way up as loud as it will go and bump this L.L. joint to the bitter end, or for as long as you can hold out... Think of it as a test of your mettle. -Kinda like the Marine in those commercials where he battles that fire-breathing CGI dragon. Let me know how far you get, and a brief description of your struggle in the comments section below.
(For the record, I only made it about 8 seconds.)